Monday, July 18, 2011
I Survived Carmageddon and All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt
Surprise! A whole lotta hype for nothing. And all the distraction over the traffic tie-ups that never came hid the real problem, a $1 billion project to add a carpool lane that will be worthless because this is the one city with no one downtown workplace destination.
"Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day
To the last syllable of recorded time,
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
And then is heard no more: it is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing."
Friday, July 15, 2011
STOP THE PRESSES! SCRAMBLE CHOPPERS! SHOCKING NEWS! Broker Believes Real Estate Market is Strong!
Also in today's paper:
Butcher: Whaddaya Gonna Eat, Tofu?!?
Baker: Guess What Fat Kids Like!
Candlestick Maker: Candlebras Are the New Black
Penis Pill Seller: Hey, Limpdick,Your Dick's Small!
Guiseppe Franco: Bald Men Want Hair.
Bed-Stuy Bodega Owner: Hey, You Want Some Clamato? I Got Plenty.
Coffee Cart Guy: Bear Claws Need Hot Liquid to be Dunked In.
Neptune Diner Owner: Souvlaki and Rice Pudding is the New Burger and Apple Pie
Mike D'Antoni: This is the Year!
Hollywood Agent: I Smell Oscar!
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Who Was The Shittiest Mets Closer of Them All?
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| I was always a little partial cuz of our shared name. |
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| What if we implanted the desire to blow a close game....in his dreams??? |
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| quick quiz, a picture of a random Met fan from the upper deck or Met closer and son of Sanitation Worker John Franco? |
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| misunderstood, but not by Paul O'Neill. |
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Ballhawk of all Ballhawks' Fly Whip Vanity Plate; and the Mysteriously Unboss Sight of Rick Ross (Boss) in a Wheelchair
| -caw-caw-caw- |
That's not boss. But it's Rick Ross from Weez' new vid for "John."
Monday, July 11, 2011
UGGGGHHHHH Make it Stop; Derek Jeter Reaches 3,000 Hits, Wade Boggs is like "bro, call me when you crush 64 beers on a cross-country flight"
what, were Bishop Desmond Tutu, Pope Benedict XVI, President Barack Obama, the Dalai Lama, Bruce Springsteen, Saint Paul O'Neill, Jay-Z, United Nations Secretary General Ban-Ki Moon, Ed Koch, and Secretary of State Hillary Clinton not available? Such disrespect!
Labels:
A.M.F.S.B.T.M.F.Y. Nation,
Ass,
Baseball,
Competitive Imbalance,
Yankees
Thursday, July 07, 2011
Das Racist: Biased Umpires Don't Call Strikes Strikes
Freakonomics dudes posit that umpires are hate-hate-hatin.
Baseball can easily solve this problem by replacing the home plate umpire with dogs with bees in their mouths that shoot tiny lasers that form a strike zone for each batter.
Wednesday, July 06, 2011
Tuesday, July 05, 2011
Thursday, June 30, 2011
That's Metal. and other Amazing Photographs from the Guardian Newspaper
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| just throwing horns |
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| wildfires in New Mexico |
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| butters tut chilling during the Greek riots |
The Guardian is the most complete and most readable newspaper on the internet. One of their most appealing running features is a slideshow of amazing photographs from around the world.
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
The Complete and Utter Absuridty of Left Field at the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum When it Was Set Up for baseball and the Los Angeles Dodgers
Came across this pic, it's newish so it probably dates from when the Doyers played an exhibition, against the Red Sox methinks, a few years back to commemorate the four years they spent playing at the L.A. Coliseum after they moved from Bucktown, USA. Look at left field! I could see the bizman or edotage or k.w. von Ruffnhuggz hitting a stickball home run outta there.
Monday, June 27, 2011
Lookalikes: Mexico coach Jose Manuel de la Torre is the Evil Mario Lemieux
as recognized by the King of Finding Lookalikes, Al K. Mza.
For what it's worth, there were 93,000 fans at the Rose Bowl Saturday for the U.S.-Mexico final and only 40,000 at Dodger Stadium that same day for Angels-Dodgers. Which one is the niche sport?
For what it's worth, there were 93,000 fans at the Rose Bowl Saturday for the U.S.-Mexico final and only 40,000 at Dodger Stadium that same day for Angels-Dodgers. Which one is the niche sport?
Friday, June 24, 2011
Iman Mohamed Abdulmajid and Iman Shumpert: Is it bad when your team's draft pick shares the first name with one of the world's most beautiful supermodels?
I don't have an answer, but at least Iman Shumpert is a fun name to say.
Well, thanks for all the memories, "Teflon" Donnie Walsh. What a legacy, what a rebuilding job. By this time next year, with no draft pick in 2012 thanks to the brilliant Tracy McGrady trade, Carmelo's gonna be looking around at Amare limping around on gimpy needs, Iman Shumpert, Landry "Furds" Fields and start begging for a trade to Brooklyn.
Well, thanks for all the memories, "Teflon" Donnie Walsh. What a legacy, what a rebuilding job. By this time next year, with no draft pick in 2012 thanks to the brilliant Tracy McGrady trade, Carmelo's gonna be looking around at Amare limping around on gimpy needs, Iman Shumpert, Landry "Furds" Fields and start begging for a trade to Brooklyn.
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| I made this two years ago, everyone pictured is still involved with their respective team, and each team is still mediocre. Co-inky-dink? |
Labels:
Amateur Sports,
Baskets,
Competitive Imbalance,
Hoops,
Knicks,
Mets
Thursday, June 23, 2011
The Big Man: Awesome Photos of Clarence Clemens
I'm not pro-Boss. I'm not anti-Boss. I'm ambivalent Boss. He's got some good tunes, and Clarence Clemens was on most of 'em. Wonder how Mad Dog's taking the news.
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Monday, June 20, 2011
Kinda Sorta Lookalikes: Danny Noonan from Caddyshack and U.S. Open Golf Winner Rory McIlroy
N-n-n-n-noonan.
P.S. It's always U.S.Open of Golf. Emphasis on the "of golf." There's only one U.S. Open.
P.S. It's always U.S.Open of Golf. Emphasis on the "of golf." There's only one U.S. Open.
Thursday, June 16, 2011
So The Boston Bruins Beat the Vancouver Canucks for the Stanley Cup last night
Either these two canuckleheads are really torn up about Vancouver's loss last night, or some hoser just snatched the last crueller from Tim Horton's.
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Monday, June 13, 2011
Haters Want to Hate, Lovers Want to Love: Misinterpreting LeBron James, He's Just Saying What Tupac and Cam'ron Already Told You
Peoples are mad at LeBron because they think he made fun of poor people or was condescending or some shit when he said this after yesterday's loss:
“All the people that were rooting me on to fail, at the end of the day they have to wake up tomorrow and have the same life they had before...They have the same personal problems they had to today. I’m going to continue to live the way I want to live and continue to do the things that I want with me and my family and be happy with that...They can get a few days or a few months or whatever the case may be on being happy that not only myself, but the Miami Heat not accomplishing their goal,” James said. “But they’ll have to get back to the real world at some point.”
But instead of being mad, peoples should be propping LeBron for speaking some stone cold truth. "The Decision" as a tv show was a shitty tv show, but to get mad at LeBron for choosing Miami or to get mad at LeBron for not being as big of a competitive asshole as Jordan or Kobe is the ultimate hypocrisy; to ask or expect something of someone else that you wouldn't ask or expect of yourself.
Why hate LeBron? For our selfish need to have a "story" when watching games that don't involve our team? That's our problem. LeBron is saying that all that hate, all that negativity directed towards him and the Heat is worthless. Live your life and let LeBron live his. If you watch basketball, watch basketball, but don't invest your emotional well-being in the acts of strangers.
No less than two Goddz are with LeBron here.
Tupac, "Don't You Trust Me?"
Question me about my whereabouts that's so trivial
Let me live my life and you can live yours
Cam'ron, "Live My Life"
Leave me alone, let me just live my live, ah
Just leave me alone, leave me alone
Let me just live my life ah
“All the people that were rooting me on to fail, at the end of the day they have to wake up tomorrow and have the same life they had before...They have the same personal problems they had to today. I’m going to continue to live the way I want to live and continue to do the things that I want with me and my family and be happy with that...They can get a few days or a few months or whatever the case may be on being happy that not only myself, but the Miami Heat not accomplishing their goal,” James said. “But they’ll have to get back to the real world at some point.”
But instead of being mad, peoples should be propping LeBron for speaking some stone cold truth. "The Decision" as a tv show was a shitty tv show, but to get mad at LeBron for choosing Miami or to get mad at LeBron for not being as big of a competitive asshole as Jordan or Kobe is the ultimate hypocrisy; to ask or expect something of someone else that you wouldn't ask or expect of yourself.
Why hate LeBron? For our selfish need to have a "story" when watching games that don't involve our team? That's our problem. LeBron is saying that all that hate, all that negativity directed towards him and the Heat is worthless. Live your life and let LeBron live his. If you watch basketball, watch basketball, but don't invest your emotional well-being in the acts of strangers.
No less than two Goddz are with LeBron here.
Tupac, "Don't You Trust Me?"
Question me about my whereabouts that's so trivial
Let me live my life and you can live yours
Cam'ron, "Live My Life"
Leave me alone, let me just live my live, ah
Just leave me alone, leave me alone
Let me just live my life ah
Thursday, June 09, 2011
Tuesday, June 07, 2011
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