Vintage New York City Stickball Photos

Vintage both in age and in the Bizman's gussying up of them in photoshop. The Schoolhouse one is amazing.

I shaved

Once I realized I would never reach this level (Beach Boys bumout) my beard came right off:

One day.

Welcome to the Terrordo----errr, Shea Dome

 From the always-excellent Uniwatchblog.com, the mid-1960s proposal to turn Shea Stadium into a dome. Would have been super-strange. And considering how poorly domes across the country aged, could have hastened Shea's replacement. Thankfully, many powerful people rose up in opposition to the plan, including William A. Shea himself, based mainly on the argument that the baseball fan deserves to watch a game in the fresh air.
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What's the over/under on Johan Santana's win total this year? 13?
I can picture the scene last night in Santana's hotel room.
3AM. Tossing and turning. Can't get the thought of staying in Minnesota out of his head. Competing for a title every year. Wasting the tail end of his prime and beyond on an embarrassment of a team. He turns to his left he sees Virgil. He turns to his right, Ted DiBiase. He bolts out of bed, runs to the bathroom to splash water on his face, he looks up into the mirror and sees Bone Thugs N Harmony singing ominously, "Foe da love of money."
He calls Beltran, first thing they exclaim in unison, "You had the same dream?!?!?"

This Time We're Gonna Win

(Would have embedded this, but it cut off the right side, and it deserves better.)

Killin's as easy as breathin'.

Awesome Wedding DJ Gets Super-Down with Phil Collins

When you're feeling it, you're feeling it.

Don Fabio Capello and the Return of Jose Mourinho in Puppet Form

Got this image posted at eplTalk.com today in a piece by Jesse Chula about England's World Cup squad selection.

Also, absolutely fantastic news reported by eplTalk that "Special 1 TV" featuring Jose Mourinho, Wayne Rooney and Sven Goran-Eriksson in puppet form hosting an absurd talk show, is returning with new episodes this summer. Puppets make me laugh, going back to the days of "Spitting Image."

Basement Jaxx "Where's Yoru Head At?" Sample of Gary Newman "M.E."

Color me naive, but I'm always shocked when to hear the source sample of ill beats. Always figured more work went into it than just speeding it up and fucking with the EQ (whatever that is, but apparently Dre broke new ground with EQ on "Aint Nuthing but A G Thang")
Here's Gary Numan's "M.E." the source for the massive Basement Jaxx banger "Where's Your Head At?" The breakbeat is the essence of hip-hop while the bass is stone cold.

Beautiful But Mandatory New New York State License Plate

It's been a general downhill slide for New York State license plates, from the simple orange-with-blue lettering of the late 70's/80's to the white-with-Statue-of-Liberty-in-the-middle of the 90's to the bland hard-to-see montage/mish-mash of images that's in current use.

New York State is now forcibly fazing in these beauties over the next two years. The color scheme is a tad-off, looking more like West Virginia or Michigan, but the use of color is heartily applauded, nothing is more anonymous or bland on the road than white.

Of course, this being New York State, the plate's introduction is being used as an excuse for revenue generation. In a time of great economic duress, rising taxes and fees, all drivers will be required to purchase the new plates when their registration comes up, with an extra fee to keep your current number. Stay Classy, Governor Shelly Sil---er, Patterson.

Download Free World Cup eBook featuring Simon Kuper, Tommy Smyth, Rebecca Lowe and others

 Including cover artwork by yours truly. Free downloadable e-book available at eplTalk.com
Remember,

Ron Isley and Keith Sweat Mother's Day in el Bronx, Drogba and Ronaldo are Hottt in Vanity Fair, and UK Tory Leader David Cameron Looks Like a Fish in a Condom

Putting the Va-Va-Voom back in Va-Va-Various. More Rando than Rondo. Disparate Delights.
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First up, good to see that disrespected and unappreciated legend Ron "Mr. Biggs" Isley is out of prison and back performing. He'll be bringing it this Mother's Day Sunday alongside Keith "Let's" Sweat at the Paradise Theater on the Grand Concourse in the Boogie Down Bronx. Frankly, Isley & Sweat deserve to be crooning their bangers somewhere more bigtime, but hey:

Who can love you like me? (nobody) Who can sex you like me? (nobody) Who can treat you like me now, baby (nobody) Nobody, baby (nobody) And who can do it like me? (nobody) And who can give you what you need? (nobody) Who can do you all night long? (nobody) Nobody, baby (nobody)

And if you need to chill the fuck out on a Friday afternoon, here's Ron, Ernie (the master) and the rest of the Bros. taking you on a Voyage to Atlantis. Just wait for that opening riff. Wait for it.....there it is....ahhhhhh....

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 Speaking of ahhhhh, here's the new Vanity Fair. Didier Drogba and Cristiano Ronaldo, letting it all hang out. Helllllloooooo, Sailor! Quite the contrast here. Drogba, frankly, looks uncomfortable, maybe cuz his Frank isn't up Ronadlo's Portuguese  Pepperoni. Poor job by VF here. With this kinda manmeat they could have produced some real amazing pics. But the lack of context, gray drapes in a studio with two studs wearing briefs/70's swimtrunks, makes the whole shebang cheap and contrived. Get them poolside!

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 The U.K. held their election on Thursday. Two things to admire about their system; the campaign lasted 4 weeks and third parties, as well as fourth and fifth, actually have a say. Worth mentioning again that almost every democracy in the world is a parliamentary democracy. It's just us and Mexico enjoying our State rights. Fuck Thomas Jefferson. Alexander Hamilton gave us the Post, 'nuff said. 

Anyhoo, in the UK, no party achieved a majority, resulting in a "Hung Parliament." Raunchy. 

The Conservatives are led by David Cameron, a slimy, P.R.-created modern machine. A cartoonist named Steve Bell savaged Cameron with this cartoon, comparing him to a fish wrapped in a condom:

 

Starting Lineup NFL Action Figures

Submit nicknames better than Offerballs, win a No-Prize.

 Even Mini-Bernie's plastic dome is greasy. The dude in the middle looks like Bob Golic from Saved by the Bell. Maybe it is.

Ingenious Insurance Scheme for Paris Metro Fare Beaters; Lignes gratuites

The fine for evading the fare on Paris' Metro system is 72 euros, or around $94. Methods include jumping high to tap an exit sensor, slipping in behind paying custies (suckers), or good old-fashioned turnstile hopping. Some smart Parisienne hustling monsieurs ("I, how you say, stay on my grizz-lay") have banded together to put together an insurance scheme. Each member chips in around $7 beans a month, should that member get busted, his fine is covered in full.

Sure beats having to pretend one is taking a gnarly dump on the LIRR like some fine-feathered members of our croo.

Then there is L.A., which all but begs you to not pay. You see, there are turnstiles, but they are not locked. You may enter as you please. One must have a ticket on you at all times and be prepared to show a valid ticket if asked by a random inspector on the rails. But as Coups and I learned after a looooong day of subway travel in and around downtown L.A., aint no one getting all up in your bizness asking for no papers. This aint Arizona. 

Hey Who Dat Is?

I bet that's just my baby daddy.
(This can never be posted enough.)

Trey Songz Blowing Up the Radio with "Say Ahh" and "I Invented Sex"

Like Uatu the Watcher it is only my duty to observe, not judge or interfere. So I must report that Trey Songz aka Radio Killer aka Trigga is absolutely blowing shit up right now, dominating the airwaves with 2 str8 club-bangrrrz simultaneously, "Say Aaaah" and "I invented Sex."

Lyrics worthy of a Sam Boomz in his prime:

Go girl its ya birthday
Open wide I know you're thirsty
Say ahhh  (hey)
Say ahhh
And we don't buy no drinks at the bar
Pop champagne cause we got that dough
Let me hear you say ahhh

Shorty dance like a video vixen
Said her man be on that bullshit pimpin
Well I retired from the bull like Pippen
Try to get you home or would you be Marge Simpson
Whip out front we can leave like pronto
Maple leave glass got you feeling like Toronto
Make your body rise like your puffing on a joint though
Girl that's only if you want tho
Since we in the club for now
Might as well get another round
I notice it aint nothing in your cup
So get here baby let me fill it up
Also, here's a blind G named "Arnauz" who looks like Levar Burton from "Star Trek: The Next Generation" and "Reading Rainbow" interpreting the genius of Trey Songz via Yamaha keyboard. 

FOX Baseball Blackout Policy is Foul and Depraved.

L.A. Stickball Opening day 2010 got off to a late start this past Saturday as Coachette, Coups and myself attended the Lincecum stifling of the Dodgers in the early afternoon. What began with bemusement at seeing the 0-0 Mets-Cards score on Dodger Stadium's incredibly janky O.O.T.S. (out-of-town scoreboard) turned into confused horror as we checked the blackberry for updates betwixt sticks at-bats.

After I suffered a 1-0 loss in 7 we rushed to a sports bar, the lovely Sports Harbour in MDR to catch the game. Tv's everywhere, showing only K.G. throwing bows and Kings-'Nucks. I meekly asked the bar wench to put on FOX and was met with confused stares as a Married.....with Children episode was on. Patiently, she scrolled through all the MLB Extra Innings and even the MLB mix channel before it dawned on Coups......the game was blacked out in L.A.!! The long-over Dodgers-Giants was the regional FOX game, which precluded the Mets-Cards epic from being shown anywhere out hrrr. So even subscribers who had shelled out for the MLB Extra Innings package in L.A. couldn't watch!

If Coups and I had gone back to my place after sticks we could have easily caught the game on any number of shady streams. (one of which infected my computer thus forcing me to write this post from Coachette's Macbook complete with lack of right mouse click -ugh-). But still, if you can't catch a regular season game in a bar in the 21st century well, then I don't know what to say about your sport.

Ike Davis is the next Pedro Martinez?

Baseball America ranked Ike Davis #62 on its 2010 Top 100 Prospect list.

Without commentary, I present the #62's from each of BA's previous lists:

Gorkys Hernandez, of, Braves
Carlos Triunfel ss, Mariners
Jeff Clement, c, Mariners
Troy Patton, lhp, Astros
James Loney, 1b, Dodgers
Bobby Jenks rhp, Angels
Clint Everts, rhp, Expos
Brad Wilkerson, of, Expos
Alex Cintron, ss, Diamondbacks
Pablo Ozuna, 2b/ss, Marlins
Junior Herndon, rhp, Padres
Damian Jackson, ss, Reds
Ben Petrick, c, Rockies
Mike Drumright, rhp, Tigers
Ron Villone, lhp, Mariners
Kurt Miller, rhp, Marlins
Pedro Martinez, rhp, Dodgers
Alex Gonzalez, ss, Blue Jays
Carlos Garcia, ss, Pirates
Wilfredo Cordero, ss, Expos

Chillaxin After A Tuff Day

Props to this tumblr site featuring my mans and them.

The Hammock District

It's on 3rd. Couldn't stop in- may not have made it out.

The Bridge Is Over

I transport more weight than the Florida Keys.

New York Mets Uniform Changes for 2011

 MetsBlog and Uniwatch reported that the Mets are considering removing the piping from their jerseys for 2011. Took a stab at envisioning what they would look like sans blue piping. Meh.