Manager: [ stepping forward] Governor, I'm Kevin O'Brien, the manager, and I just want to thank you for dropping by - again. Bill Clinton: Well, thank you, Kevin. You've got a real American family place here. Is it too late for an Egg McMuffin? Manager: Well, we stop serving breakfast at eleven.. but for you.. Bill Clinton: Thanks so much. Manager: And should I check to see if I can scare up some of those sausage patties. Bill Clinton: You read my mind!

Clinton at McDonald's

Bill Clinton.....Phil Hartman
Secret Service Agent #1.....Kevin Nealon
Cashier.....Melanie Hutsell
Female Customer.....Ellen Cleghorne
Les Holmgren.....Chris Farley
Manager.....Tom Arnold
College Student.....Julia Sweeney
Male Customer.....Rob Schneider

[ President-Elect Bill Clinton and two Secret Service agents jog into a D.C. McDonald's ]

Bill Clinton: Alright, boys, let's stop here for a second. I'm a little parched from the fog.

Secret Service Agent #1: Sir, we've only been jogging for three blocks. Besides, Mrs. Clinton asked us not to let you in any more fast food places.

Bill Clinton: I just want to mingle with the American people, talk with some real folks.. and maybe get a Diet Coke, or something..

Secret Service Agent #1: Fine. But please don't tell Mrs. Clinton.

Bill Clinton: Jim, let me tell you something - there's gonna be a lot of things we don't tell Mrs. Clinton about. Fast food is the least of our worries.

Cashier: Oh, my God! It's Bill Clinton!

Bill Clinton: Hey, nice to meet you! How are you? [ walks up to a young mother ] That's an adorable baby. What's your name, sweetheart?

Female Customer: [ holding baby ] Her name is Shakira.

Bill Clinton: Now, that means "African Princess", doesn't it?

Female Customer: Why, yes!

Bill Clinton: Well, she certainly is beautiful enough to be a princess. Are you gonna finish those fries?

Female Customer: Uh.. no. Would you like some?

Bill Clinton: Well, if you're not gonna eat 'em.. [ grabs the fries and eats ] ..Mmm, these are good. Shakira, you take good care of your mom now.. [ moves on ] Hi, how are you? Good to meet ya! How we doing over here?

Les Holmgren: Les Holmgren. Holmgren Hardware. Voted for you, sir.

Bill Clinton: Thank you, Les. So you own your own hardware store?

Les Holmgren: Yes indeed, sir. Since 1972.

Bill Clinton: Well, good for you. You know, we want to create a network of community development banks that lend to small businesses like yourself. I see your boy doesn't like pickles.

Les Holmgren: Nah, he hates them!

Bill Clinton: You mind? [ grabs the pickles ] Attaboy! So, good luck to you. We're gonna wake up everyday thinking about you. Oops! Missed one. [ grabs remaining pickle ]

Manager: [ stepping forward] Governor, I'm Kevin O'Brien, the manager, and I just want to thank you for dropping by - again.

Bill Clinton: Well, thank you, Kevin. You've got a real American family place here. Is it too late for an Egg McMuffin?

Manager: Well, we stop serving breakfast at eleven.. but for you..

Bill Clinton: Thanks so much.

Manager: And should I check to see if I can scare up some of those sausage patties.

Bill Clinton: You read my mind!

Secret Service Agent #1: [ whispering ] Uh, sir.. maybe you'd prefer a McLean burger.. or the garden salad is very nice.

College Student: Governor Clinton? I'm a sophomore in college, and I may have to drop out because my parents can't afford tuition.

Bill Clinton: [ glancing at her tray ] Speak of the devil, that's one of those McLean sandwiches. Are those any good?

College Student: Would you like to try it?

Bill Clinton: Well, just a bite.. [ takes a huge chomp ] Mmm.. that's not bad! You know, my National Service Trust Fund would allow every student to.. [ grabs her soda ] ..mind if I wash it down? [ takes a sip ] Ahh! That hit the spot!

Manager: [ returning ] Your Egg McMuffin, Mr. President.

Bill Clinton: Thank you, Kevin. You have any of that sweet and sour sauce. You know, the kind that you dip McNuggets in?

Manager: For your McMuffin?

Bill Clinton: Or the barbecue sauce. Whichever.

Male Customer: You can use mine.

Bill Clinton: Great. Just pour in right on.

Male Customer: [ pours the sauce on ] I have a question.

Bill Clinton: That's it. Just pour it all on!

Male Customer: Do you support the decision to send troops to Somalia?

Bill Clinton: [ chews his McMuffin ] Mmm.. that's a good question. Yes, I do.. and let me tell you why. See, right now, we're sending in.. [ holds us McMuffin ] ..food.. [ puts McMuffin in front of Male Customer ] ..to Somalia.. but it's not getting to the people who need it because.. [ brings McMuffin back to himself ] ..it's being intercepted by the warlords.. [ chews McMuffin some more ] And it's not just us. It's other countries, too.. [ grabs a McNugget from another customer ] Your McNugget is aid from Great Britain.. [ takes it to other customer, then gibbles it down ] ..intercepted by warlords! [ grabs someone's Filet-o-Fish ] This man's Filet-o-Fish over here is relief from Italy.. [ pops it in his mouth ] ..warlords! And you can send all the food you want.. [ grabs different items ] ..a McDLT, hot apple pie.. it's just gonna end up with.. [ puts it all in his mouth ] ..the warlords! Now, with a broad-based international military force, we can make sure that the McRib sandwich.. [ grabs one and places it on someone's tray ] ..gets to the people who need it. [ picks it up and gobbles it anyway ] Can I get a Coke?

Secret Service Agent #1: Uh, sir.. I think we should probably continue your jog. We've only gone about an eighth of a mile.

Bill Clinton: Alright. You guys up for a real run?

Secret Service Agent #1: Yes, sir.

Bill Clinton: Race you to Pizza Hut!

[ Clinton runs out of the McDonald's, as the Secret Service agents follow right behind him ]

The Beer to Have When You're Having More Than One

President Obama will soon be hosting Professor Henry Louis Gates, Jr. of Harvard and Cambridge Police Sergeant James Crowley for beers at the White House to discuss Gates' controversial arrest.

The New York Post comes throo with the important question, what beer will they sip on?

We've already seen, at the All-Star Game in St. Louis, that Obama knows how to dress to appeal to the average American, so will he go with a kiss of the hops? Or the beer to have when you're having more than one?

I ask you, readers and fellow boozehounds, what should they drink? And how many beers before they're blasting The Boss' "Glory Days," scarfing pizza, sharing cigs and hugging each other?

Can't Wear Skinny Jeans Cuz....

Awhile back, an out-of-touch Hov declared his disdain for skinny jeans on the blaze (no thanks to him) banger "Swagger Like Us."

At last nite's All-Star Game, we learned that the Big O aka The Leader of the Free World shares the Marcy Maestro's hate.

Take a gander at his ghastly ensemble. Saggy, shapeless Levis that descend shamefully down his lengthy gams only to end abruptly above his ankles. But of course! All the better to showcase those crispy white kicks. And that crease!!!! Does he iron his jeans? Are his jeans....pleated?????

It's.....it's all too Seinfeld-ian.

And if he was going for the common man look he should have gone with Lee's. In fact, he should have just rocked Jorts.

Many others have picked up on the Obama-Seinfeld parallel, including the Huffington Post and the NY Times. He wears his suits fairly baggy as well. Which makes sense, considering he came of age amidst the shoulder-padded excess of the 80's. But does the change he stands for stop at his wardrobe?