Baseball Opening Day 2010 Photos

Honoring a 134-year old tradition, we begin in Cincinnati and the Hit King. Nightmares.

 Leona Helmsley.

You watch your fat ass, Joe :"Keep Waiting, Donnie" Torre, Bobby Cox is gunning for your spot at the head of the Knights of the Bigelow Tea Table.

Stiiiiiiiiiiilllllllllllllllllll, Octavio "Please" Dotel. Thanks for Mike Hampton tho. Reminds me of when Hampton left the Mets for the Rockies, citing the better school system. Francesa and Dog had a field day that afternoon, playing "Rocky Mountain High" on a loop in the background.

 Is PNC Park in Pittsbugh consistently ranked the best because of the stadium itself or because of the backdrop? It's a legit question. That's why I keep Dodger Stadium in my top 3 (behind Old Shea and Fenway),  it's just baseball and nothing else.

  Not pictured: The stool King Bloomberg is standing on. I had the pleasure of meeting Diana Taylor once. Stone cold foxxxxx. -rawr-

Much better ensemble from President Obama than the pitiful shapeless jeans he wore last summer. But look at that feeble delivery. Looks like he could use a couple of seshies with the MZA. "The first key to pitching is to throw." And what would Sizzle-Bizzle aka The Kid say about that slouchy hat with the bent brim? That's not boss.

 Juan Pierre has a tiny head. I just want to pinch it.

Peep the real-life Comic Book Guy bashfully, prolly sweatily, waiting for Bob "I'll Toss a Complete Game Right Now" Feller. Nerd's got the kind of forearms you can only get by lifting many a Subway Meatball footlong to your mouth.

Johan knows the secret us stickballers knew many a moon ago: New Balance kicks. Meanwhile, can you even tell that this year's Met pinstripe jersey is cream rather than white? Without the texture you just can't create the look of the flannel era. No sport has uglier, less utilitarian jerseys than modern baseball.