You Think This Is The Real Hauser?

It is.

I Didn't Know It Was Like That

Click on the pic for some cool, sometimes strange, rarely seen celebrity photos. As for the pic itself, yes, that is Sean Connery, and no, I have no words.

The Greatest April Fool's Day Pranks of All Time

 Some amazing stuff from around the web today, including the Santa Monica Daily Press announcing that legal gambling was coming to Los Angeles in the form of gambling boats that would dock at the Santa Monica pier then head out into international waters. (Maybe they would see Drederick Tatum fighting a horse).

The Guardian came through with this excellent fake campaign ad for UK Prime Minister Gordon Brown.

 And then there is this excellent roundup of the Greatest April Fool's Day Hoaxes of All Time, including Sports Illustrated's tale of Mets phenom prospect Sidd Finch, (which in a way seems like how Mets management feels eternally optimistic about Oliver Perez); Taco Bell's announcement that they had bought sponsorship rights to the Liberty Bell, Burger King's prank where they told people the Whopper wasn't available and they freaked, an Australian prank where they announced they would be converting to "metric time,"and one that Jay Leno would love, an Kokomo, Indiana report that its police station would close between 6pm and 6am and take messages in the interim.

David Moyes and Roberto Mancini Fight During Man City-Everton Match

Created this image to go along with a fine piece by Jesse Chula over at EPL Talk.

In looking for source material I came across this amusing vintage boxing poster. With those sublime looks on their faces they are either ready to duke it out or make out with each other.

Nets Defeat Spurs to Avoid Tying All-Time NBA Loss Record Set by the Sixers

13,000 (announced) maniacs sat in the IZOD Center and watched the Nets down the Spurs for their 10th win of the year with which the team avoided becoming the losingest team in NBA history. What a proper year it's been for the Nets, no better way to say goodbye to the Brendan Byrne/Continental Airlines/Izod Arena/Center.

Long will Coups, Biz, Boomz, and myself remember traffic-clogged treks through the Lincoln Tunnel, frigid sprints through the parking lot, tyrannical ushers enforcing rules of decorum in a half-filled arena, Sir-Slam-A-Lot, One Horse Open Tamar Slay, the very-well designed (sincerely) concourse and seating bowl (one stair case goes up and one stair case goes down versus the MSG 12 escalator Mt. Everest climb and claustrophobic hallways that seem to narrow and shorten in height, reminiscent of the ones Springfield builds for Ned Flanders).

And of course, the retired banners for Bruce Springsteen and Beppo the Clown.

Paul Lukas ESPN Column on Vintage Ticket Stubs

"Mommy, why is Mr. Met Crying?" From Paul Lukas' latest ESPN column.

Insanity Masters and Sexy People, Two Dope Pop Culture Photo Blogs

This is what the internet is best at, delivering ill photos of ill people doing ill things. Nothing like this was available before the internet, save occasional forays into the daunting stacks of the leather-bound collections of old magazines (including Playboy--but with the photos snipped) of the Mid-Manhattan Library.
Two great photo blogs for your amusement, Insanity Masters and Sexy People. (Earth People, I was Born On Jupiter). Keep on doing G.O.D.D.'s work.

Waitaminnit, This One Might Be Better

Vinsanity Jr.

Weekend Update

Tuff weekend for your boy Coachie. Got called out as "Luis Scola" on the b-ball courts on Thursday. Got whipped in handball on Saturday morning in Venice 7-3. Got whipped in stickball on Saturday afternoon in Santa Monica 5-1, then got whipped in tennis 6-0, 6-4 on Sunday morning in Marina Del Rey. Capped off by a 4-1 whipping in foosball in Simi Valley Sunday night.

   

Spotted in Downtown L.A. Friday Afternoon. E-Z solution to California's budget crisis, quintuple the vanity plate fees, these assholes will still pay.

Afro-Mullet? Check.
Jose Canseco-style shades circa 1988? Check.
Tight black t-shirt? Check.
Sucked-in beer gut? Check.
Shapeless K-Mart Jeans? Check.
Crisp white sneakers? Check.
Authoritative strut across the park? Check.
Yup, Dad's ready for another Little League Season.

(Spotted in Los Amig-Bro Park in Santa Monica, CA on Saturday afternoon)

Jozin z Bazin; Jesus is a Friend of Mine; Sonseed; Urvasi Urvasi, getting Rick Roll'd.

Traveling the globe for entertaining clips:
First up, from South India (possibly Sri Lankan); featuring some of the illest dancing this side of prime Michael Jackson, prime Usher and parkour:

Next up, some Czech (but possibly Slovakian) schtee reminiscent of Andy Kaufman, musty suits and mustier beards.

and finally, America's Funniest Home Video-style ska combined with some serious love for the Man Above:

St. John's Season, and Anthony Mason Jr.'s career, ends in NIT loss to Memphis (Hopefully Norm Roberts gets fied too)

At least Mase, Jr. went out a-blazin; looking good with the mini-eraser head that's making a strong comeback this year with Baron Davis and Brandon Jennings leading the way.  On the free throw line needing two to tie with 30 seconds left, Anthony Mason, Jr. bricked the first. But he came right back on their next possession, banging a three from Beale Street to tie the game in Memphis. But then Wesley Witherspoon made an impossible layup, he drove the lane, went too far, threw it up as he fell out of bounds, it bounced high off the glass then off the rim then in as time expired; ending another disappointing year for St. John's and ending Anthony Mason, Jr.'s collegiate career.

The chapter should soon be closing on Head Coach Norm Roberts, who has enjoyed but two winning seasons out of six and only this year did the team reach the NIT. Many say Roberts has brought credibility back to the program. But for a Big East school with a powerful recruiting base in the area's parochial schools, making it as far as the NIT should be a given year-in-year-out. 6 years and one NIT appearance speaks for itself. Peace.

As for the NIT itself, I cannot fathom any argument to abolish it in favor of an expanded field. Frownie was there with me as we stormed the court for St. John's' 2004 NIT title. I'd rather peep my team win an NIT over bow out in the first round any day.

And now the payoff, pics of Anthony Mason, Jr. and his pops.

Damn, before young Mase shaved the dreads he looked like Weezy.

Live.........from Daryl Hall's House (but what about John Oates?)

 If you're stressed the f out, then chill the f out with Daryl Hall. The magic of his poppy voice is matched only by the magic of Internet technology that allows us to jam with him in his own him! Truth in advertising, it's called Live From Daryl's House. Mellow vibes, mellow melodies, mellow guests, mellow beaches, mellow tuneskis, everything's mellow except Daryl's hair. Aint nothing mellow about those silky strands of pure sex. Enjoy your stay, just don't go in the basement.

Meanwhile, where the fuck is Oates? Out of touch, out of time.

When Knicks-Nets Meant Something

Coach Scotty Brooks and Sam I Am watch in amazement as Coach Herbie Williams valiantly attempts to convert a finger roll. Judging by the talent on the floor, this must have been some game.

Film Footage of a Man Drinking a Beer in 1897; and Lazertits!

Now that's Old Man Beers.

Also, a great tumblr site called Lazertits. Truth in advertising. Showing the power of a clever concept, access to vintage 70's photographs, and photoshop.

New Futures Exchange Allows Investors to Invest in Movie Futures, short v long

Think "A-Team" is going to bomb? Think "Hot Tub Time Machine" will be a down-low hit? Knew all along that "Alice in Wonderland" would have the biggest opening ever? Now you can put your mozzarellll where your mouth is. Two new futures exchanges, one from Cantor Fitzgerald in NY and the other from a startup called Veriana Networks will soon debut that will allow studios to spread the risk that their movie will tank while allowing alternative forms of finance to flow into independent studios struggling to make their pictures. As reported in full by the LA Times.

Of course, what can go wrong when product producers become attenuated from the risks inherent to their business? Never get high when you got no supply.

That's Just Not Fair.

Coachie has reminded us of the glory of Vinsanity ballin' Freddy Weiss, but here's a mystery gem- this unfortunate dude is getting kneed/mooned while Carter is in an absolutely amazing position for a dunk. How are his legs like that? How high is he (maan)?


And, um, this one just looks silly. What I wouldn't give...

Rare video footage of Babe Ruth playing baseball, also, Efforts to Map London, also subway maps

 Two amazing links in the Uniwatchblog ticker today. The first is super-rare footage of Babe Ruth getting hit by a pitch. Not sure exactly how much film exists of the Babe in action, so this is super-cool to see. Here is the link.

Also, an interesting/nerdy series in Slate magazine exploring signage and navigation in big cities. Kind of a poor start with a Penn Station piece, and then a better one on attempts to make useful maps of London for pedestrians. New York has a subway map that is also useful as a general map of NYC (despite its skewed orientation (and the flip side showing the regional train map is fantastic). Chicago's El map is somewhat useful for getting around town, but their system is relatively uncomplicated. (also, the trains are super slow). London, famously, has a post-modern tube map that is generally useless for navigating the city above. The planners are hoping that better signage will encourage more walking and thus remove stress on the tube system.

Then there is Los Angeles. Feast your eyes on the area's utterly insane bus+train map. The buses out here are actually pretty good, provided you only travel in a straight line. L.A.'s actually an easy city to navigate, what with the major boulevards running from the ocean eastward to downtown, major avenues running from the hills southward to the ports,  and the odd-numbered north-south freeways and the even-numbered east-west freeways. Of course, it's always depressing to see old train/trolley maps of L.A., with lines going everywhere, serving the whole region before being torn up in the 1950s. Then again, if L.A. actually had a functional and useful subway system it would instantly become the greatest city in the world and become more crowded than it already is so...

Swish.

Ainge and Thunder Dan in the same backcourt in Live 95? To quote Denzel in Virtuosity, "Game ovah."

Notre Dame AD Admits NCAA Athletics is a Business

Notre Dame AD Jack Swarbrick let slip this telling quote in discussing potential conference realignments, ""I've been around this business for 29 years and this is as unstable as I've ever seen it." A business with unpaid employees, what a concept!

The Pac-10 is exploring the addition of two teams, while the Big Ten is looking for its 12th member. Once at 12 teams, the Pac-10 and Big Ten could have conference championship games in football. Remember kids, we can't have a playoff in college football because adding games would rob student-athletes of school time (never mind that the playoffs would take place over Christmas/New Year's). How can they justify adding a conference championship in early December, when most schools are in finals? The mind spins.

Let's hope Ed O'Bannon is successful in his lawsuit against the NCAA for the uncompensated use of his likeness in video games.