The Chicago Bulls' Failure with the NBA Free Agents of 2000 and a Lesson For the Knicks

 While the basketball media-at-large, save Peter Vescey continue to shower love on Teflon Donnie Walsh, it's hard to find an actual fan endorsing the direction of the Knicks. Lost in the hullaballoo of the $-shedding move for the whisper of T-Mac. (His legs are fine! Where have we heard this before?) was the forfeiture of more draft picks. As the imperious and ever-on-his game Vescey points out in Sunday's Post, the team the Knicks lost to on Saturday, the Oklahoma City Thunder, were built, in less time than the Knick "rebuilding" plan has taken, through the draft. Durant was a no-brainer, but Russell Westbrook, James Harden and Jeff Green weren't.

Of course, everyone rationalizes, all will be forgiven if the Knicks end up with LeG.O.D.D. and Chris Bosh this summer (but what if it's Amare and T-Mac?). Well, let the past play prologue. In the summer of 2000, Tim "Big Funda" Duncan, Tracy "The fact that I was sought after in the year 2000 should be most ominious" McGrady, Grant "Oh Shit, Fila?" Hill, and Eddie "Butter" Jones were all free agents. The Chicago Bulls had cleared enough payroll to sign two of those ballers to 'instantly' rebuild in the wake of the Jordan/Pippen era.


They ended up with Ron Mercer.

George Peppard: An icon to boys and girls alike

Now that's a hunky chest

 I recently saw Breakfast at Tiffany's at a revival theater; having never seen it before. As I sipped on my bottle of smuggled-in wine (out of a coke cup-classy!), I got the feeling that I recognized the lead actor from somewhere. At first I thought it was Fred Gwynn, from The Munsters and My Cousin Vinny, but this guy romancing Audrey Hepburn seemed too handsome to be the same dude. Well, color me shocked to later learn it was George Peppard aka M.F.n Hannibal from The A-Team.

 

 

 Which got me thinking further, knowing that Coachette, like many other ladies, ranks Tiffany's as one her favorite flicks, and knowing how iconic Hannibal was for deryls my age and older, has any other actor played an iconic role for each sex? It'd be like Hugh Grant starring in Knight Rider or something. Or Molly Ringwald starring in Terminator.

 Of course, being a Natural Born Hater, I'm not down with this summer's big-screen A-Team relaunch. The appeal of the A-Team was in its jackpot casting, not in its premise. Liam Neeson is a fine actor and all, but it's all too gimmicky and stunty. To me, there are Shakesperean franchises, stories capable of being adapted with different actors and different contexts. Think West Side Story, Twilight or James Bond. Then there are stories which work well in only a certain time and place. And that's the A-Team, a story that worked only because of the actors in it and the context of the time it came out. Moreover, I question it's value as a brand, as it no meaning to anyone younger than ourselves save for that Mr. T was in it. 

To coincide with the new movie, a new line of A-Team comics is being released. From the looks of this cover it's waaaay to serious. Backstory and exposition not needed, Hannibal smoking a stog while B.A. blows some shit up is. George Peppard, R.I.P.

Improving Defensive Statistics in Baseball by Recording Each Play.

 A company named SportVision will install video cameras at every Major League ballpark to record each play. "Sportvision’s FieldFX camera system records the action while object-recognition software identifies each fielder and runner, as well as the ball. After a play, the system spits out data for every movement: the trajectory of the ball, how far the fielder ran, and so on. “After an amazing catch by an outfielder, we can compare his speed and route to the ball with our database and show the TV audience that this player performed so well that 80 percent of the league couldn’t have made that catch,” says Ryan Zander, Sportvision’s manager of baseball products."

SportVision could make some serious side-money by selling DVD compilation of certain players and their gaffes. No doubt Fred Coupon would have gotten me a DVD of David Murphy's lowlights in the outfield for Christmas had such a DVD existed. And I would have loved it. Would have put it on my shelf next to my VHS copy of "Rey-O," the tape where Cookie Rojas and Rey Ordonez give a master class in defense. Of course, Keith Hernandez is training Murph at first base this year so that's all behind us. 

Manchester United 3, AC Milan 2, First Leg, Champions League Knockout Stage

 

Got a post up at EPL Talk sharing my thoughts on Tuesday's thoroughly entertaining Man United-Milan tilt. I let the Jay Leno one-liners rip in this one.

Proposal for Playoffs in the Premier League to Determine Fourth Champions League Spot.

 

New post at EPL Talk discussing the proposal to have the 4th, 5th, 6th, and 7th place finishers in the Premier League battle it out at the end of the season to determine England's fourth contestant for the Champions League.

Coachie Ballgames Catches Love at Uniwatch for Jets and Giants Logo Concepts

 

I submitted a  bunch of Jet and Giant concepts to Uniwatchblog.com which got posted there this past Sunday. 

One Third of Mets Fans Are Delusional

From MetsBlog:

Landycakes and Ashley Cole Injury

My latest at EPL Talk.

The Grown Ups Starring Adam Sandler, Chris Rock, Kevin James, David Spade and Rob Schneider

 Could go with several taglines hrrr:
"The '90s called, they want their comedians back."
"The Comedy Version of the Expendables."
 "Men of a Certain Age: The Movie!" 
"Somewhere, Chris Farley is smiling. And farting."
It's not hard to imagine that if Chris Farley were alive he'd be there in place of Kevin James. Sort of how like Bill Murray's part in Ghostbusters was written and intended for John Belushi. Or how Jim Belushi travels the shitty casinos of the land reprising his brother's role with Dan Akroyd in a touring Blues Brothers. I aint mad at Kevin James tho, I paid damn good money to rent Paul Blart: Mall Cop. Although that beard is creepier than his prerecorded maniacal "Let's Go Mets!" chant at New Shea.

Meanwhile, The Expendables has been pushed back to an August release. Probably better for its Oscar chances than coming out now. I'll leave it to y'all to decide which is a better tagline; "Semper Fi-ght" from the Expendables or "Show No Merci" from From Paris With Love. (couldn't find an image but it's in the print ads).

 

 

Think they realized that "Two Agents. One City. No Merci" reads as "Two Agents. One City. No Thanks?" kinda like selling the Chevy Nova in Mexico.

David Patterson Vows to Stay in Office; New York is a Failed State; Open Primaries and Single Transferable Votes

Tell me, just how does my ass taste?

David Patterson, he doesn't deserve the formality of being called 'Governor,' has vowed that he will not resign his office despite his personal indiscretions and his far more serious complete inability to govern. "The only way I'm not going to be governor next year is at the ballot box, and the only way I'll be leaving office before is in a box," he said, defiantly. It would make for one farcical campaign. He can point to no achievement, major or minor, and he stands strongly on no issue save gay marriage, which is likely a subterfuge to draw attention from his complete lack of accomplishments and a State Legislature that openly defies him at every turn. Such dysfunction is nothing new. Joe Bruno, pictured above, was State Senate Majority Leader for 14 disastrous years until he was forced to resign in the face of corruption charges that he was eventually convicted of last year.

And he had the nerve to complain about his portrayal on Saturday Night Live

The poverty of New York State politics seems indicative of a failed state. When governmental institutions fail they must be taken over from the outside. Two prominent examples that come to mind are the consent decree entered into by the U.S. Department of Justice and the L.A.P.D. in 2000 that lasted for nine years. Closer to home New York State was forced to take over the City of Buffalo in 2003 to avoid the city becoming bankrupt.

Election reform is needed. Too many districts are 'dead districts' where incumbents or single parties reign for decades on end. Voter turnout in statewide elections continues to trend down toward nothingness. One interesting idea would be to scrap the 'winner-take-all' system we currently have for statewide elections in favor of a system that encourages more parties or at least more choice for each party. Bloomberg has called for "open" primaries. Really, why have primaries at all? If there are three great Democratic nominees for an office, and no great Republican ones, let them duke it out in November rather than having to duplicate efforts and elections. With more than two candidates on a ballot a 'single transferable vote' or 'alternative vote top-up' system could be implemented where voters could rank or weigh their choices.

Really, almost any change would be better than the current sytem of rampant corruption, disastrous budgeting, clandestine decision-making, voter apathy and criminal investigations of politicians years after the damage is done.

More Love for Punny

Democracy in Amerikka; Almost Every Major New York Politician is Unelected

Go Fuck Yourself

Nice little nugg in yesterday's NY Post on the sentencing of former New York State Assemblyman Anthony Seminerio to six years in the clink on corruption charges related to his "consultancy" work for area hospitals , work he carried out while still holding office. Seminerio was caught on tape saying to Assembly Speaker Shelly Silver, "I don't give a f--- [if] you close down every hospital in the city -- you leave my hospitals alone."

Worth remembering the state of New York politricks right now:
Governor-Unelected (Patterson replacing Spitzer)
State Comptroller-Unelected (DiNapoli replacing Hevesi)
Junior Senator-Unelected (Gilibrand replacing Hillary after months of dithering, chicanery and delay by Patterson, somehow we survived all that time only having one Senator)
New York City Mayor-Elected to third term by slim margin only after spending more than any campaign in history and overturning two public referendums on term limits through City Council backroom dealing.

Kinda stunning to see in print. I feel like this info should be put in a box and placed somewhere on the front pages of the NY Times, Daily News, NY Post and Newsday everyday. It's the kind of eye-opener that makes you question the very need for government. If the State Assembly and Senate were to disappear tomorrow, would New York City slide into the sea?

Life would go on, our garbage would get picked up, kids would get taught, cops would bust boombaclot heads, and train service would be nonexistent on weekends, while more than $6 billion of our tax dollars every year would continue to go to just pay off debt for past failures. When the State and City income tax go up, when the sales tax goes up, when every fine and fee goes up, when the subway fare goes up, when mysterious surcharges are added to the cost of every mundane parking ticket, when libraries are open five hours a day five days a week, when there are no crosstown buses, we have to ask if the people in charge tried their hardest to save, and we have to ask just who it is that's actually making the decisions over our lives. Maybe it all sounds a tad Tea Party-ish, but looking back up at the list of major unelected players should cause any person, regardless of party affiliation, great concern.

Zombie Football; Also EPL Talk's Premier Leage Footballer of the Week

If you're looking for a distraction at work or a diversion in general, I recommend a new flash game called zombie football. Minutes upon minutes of fun. Less to do with soccer, more with killing zombies.
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Also, I've designed a logo for a new feature at EPL Talk highlighting a player of the week. Those of you out there who like Arsenal may dig author Jesse Chula's characterization of the club as "beautiful passing gnomes."

More Big Pun Pictures

10th Anniversary of Big Pun's Death; I just lost a hundred pounds, I'm trying to live."

"I just lost a hundred pounds/I'm trying to live."

Like a prior generation with JFK's death, I remember exactly where I was when I learned of Pun's passing. I had just copped the Post from the deli in Broome and was walking up Centre past Hoomos Asli. Of course, the Post wrote the story up humorosly. And I admit, I kinda chuckled at the news. It wasn't exactly a surprise at that point as the word was that he was close to 700 pounds. A few years later, we saw him in his last film role in "Urban Menace," motionless in his chair in every scene, wheezing his words like a sad Don Corleone or Muttley the cartoon dog. Which makes the words and feeling of "It's So Hard" so poignant. No mention of Big Pun and his legacy is complete without the sad, shocking and infamous story of him pistol-whipping his wife.

There's no doubt that his brand of catchy, poppy street rap would have propelled him to great success in the 2000s had he lived. He had mainstream appeal, yet was so well thought of by true heads that myths multiplied about rhyme books he left behind. Fat Joe himself was forced to defend himself against allegations that he built his career on ghost-written Pun rhymes on the (sincerely) epic Ja Rule/Fat Joe/Jadakiss track "New York."

There's no doubt that Fat Joe enjoyed a late-career renaissance in the years following his one-time protege's passing. And there's no doubt that every rapper since that has parlayed street cred into mainstream club-bangers owes him a debt.

Bigger Oscar Change Than 10 Best Picture Nomininees.

The Oscar nominations came out this week. The big change this year was to double the amount of nominees to ten. The stated reasons for this change are to improve ratings and to reward more popular fare. The sports analogy would be to increase the amount of playoff teams. Every league has done this to varying degrees of success. The NCAA is currently considering a proposal to expand March Madness to 96 teams.

The risk is losing credibility. An award is only as strong as the respect it carries, lest an Oscar become a Spike TV award. Of course, the Oscars can't have much credibility left after awarding Best Picture to "The Departed." 10 movies are a lot to keep track of and compare to one another. What do "Avatar" and "The Hurt Locker" have in common besides directors who once boned? Seems as if the Golden Globes, in dividing movies into categories, do it better. By doing so, the Globes allow all kinds of movies to get their shine on without having to compare a well-done comedy to a well-done tearjerker to a well-done historical drama. Worth noting that the Oscars have historically completely excluded comedy and action movies.

There's a bigger Oscar change that's been given scant attention. Up till this year, every Academy voter made one choice in each category, the choice with the most votes won. This year, the Best Picture will be chosen by a preferential voting system wherein voters rank their best picture choices from 1 to 10. Under this first-past-the-post system, which is similar to voting in some parliamentary democracies, each movie will be ranked by the number of first-place votes, if one film has more than 50% of the votes in the first round then it is the winner. With 10 choices, this is unlikely, so then the movie with the least first-place votes is tossed and its voters will have their 2nd-place choices redistributed amongst the remaining movies.

Rinse and repeat until one movie gets past 50%. This could create a scenario where a movie wins Best Picture despite not being chosen 1st by the most number of voters. Or, as the LA Times pointed out, a repeat of the 2000 presidential election. Headache.

pics courtesy of Life Magazine

Baseball Hall of Fame Members Should Wear Blank Hats on Their Plaques

 

Lionel Richie played a mean right field.

Andre Dawson will go into the Hall of Fame wearing a Montreal Expo cap, as opposed to his desired Chicago Cub. The 'Spos have one other player in the Hall, Gary Carter. He didn't want to go in as an Expo either, but the Hall of Fame took the choice out of the players' hands a few years back in the wake of rumors that Wade Boggs was willing to take compensation to wear a Tampa Bay Devil Ray cap.

As players from the past 20 years begin to be considered for induction, the cap decision will only get harder. Players like Mike Piazza, Manny Ramirez, and Alex Rodriguez, amongst others, are strongly associated with two teams. Even where the choice is clear, stars change teams far more often than in the past. The only logical step is to have players wear blank caps. Or better yet, no caps at all. In light of some of the more garish modern hats (Blue Jays, Diamondbacks, Devil Rays, Astros and Brewers) it would certainly be more dignified. Moreover, just as players change teams, teams change hats far more often. Several teams wear as many as three different hats. Should Craig Biggio or Jeff Bagwell make the Hall, which of the thirty different hats they wore during their careers in Houston be immortalized on their plaque? Same question for Pudge and the Rangers. NFL Hall of Fame busts don't feature helmets. And, as seen in Joseph Tinker's plaque, not every player goes in wearing a team cap.

Larry from Three's Company

Somewhere, in an alternate universe, Larry from "Three's Company grew older, lost a little hair, got a little more gaunt, got his heart broken for the first and only time and cut this record.

News : Roger Federer is the Greatest Tennis Player of the Open Era; Also, Selleck Waterfall Sandwich.

R-Fedz has repelled wave after wave of challengers to his throne. His streak of semi-final appearances is absurd. Yesterday (I think), Federer repelled the more powerful Andy Murray, shining brightest in an epic third-set tiebreak, prevailing 13-11. The 2010 Aussie Open title is the 16th of his career, the most titles for men in the Open era. He's won on all three surfaces and has won all four Grand Slams. He's defeated many different kinds of players by employing the pin-point-placement artistry of a Greg Maddux. Or perhaps more like Ted Williams, cuz he hits the ball where they aint.

The only disappointment was in seeing the Melbourne crowd and ESPN's announcers get so clearly behind Murray. Rooting for the underdog is a natural inclination. But Federer is the kind of player we only see once in a couple of generations. We should enjoy him while he is here.
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Also, props to Cannatar for finding Selleck Waterfall Sandwich. The anonymous artist behind these masterpieces of modern art should be applauded for staying so dedicated to his vision.

Gary Coleman Arrested; What Would Inspectah Deck Say?

Full props & pounds to Ego Trip for using the same line in one of their classic ads back in the day.

Happy Birthday Coachie!

Lawman Segal Out for Revenge, Donuts

After a hard day of work reading other people's emails, i sought to re-imagine my legal career via Steven Segal's new show, Lawman. While I can get usually my crime fix from MSNBC's "Lockup Raw: Blasted in the Ass by The Really Bad Guys in Indiana State Prison", A&E comes through with the goods on such shows as "The First 48", where hard nosed detectives acquire murder confessions from tweens duly misinformed of their Miranda rights, (by cop shows, natch) and appeals to "do the right thing" regardless of all the wrong that the system has done to them. But outrage soon overtook the gentle dreams that were hovering just out of reach.

When we are introduced to the Lawman, Segal is dressed in full cop regalia with high impact sunglasses, his jowls oozing over his collar. He and about ten cops in unnecessary SUV's drive by some people in the projects. They say "looks like some drug activity going on" (looks like friendly pounds to me) and promptly pull up, flash their lights, declare they smell weed, and cuff a young dunny while hurling harsh accusations. Said dunny gives a false name (the greatest offense of the night) and this predictably angers a cop. Then they look around and see his car nearby. They declare they smell weed and claim they see residue. They search the car throughly, and when they can't open the trunk, they call in a canine, which finds nothing as well. I would imagine a nice apology is in order for the blatant profiling, but instead, they get Lawman all over the innocent kid. They take the poor dood in for an unpaid parking ticket, but with the ominous voiceover music and b&w shots, you'd think he's gettin life. Segal doesn't try to defend the underdog, as his movie personna often does, instead murmuring assent to agressive tactics on innocents and confirming to excited arrestees that he is indeed, Segal. What's next, arresting the cast of the Jersey Shore for aggravated carb use, Bro?

R.I.P. Creepy Lady from Poltergeist.

Zelda Rubenstein, the creepy lady from Poltergeist, has passed away. She was also an early fighter for Aids awareness, featuring in a series of in-your-face ads like the one to the left.

3 Unsurprising Headlines

MetsBlog - John Smoltz Leaning Towards Cardinals
(why would a rational 43-year-old who has already made over $135 million choose the dysfunctional Mets over a clear playoff contender with one of the best pitching coaches in baseball?)

FoxSports - Mets' Problems Go Deeper Than GM Minaya
(the Mets are close to surpassing the Knicks as the worst-run organization in New York. Speaking of the Dolans...)

New York Observer - After Three Months, Only 35 Subscriptions for Newsday's Web Site
(actually, this is surprising - what could have possibly motivated these 35 people to pay for the Newsday website?)

Black and White Photography Master Don McCullin

Not much of a topical hook, but continuing yesterday's theme of incredible photographs here is some of the work of Don McCullin. McCullin is most famous for his war photographs, from Vietnam and from the Middle East in the 1970s. An interesting factoid is that he used very basic equipment, a Nikon 35mm camera, and avoided using a flash, which makes his black and white images all the more powerful.

Ominous Foreshadowing a la Tupac?

 

A gang named the Guv'nors. 

Why OPC needed to build Delta City.

Robinho Leaving Man City for Santos; May Play Against Red Bull New York in New Jersey in March

Got a column up at EPL Talk discussing Robinho's potential move home to Santos in Brazil. Interestingy, Santos is scheduled to play Red Bull New York in March in the opening game of their new stadium in Harrison, New Jersey.

Elegantly Wasted; Photos of Famous Alcoholic Writers

Life Magazine soldiers on in internet form, and remains incredibly valuable for its archives. They began, somewhat recently, to organize some of their photos into interesting sets. One such set is this collection of photos of famous writers who drank famous amounts of booze and tossed off delicious quotes such as "[toss your] balls to the sea.....if you have any balls left," and "[t]o smoke opium is to get off the train while it is still moving." Enjoy.

South Beach Loses Out On Jets Fans Coming to the Super Bowl; also, From West Ham United to West Ham Olympic?

You won't get any expert analysis here. Seemed like the Colts TD at the end of the half was the turning point. Had the chance to go into the half up 17-6. Super bummer. And super bummer for recession-batterered Miami-area restaurants and clubs which no doubt would have preferred an infusion of New York/New Jerz play money rather than a bunch of Hoosiers. Not saying Hoosiers don't party, but bro, let's just say, they don't walk into a club and kill it. 

And while I was rooting for the Saints in the afternoon-cap, that pass interference call in OT was complete nonsense. Forget whether the ball was catchable or not, the dude tripped over himself. Sudden-Death OT is meaningless if a bad call puts a team in figgie pudding range. Hopefully this game becomes the impetus for OT rule changes, at least in the playoffs. Let the opposing team at least get a touch.

Got a piece up at EPL Talk about the new owners of West Ham United and their ambitious plans.