Stay Classy, Don Sterling, Also The Clippers Just Took Some Ecstasy (Aint no tellin what the side effects will be); Morever, Michael Cage is a Handsome Man; Finally Darius Miles proves Motorhead right in that the Chase is Better Than the Catch.

Not the same ecstasy that Dr. Dre took. Ecstasy is defined as fighting for the 9 place in the crowded west. The Lake Show, the Spurs, the Dunn-der, the Utah Mountain People, The Nuggs, the Blazzze, the Mav-Nots, the Dunns, plus the Hornets, the Rockets and the Grizzz, where exactly to the Clips fit into this picture?

Better view of the new Clippers unis, why is the wordmark so low on the jersey??

 Just let your soul. glow.

The NBA should have created a three-on-three halfcourt league for players like Darius Miles who clearly had skillz that needed to be seen and showcased, just not skillz that worked in the NBA

Big League Whiffleball Awesome Show Great Job!

 Ill pitching, check out the video on ESPN. Far more impressive is their strike zone. Imagine if we had one of those for sticks! It would open up a plethora of new fields to play on. Sadly, they don't offer one for sale on their web site, Big League Whiffleball, offering instead some ugly t-shirts. I suppose we could build one ourselves, but we are far removed from our physics days, what thickness and what material would be needed to stand up to the abuse of a steady diet of bizman fastballs?

The Los Angeles Clippers: A Tradition of Excellence (Not!)

I'm no simile sexpert but I don't think of dunks as "fast." As in, man, that Shawn Kemp sure dunked the ball swiftly! Monstrous, sure. Barbaric, yes. Yamtastic, indeed. And please, please, please watch this Shawn Kemp Reebok commercial. I imagine Clippers tix are moving as swiftly as Tree Rollins defending Kemp in this clip.Also, has Griffy-Griff even dunked the ball for the Paper Clips in a game yet?

Don Sterling comes off seeming surprising funny in this surprisingly decent L.A. Times column by hack T.J. Simers. Good reading. We can only dream of having the kind of lucci that let's us pay a men like Ryan Gomes and Randy Foye millions and then say, ""If I really called the shots we wouldn't have signed Gomes and what's the other guy's name?"

And the new Clippers road uni and logo. Still biting the Lakers with that logo, and the usual extraneous modern-NBA piping on the sides.

You Know the Motherfuckin situation So Get Down Get Down With the Gangstarr Foundation; Marcus Camby's UMass Appeal

Mass Appeal. Guru R.I.P.

It was 1995 in a Stuy history class that I first thought of an image combining Marcus Camby with "Mass Appeal." Remember UMass' run to the Final Four? No? Neither does the NCAA. Lou Roe don't ya know.

Get Your Own (Your Own) Ya Heard?; Halfway Home and My Pager's Still Blowing Up

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Courtesy of the rapidly-declining A.V. Club comes a mexcellent list of songs about outdated  tekmology.

"Raised as a youth, tell the truth I got the scoop
on how to get a bulletproof, because I jumped from the roof
before I was a teenager, mobile phone, SkyPager
Game rules, I'm livin major..."

-Tupac (He's alive)

Hey, America, You're Fucking Fat, So Eat This Shit

New footlong cheeseburger currently being tested in Santa Ana. Welcome to the O.C., bitch!
Color me....curious.

Proppps to Foodbeast for diving into this piece of schtee.

Jeff Francoeur Can Go Fuck Himself

In response to being demoted to a platoon role, Jeff Francoeur is whining about his playing time and asking to be traded to a team that will play him every day.

Francoeur needs to get realistic.

Out of 27 regular RFs, Jeff Francoeur ranks dead last in OPS, wOBA, EqA, or any other measure of offensive value.
In 2009, he ranked 23rd out of 25 regular RFs.
And in 2008, he ranked last among 22 regular RFs.

Simply put, Jeff Francoeur has been the worst right fielder in baseball for the last 3 seasons by a healthy margin. Instead of complaining about playing time, he should be thanking his lucky stars (or incompetent Mets management) for getting as much playing time as he has.

Big Fucking Pelf or Fuck Big Pelf?

It was, ohhh, about 15 years ago when The Biz, The Miz and I had our infamous debate over 'za and 15 cups of soda in the back of that free refill pizza place by Stuy. The Miz argued that a young stud named Andy Pettitte would turn out better than Jason Isringhausen. -pshaw-Biz and I scoffed. We're still waiting for a good homegrown pitcher, and for that soda to finish working its way through our system.
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Here's a site named The 7 line that will amuse you with Mets-themed shirts.
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Here's the first image from Moneyball;

Insane 80's Japanese Heavy Metal (Is there any other kind?); Steer Clear of the Homicide BBQ; Baseball to the Groin

This is Loudness, a Japanese heavy metal band whose heyday was in the 80s. They feature the fine guitar work of Akira Takasaki, and fuck, it's pure madness.
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The July frost has finally given way to some semblance of summer here in L.A. (breezy and in the 60s!), and with it BBQ season. But you should prolly stay clear of something called the "Homicide BBQ"

(from the L.A. County Sheriff's newsletter):
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Whatever your thoughts on steroids in baseball, I think we're all agreed the game was better off when players looked like this.

Deja Boo for Knicks as Isiah Returns

 Amar'e sprained his wrist after holding up his jersey in this photo. 

 Is the move all that terrible? I'm an Isiah apologist, I know. But Isiah's talents have always been in scouting and finding talent, so if his consultancy role is limited to that, then so what?
Still, the move is indicative of a franchise going nowhere as long as Jimmy "Double Shot" Dolan's still in charge. It's like Frownie sez, it all starts at the top. The rot seeps down to the rest of the franchise. Dolan says Isiah was instrumental in recruiting Amar'e Stoudemire. Over whom? Is there any documentation that Amar'e had any other serious offers? Yet another example of a New York franchise bidding against itself for a past his prime player. But wait! Isiah is one of Chris Paul's idols!

Pleez, if it don't make dollars it don't make sense, and romance without finance is a damn nuisance. Big Daddy Kane would do better in charge.

Any news on the 'Gers?

The Fall and Fall of the Arby's Empire: Or, How Roast Was My Valley; Or Bury My Heart at Big Montana; or A Tale Of Two Loaded Potato Bites; or War and Beef and Cheddar

A peculiar quirk of living out here in the lonesome, crowded west is the daily barrage of shit flyer mail I get, mostly coupons for fast food. Like Juvenile said in Baller Blockin, I'm out the game. And I aint no Corleone, they can't pull me back in. Especially when they offer shit like this from Arby's. Someone took these pictures and thought they looked good? Look at all these sandwiches, none of them look appetizing. Those mozz stixxx look like Wilfred Brimley's bowel movements. Eating the Roast Beef Choice will make the Grail Knight from Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade appear to let you know you've chosen...poorly. There's an Arby's here in Santa Monica, I pass by it sometimes and I always see middle-aged men eating in there alone, no one's ever eating with other people. Like the bus station of the damned.
It's a sad end for chain that's been runnin on empty for more than decade.

 

Castigate the Casting Director?

The Moneyball movie is finally being filmed, so it seems like a good moment to take a look at the cast.

Hard to argue with the choice of Brad Pitt.


The Parks and Rec guy as Scott Hatteberg? Score.


Interesting contrast - Art Howe had the look of a great manager, but was terrible at the job. Philip Seymour Hoffman looks like a schlub, but is a great actor.


I still think this is a practical joke:

Tastes Great, Less Filling. Who the Fuck Cares! Rodney Dangerfield, John Madden, Red Aurebach, Billy Martin, Bubba Smith and a Cavalcade of Stars in 1980s Miller Lite Ads.

Harold Melvin and the Blue Notes; To Be Free To Be Who We Are

Props to Al K. Mza for inspiring this romp through Google Images:

Oh, I'm sorry, what the fuck were you looking at?

Mellow Man Ace will Reward you With Real Hip Hop Blasting Out of Your Speakers Or He May Kill You as his Ad is Vague as To His True Intentions.

"Mellow Man Ace" is a great name. It's got three great words combined together in logical fashion. But his real name is equally awesome, as he's know to the government as Ulpiano Sergio Reyes. Like Y.G. of "Toot it and Boot It" fame, Mellow also calls L.A. Los Skandalous, which is awful. But veering back to props, my man Mellow rides the L.A. subway. From the side he looks like Guru, R.I.P.
Sadly, Mellow Man Ace was an o.g. member of Cypress Hill but left before they hit it big, so, like Harold Melvin sans the Blue Notes, he never went platinum. I spotted this poster all over Venice, and now it is for you to enjoy.

Hot Photo Monday

Mondays are not for deep thought, they are for absorbing the first shocks of the week with as little thought as possible. What better distraction then, than hot photos? Peep and Persevere, Dunnies.

First up, Broadway Joe and O.J., with nary a Suzy K. to disrupt the convo. Best caption wins a Shea Hey no-prize:

 On the more serious tip, I implore you to peep this link from the Denver Post featuring pristine quality color photos from the early 1940s. I've never seen photos this old of this high quality, it's definitely a trip to see such lifelike images of such a bygone age. via the always amazing uniwatch as usual. Here's a sample.