Meet the 2011 Mets, The Same as the 2010 Mets aka B.O.H.I.C.A.

Let's take a guess at the 2011 Mets and see if we can get pumped.
C: Josh Thole
1B: Ike Davis
2B: Luis Castillo (perhaps sprinkled with .200 hitter Ruben Tejada)
SS: Jose Reyes
3B: David Wright
LF: Jason Bay (considering the Met history with concussions, Ryan Church, David Wright, Bay, etc, shouldn't the team be trailblazers and mandate that they all use the new Gazoo-type helmet that will protect players significantly better? Bay suffered his in the field, but still)
CF: Carlos Beltran aka Carblows Blowtran
RF: Angel Pagan
Rotation:
1. Johan Santana aka Blowhan Can'tana whenever he returns next spring, certainly not in April.
2. Jon Niese
3. Mike Pelfrey aka Big Fucking Pelf aka Fucking Big Pelf
4. R.A. Dickey; who has, at the very least, earned a shot at starting again next year but really, how can he keep this up?
5. P.P. Scrapheapo (the P.P.  is for poo-poo)
Closer: Bobby Parnell?
Manager: Someone cheap yet able to energize the chump fan base aka Lee Mazzilli
Sprinkle a couple of retread reclamation bench players and there you go. Not much to get pumped for, eh?

Take This Take This, Hold This Hold This, How Do You Pitch?; Also, Chicks Dig The Long Ball

The Daily Snooze takes a momentary break from inducing slumber to droppp this ill slideshow of ill baseball grips. Worth a peep except they include R.A. Dickey and Tommy "I'm Not Devastated" Glavine for some reason.
Would love to see a similar photo essay for our stickball grips. The Miz and I could fill a book by ourselves, I imagine that Cannatar, the Biz and Bryman have boring tradish grips.
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Juan Pierre to the White Sox, Hideki Upper Decki Matsui to the Angels and the return of the Mets 5th Starter Poo-Poo Platter

Espn is reporting that the Chisox have traded for the Dodgers' Juan Pierre. There were rumors a little while back that the Dodgers would have taken Luis Castillo off the Mets' hands in exchange for taking Pierre's burdensome contract. This would have cleared the way for the Mets to plug Orlando Hudson at 2nd base. Ah well.

And it appears that the Halos have reached an agreement with Hideki "Upper Decki" Matsui, who would replace Vlad Guerrero as their DH. It's been tough watching Vlad hobble around these past few years, but he's still got that awesome swing. Could he end up doing part-time duty in El Bronx?

And in news sure to make Freddy Coups happy, the annual Mets 5th Starter Poo-Poo Platter Invitational has resumed. First invitee, Kelvim Escobar.

BOHICA

Have to give the Mets brass' some credit: to dissipate the negative reaction they'd receive for signing their third catcher of the offseason, they used Mike Francesa as a vehicle -remember the Chevrolet Suburban or Ford Excursion?- to spread word that they are making an offer to outfielder Jason Bay. Of course, the Mets will bat .500 here, signing Bengie Molina and whiffing on Bay, and BOHICA.