J-E-T-S

Some Jets photoshop love from the vaults.

Rex and Michelle Ryan: Can I Live?

Gossip Folk, homies don't dance no mo they just dissssss. But if they wanna hate let em hate watch the wins pile up. Shit, as if you don't want to get down with her feets anyways.

Manchize's Only True Love is Football reports Jamie Lynn Sigler; Also, David Beckham's Goldenballs Shine Brighter in Person

 

The Manchize only has eyes for football and is a total dork, as reported in the New York Post.  

Have to wonder tho, how comfortable Sanchez was enjoying Turtle's sloppy leftovers, especially considering that he was breaking off Hillary Rhoda at this time last year:

 

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I've designed a new image to go with Jesse Chula's weekly "Footballer of the Week" column over at EPL Talk. Here is the final along with two also-rans I created.

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Finally, and most importantly, I saw David Beckham on the street last night here in Santa Monica. He's even more ravishing and dreamy in person. He truly is Goldenballs. We were on an empty street and he str8 ice-grilled me harshie-style, maybe he thought I was paparazzi.

Welcome to the Future and Have an Ice-Cold Pepsi at New Giants Stadium

The main story this morning on the New York Post's website was a breathless write-up of the "futuristic" and "far-out" features of New Giants Stadium, otherwise known as a giant air-conditioner with a giant ad for Pepsi-max on the side. (again, people thought the neon ballplayers on shea were tacky??)
Before diving into these features, keep in mind that the old Giants Stadium was only 34 years old, and was perfectly serviceable....for the average fan. This stadium was clearly not built with the average fan in mind, and from the inside, it looks almost exactly the same as the old place.

Anyhoo, back to the press relea---article:
"The new, high-tech features includes the creation of a mobile app, powered by Verizon Wireless, that will offer fans updated scores, team news, player information and highlights from around the NFL on their phones as they watch the game from their seats."
Live scores??? ON MY PHONE?!?!!??! "Ronald Reagan? The actor? Then who's vice-president? Jerry Lewis??"

"During games, the stadium's four large JumboTrons, powered by Cisco StadiumVision, will show live game footage and weather information."
Also, the stadium conveniently lacks a roof, allowing fans to peer at the sky for weather information. "Hey! Lookee at that giant tv, it says it's fucking cold and snowing outside!" 

"In another Jetsons-like twist, fans in the stadium's 200 luxury suites will be able to order food and merchandize through touch-screen TVs mounted in their suites."

The hallowed name of the "Jetsons" dare not be invoked lest we are talking about cars that transform into briefcases and self-dog washing machines. What's more decadent? Ordering your food off a computer as if you were at your desk ordering seamless web after another 14-hour day at the office killing it? Or having someone called a "waiter" answer to your beck and call and dutifully bring what food you tell him to bring you?

"When fans enter New Meadowlands, they are going to feel like they're stepping into the future," John Mara added.

 

Can us fans just go to a game and sit in a seat and watch a game? Or does everything have to be a hard sell?

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Even noted Middle Eastern scholar Donald Al-Trump is against the downtown mosque! EVEN DONALD TRUMP! What else will it take to convince you falafel-eating, Ted-Kennedy-worshipping, Wind-Turbine-Spinning, bike-riding learjet liberals?!!?! 

 

Coachie Ballgames Catches Love at Uniwatch for Jets and Giants Logo Concepts

 

I submitted a  bunch of Jet and Giant concepts to Uniwatchblog.com which got posted there this past Sunday. 

South Beach Loses Out On Jets Fans Coming to the Super Bowl; also, From West Ham United to West Ham Olympic?

You won't get any expert analysis here. Seemed like the Colts TD at the end of the half was the turning point. Had the chance to go into the half up 17-6. Super bummer. And super bummer for recession-batterered Miami-area restaurants and clubs which no doubt would have preferred an infusion of New York/New Jerz play money rather than a bunch of Hoosiers. Not saying Hoosiers don't party, but bro, let's just say, they don't walk into a club and kill it. 

And while I was rooting for the Saints in the afternoon-cap, that pass interference call in OT was complete nonsense. Forget whether the ball was catchable or not, the dude tripped over himself. Sudden-Death OT is meaningless if a bad call puts a team in figgie pudding range. Hopefully this game becomes the impetus for OT rule changes, at least in the playoffs. Let the opposing team at least get a touch.

Got a piece up at EPL Talk about the new owners of West Ham United and their ambitious plans.

What Would Mangini Eat?

Mangini Dreamz.

I have a proclivity for rather strange dreams about the sporting world, like the one where I was pulled hastily from my job tending gardens to deliver the eulogy for my best pal, Sidney Ponson.

This Sunday morning I awoke around 7AM with a sudden start and in a cold sweat. The last I remember I was reading a "Jets Confidential" column in the Post which reported, "Now we can reveal Mangini's favorite sandwiches to order from Subway. Mangini was such a regular that he had unique code-names for his favorites. Mangini would order a 'Baps' which was a combo-footlong, with one-half being every lunch meat on the menu cooked until crispy and the other half being simple meatballs marinara. Mangini's other fave was 'Two Franks Wrapped Around A Frank' which was two Italian sausages split open and wrapped around a sausage marinara sandwich."

Now I can't go back to sleep.

No Beer No Alcohol To Be Served at Jets-Bengals Giants Stadium Finale.

In a real fuck you to Jets fans, the New Jersey Sports & Exposition Authority, the entity that runs the Meadowlands Sports Complex, has announced that no beer or booze will be served at Sunday night's Jets-Bengals game, which will be the last at Giants Stadium.

That's right, been a season-ticket holder for decades? Fuck you. Can't afford your Personal Seat License for the new monstrosity so this Sunday is likely the last you'll see in person? Fuck you. Paid hundreds for a ticket? Fuck you.

Sure, you could booze beforehand, but there's still a FOUR-HOUR game to sit through. At night. And one that could be staggeringly heartbreaking for Gang Green fans. Lukewarm cocoa cannot mop up tears. Nor can a stale pretzel.

Well, an anonymous dump deserves an anonymous sendoff. Watch from home Jets fans.

Happy Thanksgiving New York

Guard Yo Grill. That dude on the lower right is peeping your shit.

So much to be thankful for on the New York sporting scene. The middling Giants. The wayward Jets. The regressing Knicks. The historically abysmal Nets. The underachieving 'Gers. The overachieving but still bad Isles (bro). The invisible Devils. The fallen-off-the-face-of-the-earth Johnnies of St. John's. Did I mention how well the Red Bulls (bro) and the Mets did this year?

Man, does any town have it as bad as NYC right now? With this much losing it's no wonder chumps like Jay-Z have to overcompensate with the over-the-top bragging. Welcome to New Yawk. Gobble-Gobble, suckers.

Al K. Mza Has Lost his Appetite

Al K. Mza has got no Jet-recipes for you today. He is sick to his stomach. Here are his thoughts:
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With apologies to Chris Onstad, It's a FUCK YOU FRIDAY!
Andre Agassi! Fuck you!
Theirry Henry! Fuck you!
Allen Iverson to the Knicks! Fuck you!
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***UPDATE***
It appears that the Knicks are making the right call by not signing A.I. More for A.I.'s sake. A great player like Iverson deserves better than to spend his last dayz playing absolutely meaningless games and not being part of the general baskets conversation. He deserves to play for a peripheral contender.

The Knicks need to concentrate on finding a draft pick for next summer, since the Jzzzz currently hold theirs. They need to find hungry young players from the 10-day contract group of ballers.

Is there such a thing as Jets pride?

The hunch - the beers - the jersey -- it says it all.

At least next year, our camo-hat-and-under-hoodie-wearing-walrus-stache-rocking-walking-man has this to look forward to...
that's right, our new stadium is an air conditioner.

Many Questions...

...but at least we have a definitive answer to "what should Mark Sanchez's nickname be?" Sanchize is corny and reminds me too much of Steve Francis. After last week's hot dog-gate and this week's over the top celebration -could he have held the ball any further off his body on the way to the endzone?- on his bootleg, it's absolutely appropriate Mark Sanchez -only John "Carlos BELTRON/Rafael FOURcal" Miller is allowed to call him SanCHEZ- shall henceforth be called "El Chorizo."

Meanwhile, if the Jets are gonna sign kickoff returners from the street, why not give Chad Morton a call? He must have as much left in his tank as Justin Miller does in his. And Larry Izzo must still be tending to his burn wounds.

Vindicated

Sometimes, it's good to know that other people think the same way we do.

The legendary Peter Vecsey writing about how Donnie Walsh really, truly hasn't done much of any real rebuilding.

And the underrated George Willis, talking about Leon Washington, seconding the thoughts Freddie Coups had on Sunday.

Only 4 Teams Play in New York City.

New Jerz, so close....yet so far. I aint crossing that river unless there's a damn good reason.

The New York Post's Mike Vaccaro's highlighted the Sporting News' list of the best American sports cities this past Sunday. NYC placed 6th, behind Titsburgh, Ill-Will-y (R.I.P.), Beantown, the Shy, and the City of Compton (it's where it takes place). L.A. should only outrank such sports towns as Hotlanta or the M.I.A. No doubt, this town loves its Lake Show, but when the "low point" over the past 50 years of the Lakers were the highly-entertaining Nick Van Exel-Eddie "Butter"Jones-Cedric "Ball-O" Ceballos-Vlade "Feta+Marlboros" Divac years, well then, they are an easy bunch to love. (I highly recommend peeping the video linked in the previous sentence. Moreover, hard to say which NBA Live 95 team was more G, the Lakers, or the G-State Warriors of Chris 'T.O." Webber, Chris "Oh You Got A" Gatling, Latrell "It Aint Hard to Tell" Sprewell, Chris "Derek Jeter Stole My Haircut" Mullin, Billy "Oh No" Owens, and Tim "Sold My Soul to Pat Riley" Hardaway. Man, you know what, PLEASE WATCH THIS VIDEO. MORE IMPORTANTLY WATCH THIS ONE.)

So, other than L.A., I can't see much justification for placing New York much higher. Vaccaro deads the Shy and the Detroit (#10 on the list) for including outlying areas like Evanston and Ypsilanti, yet only four of New York's 9 (10 if you include the Red Bulls) play within the city limits. Moreover, Vaccaro contradicts his anti-suburb-inclusive-point when he states that, since 1996, New York teams have won 8 titles versus Boston's 6. First, his math seems off by one. Second, if you subtract the two Cups won by the Jersey Devils and the one Bowl won by the Jersey Giants, we are left with the four titles won by the Yankees.

Nitpicking aside, New York will always suffer on these kind of lists because New Yorkers cannot unite behind any one team in any sport. No team, not even the Yankees, especially the Yankees, can speak for New York. The only team that can come close is the Knicks. They haven't been relevant since 2000. Plus, the Bucktown Nets now seem that much closer to reality.

I suppose a more important question is why we can't support a united New York, as in, why shouldn't we support any New York team when it faces a team from another city? I know my answer, it's because Hov rocks Yankee fitteds aka the Yankees suck. Your answers?

Thanks to sportslogos.net for the source logos.

That Whiskey Wind......

Our pal, and lover of Gang Green, Al K. Mza checks in with another recipe sure to make your Sunday more sultry:

As the weather gets colder, is there any drink better than a dram of fine whiskey to warm the soul? Only when combined with the greatest of all instant desserts...the poundcake.

Ingredients:
One package Poundcake
Scotch, 2-3 shots to taste
Ice Cream optional
The best scotch to use here would be one with heavy fruit flavors and very little smokiness for a toffee like finish on top of the cake.

Slice and warm the poundcake, splash scotch shots over the top. Let soak. Finish with a scoop of ice cream.
Enjoy the game with the rest of the bottle.

Taste of Leather

Had the super-sexy photoshop of Rex and Sanchez posted at Withleather.com. Try to keep it in your pants upon viewing.

Rex & Mex: NY's Newest Heartthrobs

You've probably heard how desperate the Titans are for a win after getting nipped by a combined six points in each of their first two contests. You've also no doubt been made aware of the 'swagger' Rex Ryan has brought to a previously vanilla Jet defense. One tidbit that'll be mentioned during the broadcast is the link between the head coaches of both teams, as Jeff Fisher began his coaching career under Buddy Ryan's wing in Chicago and Rex Ryan is, well, Buddy's son.

A quarterback comparison shouldn't be surprising either, as you have seasoned vet Kerry Collins' emotional return to the Meadowlands, where he used to fumble snaps at a record setting pace but enjoyed some great seasons with the G-men and of course, rookie Mark Sanchez's third career start after two solid games. Both quarterbacks will operate under similar gameplans that involve tossing screens to their respective play-making backs, Chris Johnson and Leon Washington, though Kerry still has a cannon and may test the Jets' secondary in one-on-one coverage, especially if the Titans pick up the Jets' blitz. But considering how uncomfortable Tom Brady was in the face of the Jets' myriad of blitzes and coverages -Rex picked up his dad's practice of constantly rotating defensive backs- how will Collins respond, especially after struggling against Rex's Ravens in last year's Divisional Playoff game?

As for Sanchez, can he keep threading needles on third down to tight end Dustin Keller and receivers Jericho Cotchery and Chansi Stuckey, often relying on tough YAC to move the chains? It's just two games, but Sanchez has shown the ability to slide around the pocket, much like Ben Roethlisberger -the QB who can make the most out of any broken play- and Tony Romo, but his play fakes need a lot of work -he should practice breaking hearts when he goes out about town.

So will the Rex and Mex train keep rolling or get derailed by they testy Titans? I don't buy the match as a 'letdown' game for the Jets, because as cathartic as last week's victory over New England was, the Titans aren't some chump squad to be overlooked. They were the best team in the AFC last year and still feature plenty of talent on both sides of the ball. They can win on their own merit, but not this week. J! E! T! S! JETS! JETS! JETS!

***Added Bonus*** Our pal Al K. Mza will be checking in from time to time with recipes for treats during Sunday action. If you ask him now, he's starving. Here's his first contribution:

Going with the green theme of green shoots, green economy and gang green. Fall is still around and before we stuff ourselves with wings and beer, the following recipe is a literal gutcheck.

Cucumber sandwich
take cucumber. slice.
place on buttered toast.
eat

fancy version -- add sliced tomatoes.
foodies version -- israeli cucumber and heirloom tomatoes, irish butter, and mint leaves (still can make about 20 sandwiches for less than $10!)

Not-so-Jolly Jets Preview, by MZA & Fred Coupon

Fred: I love the NY tabloids hype the teams up now
then rip them for sucking
MZA: oh classic trader's mentality -- pump and dump
create "fake value"
build up a bubble
then pop the shit out of it
Fred: best part is rex ryan adding to it
his stupid lines are great ammo
MZA: yeah
i think he will be the first coach to actually explode on the sidelines
he bends light
he's so fat
i think we're looking at a 1-4 start
this season has a SOLID 4-12 feel to it
Fred: maybe 6 tops
they can beat buffalo and miami once each
esp buffalo in toronto - stupid bills killing their home field advantage
MZA: oh right
karma style
Fred: I was curious about making a trip there, but tix are expensive
MZA: broke ass buffalo residents buying seats
then they shaft them
a game
Fred: yup
but even if they go 4-12
would they win in oakland for once
sick of going there and losing every year
at 75% of the time
MZA: no they will lose
i actually think oakland will be better than expected
Fred: richard seymour 5 sacks
only ones of the year
MZA: oh totally
mcfadden monster game
...
MZA: so what do we have beyond bragging rights to the best looking quarterback in NY (vinny notwithstanding) Fred: damn good practice facility
MZA: it's easy to hype this team up
because on paper they don't seem too bad, if you assume sanchez will be decent
and if you assume ryan is a better in game coach than the mangenius
Fred: especially in game defensive adjustments
which was non-existent under mangini
I am worried about lito shepard
the jets blitz a lot
so teams will throw his way and burn him
MZA: it would be nice to have vilma back - i think he would have flourished in ny regardless of system - but this one especially
i guess ty law isnt a phone call away anymore
Fred: the worst part is
calvin pace is out for the hardest part of the schedule
MZA: 0-5 going into the buffalo game?
i think that's doubtful
i think 1-4 with a win at miami
but again
i can't remember being less enthusiastic for the start of a season as i am for this one
ironic considering the sanchez pick was supposed to kickstart the emotions
it's like the mets infection has spread to gangrene
Fred: to be fair now
jets are far below the mets on the ladder
at least the mets have won and competed
gotta take the benigno approach with the jets
always expect the worst
MZA: yes but that leads to the formation of the "maddog" fan
w/r/t the selling of firstborn children
Fred: "I'll leave now! mushnick can be happy! just one time!"
MZA: and speaking of irony what is up with the jets closing out giants stadium.
Fred: that's the best
bet the HOUSE on cincy
thats the last team right
MZA: yeah
Fred: easiest money ever
all the jets have done there is lose
why change it for the last game
MZA: i wonder what their alltime giants stadium record is
Fred: I think it's 101-103
MZA: wow
Fred: read that in a post article about the stadium
at least they won some home playoff games
not many, but still
MZA: check this out
http://www.theredzone.org/strength.asp
Fred: damn
tough 3rd place schedule
MZA: leads to easy last place finish
Fred: hmm
for all the bad vibes about the jets
I hear more about the bills
and their horrific offense
they also have the worst or second worst coach in the league
remember when jauron gave the jets a win last year during the collapse
MZA: yes
that game was a meeting of the minds
Fred: cant wait for the rematch
MZA: wasnt that the same game where mangini almost gave it back
well i agree with you on the toronto angle
in terms of the cover lock
but a win?
i dont know
Fred: do you think TO will demand a trade if the bills start 0-3
or demand to get released
that ship could sink quick
bring him to the jets
MZA: why not
keyshawn part 2
the post would love those headlines
i think if we're lucky we go 3-5 into the break
Fred: I'd run for that
MZA: not sure we can beat oakland
since we never do
and i think theyre going to be better than expected
then maaaybe 2 wins in the second half
Fred: if the jets go 6-10
but somehow beat the dolphins twice
I'd love that
cannot get swept by chad
MZA: why not
i still believe in pennington
Fred: he's the new jeff garcia
MZA: excellent comparison
Fred: will always be better than any qb on your roster
MZA: then who's the new chad?
Fred: but never good enough to win a title
hmm
MZA: carson palmer?
Fred: even chad played more games when he got hurt
I barely remember carson
so sad when that steelers lineman sat on him
killed the whole franchise
MZA: yeah
Fred: I have a question
do those pepsi forever young commercials
have to be run by players and coaches unions
cause they show belichick
he's not part of the coaches assoc
MZA: dont think i've ever seen it -- link?
he would make a good coors light guy but i guess he's have to be in coaches union
Fred: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GemMjWSUreM
did you know in madden
he's NE HC
because of that
MZA: i like that
just for the oldschool videogame throwback
like qb eagles
Fred: hehe
MZA: or #23
Fred: it also pays homage to his note with the jets
was it "I resign as HC of NYJ"?
MZA: right
6 words that sent the franchise back to the short bus
Fred: now what was the deal - did leon hess promise him the job before hiring tuna
MZA: it was the sale
according to his press conference
from hess - woody
Fred: the funny thing is
woody isnt that bad compared to his predecessor
MZA: record wise
strike that
i agree, but something always seems missing with this team
it's like ordering a drink with no booze in it
Fred: it's the curse of shea
hit the jets
now the mets
...
I think the last exchange sums up the franchise pretty well.