Friday, July 29, 2011

News Flash: New Jersey Governor Chris Christie is Fat

Methinks a moomoo would look more dignified. 
And Jerz' First Lady, could you please cover up those ham hocks?

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Massssssssiiiiiiive DJ Rony Seikaly from Beirut to Ibiza



Rony Seikaly, international massive house DJ.  Luis Figo called, he wants his whole schtee back.

oh tell me why, do we build castles in the sky.............

Monday, July 25, 2011

Kool and the Gang's "Summer Madness" (the Extended Version) Will Chill You The Fuck Out No Matter How Fucking Hot it is Outside. Also, Holy Warbles Brings the Psychedelique Funkenfuzz of Stone Coal White.

you may recognize this jamm as the source for Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince's "Summertime."

BUT WAIT. This jam should be paired with their "Winter Sadness" to properly reflect on the circle of (trife) life. 

While on that 70's ill jammy-jam tip, check this awesome 70's rarities music blog holy warbles. They just dropped some ill knowledge about a band called "Stone Coal White," that they accurately describe as "Psychedelique Funkenfuzz."

If you diiiiiig, the download link is in the first comment. not shady.

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Look into My Eyes

Deep in the subterreanean level below bleeker street lies a bin of magic and wonderment

doing what he does best

"lionel, we need you to look more haunted"

"same look LR, but let's get you in profile his time babe, i want to feel the hurt"

Girl, take off your pants

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

An Important Met Memorandum from the Desk of Fred Coupon: Jason "Baynilla" Bay Easily Trumps Bobby "I'll Show You the Bronx" Bonilla as the Worst Mets Free-Agent Signing of All Time

It's not even close really. Bobby Bo, for all his off-the-field crap, wasn't that terrible. Of course, if the Mets hadn't signed Bonilla, they coulda maybe been in the market for Barry Bonds, but whatevs. Keep a keen eye on tonight's Met broadcast to see Freddy Coups waving the awesome sign above in the stands.

Monday, July 18, 2011

I Survived Carmageddon and All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt

Surprise! A whole lotta hype for nothing. And all the distraction over the traffic tie-ups that never came hid the real problem, a $1 billion project to add a carpool lane that will be worthless because this is the one city with no one downtown workplace destination.

"Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day
To the last syllable of recorded time,
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
And then is heard no more: it is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing."

Friday, July 15, 2011

STOP THE PRESSES! SCRAMBLE CHOPPERS! SHOCKING NEWS! Broker Believes Real Estate Market is Strong!

Also in today's paper:

Butcher: Whaddaya Gonna Eat, Tofu?!?
Baker: Guess What Fat Kids Like!
Candlestick Maker: Candlebras Are the New Black
Penis Pill Seller: Hey, Limpdick,Your Dick's Small!
Guiseppe Franco: Bald Men Want Hair.
Bed-Stuy Bodega Owner: Hey, You Want Some Clamato? I Got Plenty.
Coffee Cart Guy: Bear Claws Need Hot Liquid to be Dunked In.
Neptune Diner Owner: Souvlaki and Rice Pudding is the New Burger and Apple Pie
Mike D'Antoni: This is the Year!
Hollywood Agent: I Smell Oscar!

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Who Was The Shittiest Mets Closer of Them All?

I was always a little partial cuz of our shared name.
What if we implanted the desire to blow a close his dreams???
I didn't make this one, but I found and decided I couldn't do better for a Braden Looper image. He's Peter Criss by the way. And by the way, time may have forgotten that double blown save against Pittsburgh, but I haven't.
quick quiz, a picture of a random Met fan from the upper deck or Met closer and son of Sanitation Worker John Franco?
misunderstood, but not by Paul O'Neill.

Monday, July 11, 2011

UGGGGHHHHH Make it Stop; Derek Jeter Reaches 3,000 Hits, Wade Boggs is like "bro, call me when you crush 64 beers on a cross-country flight"

what, were Bishop Desmond Tutu, Pope Benedict XVI, President Barack Obama, the Dalai Lama, Bruce Springsteen, Saint Paul O'Neill, Jay-Z, United Nations Secretary General Ban-Ki Moon, Ed Koch, and Secretary of State Hillary Clinton not available? Such disrespect!

Thursday, July 07, 2011

Das Racist: Biased Umpires Don't Call Strikes Strikes

Freakonomics dudes posit that umpires are hate-hate-hatin. 

Baseball can easily solve this problem by replacing the home plate umpire with dogs with bees in their mouths that shoot tiny lasers that form a strike zone for each batter.

Wednesday, July 06, 2011