You Know the Motherfuckin situation So Get Down Get Down With the Gangstarr Foundation; Marcus Camby's UMass Appeal

Mass Appeal. Guru R.I.P.

It was 1995 in a Stuy history class that I first thought of an image combining Marcus Camby with "Mass Appeal." Remember UMass' run to the Final Four? No? Neither does the NCAA. Lou Roe don't ya know.

Get Your Own (Your Own) Ya Heard?; Halfway Home and My Pager's Still Blowing Up

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Courtesy of the rapidly-declining A.V. Club comes a mexcellent list of songs about outdated  tekmology.

"Raised as a youth, tell the truth I got the scoop
on how to get a bulletproof, because I jumped from the roof
before I was a teenager, mobile phone, SkyPager
Game rules, I'm livin major..."

-Tupac (He's alive)

Hey, America, You're Fucking Fat, So Eat This Shit

New footlong cheeseburger currently being tested in Santa Ana. Welcome to the O.C., bitch!
Color me....curious.

Proppps to Foodbeast for diving into this piece of schtee.

Jeff Francoeur Can Go Fuck Himself

In response to being demoted to a platoon role, Jeff Francoeur is whining about his playing time and asking to be traded to a team that will play him every day.

Francoeur needs to get realistic.

Out of 27 regular RFs, Jeff Francoeur ranks dead last in OPS, wOBA, EqA, or any other measure of offensive value.
In 2009, he ranked 23rd out of 25 regular RFs.
And in 2008, he ranked last among 22 regular RFs.

Simply put, Jeff Francoeur has been the worst right fielder in baseball for the last 3 seasons by a healthy margin. Instead of complaining about playing time, he should be thanking his lucky stars (or incompetent Mets management) for getting as much playing time as he has.

Big Fucking Pelf or Fuck Big Pelf?

It was, ohhh, about 15 years ago when The Biz, The Miz and I had our infamous debate over 'za and 15 cups of soda in the back of that free refill pizza place by Stuy. The Miz argued that a young stud named Andy Pettitte would turn out better than Jason Isringhausen. -pshaw-Biz and I scoffed. We're still waiting for a good homegrown pitcher, and for that soda to finish working its way through our system.
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Here's a site named The 7 line that will amuse you with Mets-themed shirts.
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Here's the first image from Moneyball;

Insane 80's Japanese Heavy Metal (Is there any other kind?); Steer Clear of the Homicide BBQ; Baseball to the Groin

This is Loudness, a Japanese heavy metal band whose heyday was in the 80s. They feature the fine guitar work of Akira Takasaki, and fuck, it's pure madness.
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The July frost has finally given way to some semblance of summer here in L.A. (breezy and in the 60s!), and with it BBQ season. But you should prolly stay clear of something called the "Homicide BBQ"

(from the L.A. County Sheriff's newsletter):
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Whatever your thoughts on steroids in baseball, I think we're all agreed the game was better off when players looked like this.

Deja Boo for Knicks as Isiah Returns

 Amar'e sprained his wrist after holding up his jersey in this photo. 

 Is the move all that terrible? I'm an Isiah apologist, I know. But Isiah's talents have always been in scouting and finding talent, so if his consultancy role is limited to that, then so what?
Still, the move is indicative of a franchise going nowhere as long as Jimmy "Double Shot" Dolan's still in charge. It's like Frownie sez, it all starts at the top. The rot seeps down to the rest of the franchise. Dolan says Isiah was instrumental in recruiting Amar'e Stoudemire. Over whom? Is there any documentation that Amar'e had any other serious offers? Yet another example of a New York franchise bidding against itself for a past his prime player. But wait! Isiah is one of Chris Paul's idols!

Pleez, if it don't make dollars it don't make sense, and romance without finance is a damn nuisance. Big Daddy Kane would do better in charge.

Any news on the 'Gers?

The Fall and Fall of the Arby's Empire: Or, How Roast Was My Valley; Or Bury My Heart at Big Montana; or A Tale Of Two Loaded Potato Bites; or War and Beef and Cheddar

A peculiar quirk of living out here in the lonesome, crowded west is the daily barrage of shit flyer mail I get, mostly coupons for fast food. Like Juvenile said in Baller Blockin, I'm out the game. And I aint no Corleone, they can't pull me back in. Especially when they offer shit like this from Arby's. Someone took these pictures and thought they looked good? Look at all these sandwiches, none of them look appetizing. Those mozz stixxx look like Wilfred Brimley's bowel movements. Eating the Roast Beef Choice will make the Grail Knight from Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade appear to let you know you've chosen...poorly. There's an Arby's here in Santa Monica, I pass by it sometimes and I always see middle-aged men eating in there alone, no one's ever eating with other people. Like the bus station of the damned.
It's a sad end for chain that's been runnin on empty for more than decade.

 

Castigate the Casting Director?

The Moneyball movie is finally being filmed, so it seems like a good moment to take a look at the cast.

Hard to argue with the choice of Brad Pitt.


The Parks and Rec guy as Scott Hatteberg? Score.


Interesting contrast - Art Howe had the look of a great manager, but was terrible at the job. Philip Seymour Hoffman looks like a schlub, but is a great actor.


I still think this is a practical joke:

Tastes Great, Less Filling. Who the Fuck Cares! Rodney Dangerfield, John Madden, Red Aurebach, Billy Martin, Bubba Smith and a Cavalcade of Stars in 1980s Miller Lite Ads.

Harold Melvin and the Blue Notes; To Be Free To Be Who We Are

Props to Al K. Mza for inspiring this romp through Google Images:

Oh, I'm sorry, what the fuck were you looking at?

Mellow Man Ace will Reward you With Real Hip Hop Blasting Out of Your Speakers Or He May Kill You as his Ad is Vague as To His True Intentions.

"Mellow Man Ace" is a great name. It's got three great words combined together in logical fashion. But his real name is equally awesome, as he's know to the government as Ulpiano Sergio Reyes. Like Y.G. of "Toot it and Boot It" fame, Mellow also calls L.A. Los Skandalous, which is awful. But veering back to props, my man Mellow rides the L.A. subway. From the side he looks like Guru, R.I.P.
Sadly, Mellow Man Ace was an o.g. member of Cypress Hill but left before they hit it big, so, like Harold Melvin sans the Blue Notes, he never went platinum. I spotted this poster all over Venice, and now it is for you to enjoy.

Hot Photo Monday

Mondays are not for deep thought, they are for absorbing the first shocks of the week with as little thought as possible. What better distraction then, than hot photos? Peep and Persevere, Dunnies.

First up, Broadway Joe and O.J., with nary a Suzy K. to disrupt the convo. Best caption wins a Shea Hey no-prize:

 On the more serious tip, I implore you to peep this link from the Denver Post featuring pristine quality color photos from the early 1940s. I've never seen photos this old of this high quality, it's definitely a trip to see such lifelike images of such a bygone age. via the always amazing uniwatch as usual. Here's a sample.

Stickball Stickball Field; More Radio Bangers "Toot It and Boot It" and "Teach Me How to Dougie" Hey LeBron Knows What's Up

 Stallone is fucking ready to DEVOUR a ground ball. 

These shots are from this past July 4th at a very decent Manhattan yard by the United Nations that Al K. Mza's cleverly christened "Stickball Stickball Field" in honor of former UN head Boutros Boutros Ghali. My runner-up name is "The Polio Grounds," as it is FDR Drive adjacent. Mza was the deserving winner. In the game I was the deserving loser to Biz, but only cuz of walks. Walks are outdated, L.A. way all the way.
We also kept score via the IPad, it was genuinely cool and convenient. These pics should feature in an ad in some manner.
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Very silly controversy over at Espn as they yanked a story about LeG.O.D.D.'s Vegas partying shortly after posting it. Can LeBron live? Can he live??? So he partied, did it up, did it up. The highlight of the story was the dance-off betwixt Bron-Bron and Lamar "I Picked the Wrong Sister" Odom. Video footage would be priceless. The story in full is here.

"Teach Me How to Dougie," by the pooooorly-named California Swag District, is currently Coachette's #1 jam, followed closely by YG's (Young G?) "Toot it and Boot it." The drum loop in "Dougie" is other-wordly hypnotic, a livened-up 3-6 style. Both jammies are 80's throwbacks, and follow the leader, last year's super-banger "You're a Jerk (I know)" by the New Boyz.



By the way, YG is not from L.A., he's from Kompton/Los Skandless.

The beauty of the 80s coming back in fashion is that, with the hindsight of 20 years, today's youth can pick-and-choose only the good bits. Sort of like how in the 70's, the 50's came back in fashion, with movies like "American Graffiti," shows like "Happy Days" and punk rockers wearing cuffed jeans, white t's and leather jackets.

In the 90's we had to endure girls wearing their hair up, rocking Timbos, baggy jeans, and hoodies. In many ways, the 90's were a pop culture wasteland. Peep the outfits YG rocks in the vid, today's youth have it better. Which flies in the face of one of Dr. Miz' most famous theories.

Booby Bowl I; An Awfully Adorable Invincible Iron Man Hat; The Far East Movement's ode to the Pontiac G6

With the skies overcast and a brisk breeze blowing through Los Angeles (it's fucking cold!) this past Sunday was oddly perfect weather to play the long-overdue Booby aka International Football aka Fly Football championship, things were going swimmingly until an errant pass from yours truly severely sprained the finger of my teammate, Rex Volcanoe. He had to pop the sucker back into place. And that was that, handing the default victory to B-Town and Coachette and the official D, 7-5 winners in the first game and up 3-2 in the second.
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A most adorably rad hat. Unbearably cute even.

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Were you aware that the Pontiac G6 was an ill car? I wasn't. A bunch of wannabe Black-Eyed Peas called The Far East Movement are blowing up the airwaves with "Like a G6." I'm mildly offended that they name-check Three-Six, but that beat tho...sheeeet.

A New Challenger for World's Greatest Penalty Kick; and A Perfect Summary of Why Citi Field is a bumout.

Not so much the greatest penalty kick but the natural evolution of where the shot should go. Are you going left or right? An effective fake-out combined with the ability to shoot with either foot is deadly, as evidenced here.

Of course, penalties would be a lot more entertaining if this completely ballsy move by legend Johan Cruyff could be pulled off more often.
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A lot has been said on the overall -meh-that is Citi Field. Suffice it to say, for all its problems, it's biggest problem, for me, is that the building of a new stadium was the Mets one big chance to have a permanent one-up on the Yankees, after all we could never have a one-up on the actual field of play but why not have a better stadium? They blew it. Cue Robert De Niro.  

Anyway, here's Greg Prince of the mexcellent Faith and Fear expressing that missed opportunity very well.

 Hey, I can't see home plate! And why the fuck is there a bridge in the outfield? Is this Houston?

What's tackier, neon ballplayers on your facade or giant ads?