Friday, February 20, 2009

Opening the Schtee Vault # 1



Only in New York could a story about ballplayers giving each other haircuts in the clubhouse ignite a firestorm worse than, well, Super-Friend Firestorm.

So, like Cam'ron, come with me back to the Mets of 2003, languishing in last place, rudderless under the leadership of the walking dead Art Howe. It was early May of that year when news broke that Harmando Boonitez, whose steely, confident gaze graces the banner of this very blog above, gave shortstop Rey Sanchez a haircut during a game.

OH MY!

Reaction was swift. Unquestioned clubhouse leader, Mo Vaughn, plumbed the depths of his dome to offer, "Rey knows the rights and wrongs, but we're not going to make a big issue of that as a team. We've got too many other things to worry about."

Like the lack of butterscotch syrup in the clubhouse to douse his post-game sundae with! HI-YO!

Potential Hall-of Fame GM Steve Phillips, in perhaps the best summation of his ruinous reign, offered, "I don't get embarrassed about anything anymore.

In hindsight, that was likely the truest thing Phillips ever said. After all, those fake ESPN press conferences were he impersonated various baseball GMs still awaited him in the future.

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Peep for more classic NY Post offerings in the future as I take full advantage of developments in scanner technology.