Thursday, December 09, 2010

This is Los Angeles

Some photos from when S-Booms was in town.



Those aren't little rocks, those are surfers. Bananas. Off the coast of Palos Verdes.

Fuck your dream.


When nothing less will do.

Coincidentally, 2 minutes is how fast you will feel like shit after eating a combo Wingworks/KFC meal.




At Cole's French Dip downtown.



Ride or Die. You love it. We live it.

A man on the make. A man on the move.

Monday, December 06, 2010

Fade into Bolivia: The Shea Hey Obscurity Department--A Column on Qatar 2022 and Ashes Images for the Cricket Sadists' Quarterly


Got a column up at WorldCupBuzz.com on Qatar hosting the 2022 World Cup.

As you are all aware, England and Australia are currently battling it out down under for the Ashes, the most beautiful and meaningful trophy in sports. After five scintillating days, the first test ended in a draw (how's that for a payoff), and the second test ends today (maybe another draw!). I've had some images included in the new issue of Cricket Sadists' Quarterly, the excellent magazine put out by Jarrod Kimber, the man behind Cricketwithballs.com. The new issue of Cricket Sadists' Quarterly is available for sale here, in print form or as a downloadable e-book. But if you want it, holla at me for a copy. The images I made are below.

Thursday, December 02, 2010

Wednesday, December 01, 2010

Did Matt Groening Take the Name 'Homer Simpson' From Nathanael West's novel "Day of the Locusts?"

Considering the many high-falutin' references in "The Simpsons" over the years, it can't be mere coincidence that bumbling oaf Homer Simpson shares the name of the naive Midwestern Homer Simpson in Nathanael West's 1939 novel "Day of the Locusts." It's a good one too, as is his other major work, "Miss Lonelyhearts."
In 1975, a movie was made of "Day of the Locusts," and Donald Sutherland played Homer, it's a ridiculous trailer. 

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

For All The Schtee In the World (Randoms From the Vault)

A very metal photo.

Impressive, if not overly accurate.

There's a lot wrong with this picture, the least of which is the pink towel. 
 The O.G. Genesis of Smoovy Suav/Suavy Smoov
And finally, just a happy reminder.

Monday, November 29, 2010

Leslie Nielsen; It was All Good, Even Dracula Dead and Loving It.

Frank: It's the same old story. Boy finds girl, boy loses girl, girl finds boy, boy forgets girl, boy remembers girl, girls dies in a tragic blimp accident over the Orange Bowl on New Year's Day.
Jane: Goodyear?
Frank: No, the worst.  
----
Frank: Wilma, I promise you; whatever scum did this, not one man on this force will rest one minute until he's behind bars. Now, let's grab a bite to eat.
---
Vincent Ludwig: Drebin!
Jane: Frank!
Frank: You're both right. 
---
Lt. Frank Drebin: Miss, I'm Lt. Frank Drebin, and this is Captain Ed Hocken, Police Squad.
Busty Female Shop Assistant: Is this some kind of bust?
Lt. Frank Drebin: Well... it's very impressive, yes, but we need to ask you a few questions.
---
Lt. Frank Drebin: Oh, it's all right. I'm sure that we can handle this situation maturely, just like the responsible adults that we are. Isn't that right, Mr... Poopy Pants?
---
Lt. Frank Drebin: That's the red-light district. I wonder why Savage is hanging around down there.
Captain Ed Hocken: Sex, Frank?
Lt. Frank Drebin: Uh, no, not right now, Ed.
---
Lt. Frank Drebin: This is Frank Drebin, Police Squad. Throw down your guns, and come on out with your hands up. Or come on out, then throw down your guns, whichever way you wanna do it. Just remember the two key elements here: one, guns to be thrown down; two, come on out!
----
Frank: It's a topsy-turvy world, and maybe the problems of two people don't amount to a hill of beans. But this is our hill. And these are our beans! (bonus points---Coup's yearbook quote!)
---

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Freddy Coupon's Untitled Meadowlands Review





When first documented, the sea of gray seats was received with disdain, but when you're going halfsies between a team with a red and blue color scheme and a team with a green and white one, this is one of the few options you have.


Um, where's #12? Maybe Vinny hasn't put in his retirement papers in yet because he's at home waiting for a call at the Jets' greatest hour of need. On another note, it appears as if the Jets' Ring of Honor has to be replaced every game by the Giants' equivalent: couldn't they put them on pivoting signs like the teams split the merchandise at the team store with swivel racks?

The Sanchize was gonna draw the most cheers anyway, but maybe he insisted on being the flag bearer for the post-veterans' day festivities. Not pictured: Shaun Ellis running out with a cloak before the Halloween game.

Have to give Fireman Ed credit for working the PR machine to become the Jets' de facto mascot. He may not have invented the signature chant, but he certainly staked ownership to it.

My thoughts on the stadium:
-On our way up the escalator for the Halloween game, my buddy Mike asked me if the louvers lining the building were operable and I had to break the unfortunate news to him.
-The biggest complaint about the building's facilities heard on air are about the lines for the bathrooms, and my wait lasted all of halftime, but that's probably the norm the in the upper decks of any other venue.
-I can't speak for the most common grievance, the stadium's liberal definition of satellite parking. I took the train both times, and they certainly pack them in. You get a pretty good sampling of the range of the fanbase, from the scarred old-timers to the sloshed, young ne'er-do-wells that have come to symbolize the archetypal 'Gate D' fan.
-The concourses are wider, but it's not as if the predecessor was so cramped that a change had to be made. The egg sandwich stands are a nice touch, because they do add a bit of local flavor with the use of Taylor ham (pork roll for those of us east of the Hudson), a Jersey breakfast staple.
-The four massive videoboards at each sponsor's corner aren't too intrusive or distracting. On that note, the Allianz backlash before the 2008 economic collapse is comical now, because if someone offered Mara/Tisch/Johnson $25 million a year to call the venue Hitler Field they wouldn't sign fast enough. Never, ever look a gift horse in a mouth, especially one with eight figures.
-The crowds were gamely, though as seen in every new sporting venue in the country a constant stream of traffic up and down aisles was always present. I can't hold it against the fans for sitting on their hands during the Green Bay debacle, because there wasn't a single positive play to rally behind. However, the half empty stadium during the frantic Houston comeback was inexcusable, even for SOJ veterans, because being down four points even without timeouts isn't exactly a death knell.

I'm probably done going to games for the season, though I could be swayed to going to the Buffalo season finale if the team needs it (hopefully for seeding only) or a home playoff game (extreme rarity for this franchise).




Happy Thanksgiving New York Sports Fans! (Who aren't fans of the Yankees)

Gobble-Gobble, Knick, Ranger, Met and Islander fans. No hope, no future.

Friday, November 19, 2010

Schtee Dump

A beautiful cross-section of subway life by Sam Boomz.

Because 5 hours of energy is for fucking pussies.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Oak Knows

Via Deadspin and Sports Radio Interviews:

On what he did say about the Knicks:
"I don't know."
On his message to Knicks fans:
"I just want to let the fans know I don't hate the Knicks. I love the Knicks. I go see them play."
On what is wrong with the Knicks today:
"My thing is, when you give someone $100 million, automatically they should be 41-40. If you give another guy have a max, 47. Two max guys should win you 50, 55 games. My thing is, I don't know the structure of what's going on. You can't play Around the World in the NBA, you've gotta go to the basket. … You've got enough talent that you should be .500 this year, easy."
On what he would tell Carmelo Anthony:
"I would say to make the decision for you and your family. I don't want to put something in somebody's head and then he looks back at me. I knew LeBron a lot better than Carmelo … but I like Carmelo. I don't know if he's playing with energy. He's a great scorer, now don't get me wrong. He's probably the best scorer in the league behind Kobe and Wade, just getting it done. But I don't know if he's got a sense of urgency."
On the Knicks not giving him tickets:
"I was in New York, I went to a Yankees game and I called and said, ‘Can I get tickets to the Knicks game?' They said, ‘We can't get you tickets no more to the Knicks game.' … They had tickets, but they said they didn't have no tickets for me. If they're going to tell the truth, tell the truth."
----
Charles Oakley joined Sid Rosenberg on WQAM in Miami to discuss LeBron James, Dwight Howard, Scottie Pippen, his Knicks, and Isiah Thomas.
On where he thinks his friend LeBron James will play next year:
“I said maybe Chicago or Miami… I think him and Wade would be great together. I can’t tell him to go to New York. New York treated me bad… When I go to the Knicks games, do you know that they have somebody that follows me around to see what I say to the press?”
On Dwight Howard:
“Dwight Howard is embarrassing Patrick (Ewing) if you ask me. He doesn’t have a ball player’s mind. And they tell me he is one of the best centers in the game. He wouldn’t have even made the league ten years ago. He would be on the bench. They say he won’t listen. Dwight won’t listen. How can you not listen to Patrick Ewing?”
On if he blames the Knicks lack of championships on Patrick Ewing:
“When we lose, they only point at us, never point at Patrick. Patrick was our leader as far as press and people who are watching TV, but the Knicks were made of a lot of tough guys and a lot of heart. I think that sometimes we let our heart get in the way instead of playing the game. A lot of times when we play the Bulls, decision making, Pat Riley was a great coach, but sometimes he didn’t make the best decisions. Sometimes players on the court, we didn’t make the best decisions. It was everybody why we didn’t win a championship. Pat was a our main leader. We stand behind him 100%. Patrick could have been more vocal for the team, but he wasn’t. I think that hurt us a little bit.”
On Sid Rosenberg, the host, admitting to being friends with Isiah Thomas:
“Not too many people like Isiah these days. You ain’t gay are you?… If you see a man kiss me, I better be in my casket.”
On Scottie Pippen:
“He’s the best athlete all-around ever to play in the NBA. Tell me somebody who can do what he could do for 48 minutes on the basketball court. He was the best all-around. He could play three positions, four positions, rebound, assists, steals… Michael was the singer and Scottie was the drummer. The didn’t need no backup singers.”
And on the possibility of a lockout in the NBA:
“With the product you got now, you better hope somebody watches you next year… The league’s bad.”

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Why the &$%# Not?

If someone's willing to pay the price, why stop at $45,000 FOR 300 LEVEL (YES, YOU READ RIGHT, ONE LEVEL BELOW NOSEBLEED) TICKETS TO WATCH A DISINTERESTED 'BRON DROP A 28-4-5 IN A 30-POINT ROUT WHERE HE DOESN'T SEE THE 4TH QUARTER?

Teflon Donnie Walsh

 Even the 8 seed may be too lofty a goal for these New York Knicks. The last season the Knicks won a playoff game was in the 2000/2001 season, a first round exit to Toronto. Since then, every other team in the league has won at least one playoff game save the Charlotte Bobcats and the Memphis Grizzlies (at least Charlotte and Memphis have made the playoffs in recent years). Read that last sentence again. yeah.

The New York Post ran a poll Tuesday asking who is to blame for all this. Shockingly, "Teflon" Donnie Walsh only got 5% of the vote! What does he have to do to get raked over the coals for presiding over yet another underachieving team with no future? D'Antoni may indeed be a buffoon whose next coaching stop will be coaching A.I. in the Turkish League, but he didn't assemble this roster. Honestly, the only hope is that the Nets land 'Melo, finally move to Bucktown and usurp the 'Bockers.  Let em fade into Bolivia.