If the powers that be wanted to keep the Top Four Bowls separate, then they could spread Round 1 solely amongst them, creating double-dips like this year's Rose Bowl.Yet the folks in charge continue to shove drivel down our throats. I saved a telling interview with Bill Hancock, BCS Executive Director, done by Dan Patrick in the Nov. 30, 2009 issue of Sports Illustrated because his answers were so galling.
Dan Patrick: Which season finishes better-college football or college basketball?
Bill Hancock: College football wins in six overtimes.
DP: Why do you say that?
BH: Because so many teams celebrate at the end. So many teams have such great experiences with the bowl games. It's an awesome thing. We need to keep that.
Somehow these bowls have survived for decades despite featuring middle-of-the-road teams, fails to answer how rearranging the top tier bowls, the Orange, Fiesta, Rose and Sugar into semi-finals and a final would affect the lesser bowls. Thankfully, Dan Patrick stays on target...
DP: But we can keep the bowls. Why not have a Final Four where three of the bowls determine the national champion?
A very fair question, watch Bill Hancock respond with the kind of gibberish which makes you either question his very sanity or want to huff what he's huffing.
BH: You know, I hear you, Dan, but the fact is, the bowl experience would not be the same. Great example: We were in Miami [getting ready for the Orange Bowl] and a Virginia Tech player injured his ankle riding his riding a Jet Ski. [Another time in Miami] an NFL team came in for a playoff game. They arrived on Saturday night, had their dinner, got up the next morning, played and went home. We've got college students at the beach for a week riding Jet Skis in our bowl system; on the other hand, you've got these NFL players there for 11 hours, playing the game and going home. Our experience is a lifetime experience, and it's much better.
The current system of meaningless postgame exhibitions must be preserved because our players are riding Jet Skis! JET SKIS!!! If we had a playoff system there would be no jet skis. But Bill, what if I told you that under a playoff system these young men could be zipping along in SEA DOOS? Also, I don't think that the fine young men who took part in the recent Humanitarian Bowl in Boise, Idaho got to ride Jet Skis.
DP: If you had a playoff over the Christmas holidays (ed note, there is holidays should be singular, unless he is referring to Armenian Christmas), you could preserve the smaller bowls and make some of the other bowls more meaningful. And you'd own the month of December. Why not do that?
BH: The problem with a playoff is who, what, when, where.
Aggghhhh, my brain hurts, so many questions! Four questions! So difficult So, so fwustating. Ok, let's see. Who? The top eight times. What? Thee Album. When? Round 1, the weekend before Christmas. Round 2 aka the Final Four, the next weekend around New Year's. Round 3 aka the Final, the first Thursday of the year, same as the BCS Title Game. And look, no class time missed! Where? Use the current top tier bowls, the Orange, Fiesta, Rose and Sugar and rotate Rounds 2 and 3 amongst them. Use Round 1 to spread the wealth to some of the lesser bowls such as the Cotton, the Peach, the Holiday and the Gator. Or use the top tiers again in Round 1.
DP: Let's say Cincy goes undefeated (Or Boise State or Auburn a few years ago or any number of examples). What do you say to the Bearcats when they don't get to play for the national championship?
BH: I was the director of the Final Four for 13 years, and I would say to Cincinnati the same thing I always said to coaches who were left out of the tournament or got a bad seed: "You guys had a great season, and you're to be congratulated for it."
This is why I'm not a reporter, at this point in the interview I would have reached across the table and give him a wedgie or fart over the phone. This man is not to be taken seriously nor afforded any respect.
DP: Yeah, but you don't make it in a field of 65, you have yourself to blame. An undefeated team is not going to miss the tournament. If you have a team like Cincy or TCU go undefeated and not play for the title, that's a flawed system.
BH: The problem you have is, What kind of a playoff? If you have six undefeated teams and a four-team playoff, two teams are going to be very disappointed. I'm just not sure-no, I know-we wouldn't gain much by going to a playoff.
Strikes me as the kinda guy who woulda told Kennedy, "The Moon??? Man, that's really far. Ugh, no thanks, our handy interstate system means that I can get from Gary, Indiana to Chicago in about an hour! And, besides, there's no Jet Skis on the moon." As usual, follow the money. It's about short cheese versus long. They're making money now. They would make untold amounts more with a playoff system, but they're scared of risking the guaranteed yellow cheese product they have now even though there's gouda out there. And as usual, it's not about the student athletes, the kids at programs shut out of the Top Two who deserve a shot at eternal glory, it's about keeping money in the pockets of bowl sponsors. Frankly, it's gross. And Bill Hancock should be ashamed of the words he's uttered, Dan Patrick raised good point after good point, and rather than engage in an adult conversation, Hancock talks about Jet Skis. That's all we need to know about the BCS side of the argument.
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