Stay Classy, Don Sterling, Also The Clippers Just Took Some Ecstasy (Aint no tellin what the side effects will be); Morever, Michael Cage is a Handsome Man; Finally Darius Miles proves Motorhead right in that the Chase is Better Than the Catch.

Not the same ecstasy that Dr. Dre took. Ecstasy is defined as fighting for the 9 place in the crowded west. The Lake Show, the Spurs, the Dunn-der, the Utah Mountain People, The Nuggs, the Blazzze, the Mav-Nots, the Dunns, plus the Hornets, the Rockets and the Grizzz, where exactly to the Clips fit into this picture?

Better view of the new Clippers unis, why is the wordmark so low on the jersey??

 Just let your soul. glow.

The NBA should have created a three-on-three halfcourt league for players like Darius Miles who clearly had skillz that needed to be seen and showcased, just not skillz that worked in the NBA

The Los Angeles Clippers: A Tradition of Excellence (Not!)

I'm no simile sexpert but I don't think of dunks as "fast." As in, man, that Shawn Kemp sure dunked the ball swiftly! Monstrous, sure. Barbaric, yes. Yamtastic, indeed. And please, please, please watch this Shawn Kemp Reebok commercial. I imagine Clippers tix are moving as swiftly as Tree Rollins defending Kemp in this clip.Also, has Griffy-Griff even dunked the ball for the Paper Clips in a game yet?

Don Sterling comes off seeming surprising funny in this surprisingly decent L.A. Times column by hack T.J. Simers. Good reading. We can only dream of having the kind of lucci that let's us pay a men like Ryan Gomes and Randy Foye millions and then say, ""If I really called the shots we wouldn't have signed Gomes and what's the other guy's name?"

And the new Clippers road uni and logo. Still biting the Lakers with that logo, and the usual extraneous modern-NBA piping on the sides.

Trippin' on the Paper Clips

"That's it Eric, hold up that index finger, a lil higher, there, got it!" encouraged the cameraman as he snapped away at the Clippers' Training Center in Playa Vista.

"Umm, are we done?" mumbled an impatient Eric Gordon.

"C'moooon, E.G., just give us a smile and we can call it a day. Just a little-bitty-intsy-bitty smile."

"No."

"I have your dog right here."

"Smooches!"

"I'll shoot him right now."

"d-d-don't. I'll do whatever you want."

"Give daddy a smile."

-CLICK-

Seriously, are the L.A. Clippers awake? Did someone approve this ad before it ran in the L.A. Times? With the Lake Show celebrating their redemptive championship, and possibly bringing the entire team back for an encore in 09/10, the Clips have never looked worse.

Seriously, look at Eric Gordon's face here. He looks like a 10-year old Charles Barkley who just shit his pants after eating a gallon of ice cream.

But hey, DJ Dense is gonna be there. Admission is free. There will be free draft guides. There will be Clipper Girls. I mean, sure, MILFy and all, but they aint exactly giving Paula Abdul a run for her money.



And to think, not too long ago, the Clippers were the biggest "G" team this side of the 2000 Jail Blazers.


Tangent. Were the 2000 Blaze the biggest "G" team of all time? Possibly. Probably. Definitely.

Rashweed "Cut The Check" Wallace. Steve "Smiff" Smith. Damon "Back When I was Good" Stoudamire. Bonzi "Dude, You've Got A" Wells. Scottie "The Knicks? Same Shit...Different Address" Pippen. Arvydas "Y'all Lithuanians Already Knew This" Sabonis. Dale "Where my Brotha Antonio At?" Davis. Shawn "Father's Day" Kemp. Greg "I'll Punch You In The Fucking Face" Anthony. Stacey "Plastic Man" Augmon. Rod "G.O.D.'s Gift" Strickland. Detlef "On The Stremf, F'realz" Schrempf. Gary "Cary" Grant. Will "I'm White" Perdue. Eric "Remember when St. John's was Dope?" Barkley.

Is that Mark "Helicopter" Jackson getting yammed on?

Damn. What coulda been. Fuck Robert Horry. Motherfuck him and John Wayne.

What say you? Can you think of more "G" squads?

A Tale of Two Cities

Los Angeles Baskets. The Lakers. The Clippers. The Lakers are gunning for their 15th N.B.A. title. And the Greatest Rapper Alive just dropped a banger big-upping Kobe:




The Clippers? Running embarrassing ads in the L.A. Times encouraging us to buy ticks based on their upcoming #1 pick in the draft. OOOO Yao? LeBron? Supes? How convenient that the Clips ignore their own history with #1 picks? 1998=The Candy Man, no not creepy Tony Todd, but Michael Olowokandi. Also overlooking the fact that they've chosen in the lottery every year save 4 since the lottery system started 25 years ago! "Chris" Benoit Benjamin. Hersey "Highway" Hawkins. Danny "Knees" Manning. Loy "Twas all for" Vaught. Terry "KoKo" Dehere. Antonio "Frownie Wuz Right" McDyess. Lorenzen "If Picking You Is Wrong I Don't Wanna Be" Wright.



The Clippers actually haven't done a bad job picking within the past 10 years. Lamar Odom. Q-Rich. Tyson Chandler. Of course, those three shone the brightest after leaving the Clipper Coupon Kingdom.

The Clippers are no strangers to running embarrassing ads in the Times, however. Their owner Donald Sterling, is quite fond of running multiple ads a day for his various housing developments and fake self-awards all featuring this hunky headshot: