Full Respect to Uncle TNUC

There are a lot of blogs/tumblrs that sort through pop culture's detritus. This is one of the iller ones. Worth going through a few pages to peep all the sweet gems.
http://uncletnuc.blogspot.com/

It's not a clock but you'll always know what time it is. 

Encourage words for men like me. And could that bear/wolf be any more down?

"Sounds like my house, heyyyyyyyyyyy!"
-Ray Romano/Kevin James/Jim Belushi/Tim Allen/Tony Danza

Imagine being so in tune with nature that everytime you got that familiar itch in  your throat  a hawk or some ill bird would come swooping down to quench your unholy thirst. 

Attacking TJ Simers of the LA Times for Attacking Major League Soccer and David Beckham

as posted on majorleaguesoccertalk.com

In the waning days of print media, an old, enfeebled sports columnist for a major metropolitan daily shakes his fist limply at soccer to remind readers exactly why they left newspapers behind in the first place.

The Los Angeles Times is the fifth highest-circulating daily in the country and fading fast. Take a look at their roster of sports columnists. You’ll see that there are not many of them. Their average age makes Sir Alex Ferguson look cherubic. And they are just as bland as their dot-matrix portraits.

The paper once had a dedicated and great soccer writer, Grahame L. Jones, but he retired. The hole left by his departure has been filled with days-and-weeks old game recaps. At latimes.com, under the sports heading, readers can choose from the following sub-topics, “Dodgers, Angels, NFL, Ducks/Kings, USC, UCLA, College Football, Preps, Scores/Stats.” Good luck finding their soccer coverage.

Into this void stepped T.J. Simers, 61, who penned an asinine assault on David Beckham and soccer at large. Titled, “You name it, the Galaxy's $250-million man hasn't been worth it: It's five years later, and soccer still is nothing but an afterthought in Los Angeles,” it ran on Tuesday.

In his lede he harps on the dollar value of Beckham’s contract, as if Beckham were paid with taxpayer money. Why aren’t other hobbies cursed with the small-minded and pathetic obsession over how much stars earn? Do people care how much Drake makes, or Nic Cage’s per-movie gross, or what NBC pays for Saturday Night Live’s Kenan Thompson? Of course not, they just want to tip their cups to “I’m On One,” mock-plead “Not the bees!” and get rid of SNL’s dead weight. Sensible adults know that celebrities, athletes included, make their huge sums because of us, the fans and not from pilfering from the public purse or from putting a gun to anyone’s head. If we didn’t go to the concerts, if we didn’t watch the movies, if we didn’t go to the games, and if we didn’t spend $80 for uncomfortable ad-laden stretchy-fabric replica shirts then the stars of stage, screen and stadia would be clipping coupons.  

So Simers thinks Beckham’s salary is a sin. And Victoria Beckham is “…the well-known wife who looks like she has to live in a posh palace to be happy.” Nevermind this point’s lack of relevance for any self-respecting sports fan, Simers’ deep insight is that the rich enjoy being rich.  Maybe Victoria Beckham should drag the stone of shame up and down Rodeo Drive to please Simers.

Like most lonely people, Simers equates his personal experience with universal experience. Beckham did not speak with Simers, thus Beckham spoke to no one. And because Simers doesn’t watch soccer, well, then no one watches soccer.

It’s hard to analyze the rest of his column, because it descends into the incoherency common to megalomaniacs, as when he revealingly writes, “I replied [to Tim Leiweke, of the L.A. Galaxy ownership group] that I would take an interest as soon as Becks became available for a sit-down interview.”

Why should anyone having anything to do with the beautiful game, or any game for that matter, talk to a supposed professional who writes such unprofessional and ignorant drivel like, “Best record [the Galaxy’s regular season performance over the past few years] in L.A. for what? Being the team that no one cares about? If so, that would tie them with the Kings,” and cribbed Jay Leno gags like, “Did you know there's going to be an arrival celebration for the MLS Trophy Cup, with the Cup getting a police escort? You can just imagine how proud a cop will be to tell his wife: ‘Honey, I put my life on the line today for a paperweight.’"

Is it worth listing the leaps and bounds that soccer has made in this country in just 16 MLS seasons? Is it worth pointing out that the L.A. Galaxy averaged more than 23,000 a game this season, almost 2/3rds that of the Dodgers (at a much higher base ticket price to boot)? Is it worth telling Simers that NBC will broadcast MLS games next season? Is it worth having a pint with Simers on an early weekend morning standing cheek-by-jowl in the Ye Olde King’s Head in Santa Monica for a slate of games? Is it worth inviting Simers for a drive on a sunny southern California Saturday afternoon to point out all the barren baseball diamonds next to the soccer pitches teeming with players young and old?  

No, it’s not worth it. T.J. Simers is a cheap instigator. He accomplished his goal. He got more than 100 comments for his nonsense and thousands more hits. But any attention he received for his paper only served to remind readers why they stopped reading it in the first place. As recently as 2000, the L.A. Times had a circulation of one million, now it tenuously sits at a little more than half that.

The internet is the commonly blamed culprit for the death of newspapers. But newspapers have mainly themselves to blame. Just because no one is buying the physical paper every day doesn’t mean they aren’t reading the news, judging by the popularity of news aggregator sites like yahoo. Unfortunately, newspapers were slow to establish decent web presences. And even today, many papers have poorly designed sites that merely replicate the limited Associated Press content of their physical editions.

Content was king and will always be king. People who want interesting sports coverage visit sites and blogs like deadspin, theoffsiderules, every day should be saturday, soccer by ives, baseball prospectus, sports by brooks, and the epl talk family of sites just to name a few. People who want celebrity gossip or pop culture news visit sites like film drunk, the superficial or tmz. Many of the most popular sites are coarser than what existed before this century and there is no doubt that hard news coverage has suffered immensely because of lesser resources. But sports and entertainment newspaper content never kept pace.

Open the L.A. Times sports section today and you’ll find a meager five-page section filled with stale game recaps, staler box scores and one or two opinion columns from their roster of has-been reactionaries. Of those meager five pages, one or two will be devoted to high school sports, this, in the country’s second biggest city and in a city filled with transplants. The main page may have a color picture, the rest will be black and white and have the same milquetoast graphic design as twenty years ago. And the paper remains a broadsheet, making it a chore to read outside in a city where it is 70 and balmy in January.

And with all that, they wonder where all the readers went while wasting what little sports content they offer spitting in your face for daring to enjoy soccer.

"I'm Calling it Shea" Corporate Stadium Naming Rights Trend Invades the Premier League

My latest for epltalk. Newcastle's St. James' Park is being renamed Sports Direct Arena. But the companies don't pay us anything to call a stadium what they want. We're under no obligation to keep track of mergers and acquisitions to find out what the new name of a stadium is every year. How many names has the S.F. Giants' ballpark had? Anyone know which cities the American Airlines Arena and the American Airlines Arena are in? Isn't easier if we just refer to new stadiums as "(team name's) stadium" and old stadiums by their old names?

"I'm calling it Shea" t-shirts available at the excellent nomas.com

My David Silva Photoshop in the Guardian

As featured in this Guardian gallery.
David Silva is killing it for Man City, who recently eviscerated Man United 6-1. In response, Sir Alex has pulled Wayne Rooney back into the midfield. And Rooney's not above advanced hair surgery techniques.

"Bitch, you without me is like Harold Melvin without the Blue Notes, you'll never go platinum" Snoop Dogg, Doggy Dogg World Intro

Rick Ross (baws) can boast all he wants, clearly, Harold Melvin and the Blue Notes are the Boss of all Bosses, er, Bosses of all Bossessess. Also, the hardest looking law firm of all time. Also, Teddy Pendergrass is still clearly glaring at the Mza. Also, the babyfaced dude with the bow tie is the odd man out. Also, Harold Melvin aka Eddie Murray.

Transsexual Member of European Parliament

he/she needs to sue his/her doctor

ill crispy vintage pictures of Jim Jones and Tupac hanging with Shock G.

Jones channeling R. Kelly's plaintive cry "braid my hair...."

pre-tattoos 

Uncle Luke Campbell of 2 Live Crew Threatens to Revoke Lil Wayne's M.I.A.M.I. card; also Steve Serby on Pats-Giants

Luke Campbell, still pulling the strings in the M.I.A. Don't forget, in the video for "I'm On One," Lil Wayne, Drake, Rick Ross (Baws) and DJ Khaled are chilling in an empty loft in downtown Miami., drinking out of red dixie cups overlooking Biscayne Bay on an overcast day. Was Weez making a statement on the state of the greater-Miami area economy? Pick up the latest issue of Hip-Hop magazine to find out.
Also, is a Tupac sex tape scandalous if he's dead?
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Steve 'SerbyBot 3000" Serby on yesterday's Giants win over the Pats.
SuperMann in Glendale, Ariz.,, SuperMann in Foxborough, Mass.

The advanced software of SerbyBot is set to cut and paste the above sentence next week should the Jets beat the Pats as well. "Last week, SuperMann in Foxborough, today, Mark can be SuperSan in East Rutherford."

Mo Classic Album Covers from Ye Olde Record Shop. Yo.

If shit like this hung in the MoMA I would go. Well, not for $25 but I'd at least ponder the notion.

Simpson looks less like she's in love and more like she's been captured. But hard to not be enraptured by Ashford's Lion eyes. 

No jokes, that's just good looking art

Pssst, I think he's looking at you. And by you, I mean the MZA.

Fucking asshole. Even Mad Magazine wouldn't run that pun.

Kenny Rogers....or Bob Seger? Jeezo-Peezo, they're all laughing because they banged that chick before the show. Except the guitar player. He's looking at Kenny like, "What's so funny?"

Kenny Loggins' much cooler, much more mellow brother. Rocking the canadian tuxedo AND a ribbed turtleneck AND a  middle-part perm AND he's still like, "Whatever you wanna do, man, it's cool."

that is a lineup. 

No more Daylight Savings Time in England Could Make Soccer Watching Much Worse in America

New post up at EPL Talk. Stupid daylight savings time.

Vintage Handball and Ping Pong Books

Further proof of the Mza's all-time axiom, things weren't better back in the day, except for back in our day. Peep these champs. Remember the brouhaha over Tom Brady's supposed effeminate hair? These men brushed their hair, conditioned their hair, oiled their hair, teased their hair, permed their hair, fucking luxuriated in their hair, then went out, played some handball, slapped each other's butts, slammed 12-14 Budweisers then dipped their balls in gruyere fondue before driving home. Drunk.

I feel like I was the G in blue in a past life. Such form. You know he just hit a killer.

Dr. Who pinging that pong. Such supreme concentration.

Good Gawd! Did anybody ever do these drills?