Bill Clinton: Alright, boys, let's stop here for a second. I'm a little parched from the fog.
Secret Service Agent #1: Sir, we've only been jogging for three blocks. Besides, Mrs. Clinton asked us not to let you in any more fast food places.
Bill Clinton: I just want to mingle with the American people, talk with some real folks.. and maybe get a Diet Coke, or something..
Secret Service Agent #1: Fine. But please don't tell Mrs. Clinton.
Bill Clinton: Jim, let me tell you something - there's gonna be a lot of things we don't tell Mrs. Clinton about. Fast food is the least of our worries.
Cashier: Oh, my God! It's Bill Clinton!
Bill Clinton: Hey, nice to meet you! How are you? [ walks up to a young mother ] That's an adorable baby. What's your name, sweetheart?
Female Customer: [ holding baby ] Her name is Shakira.
Bill Clinton: Now, that means "African Princess", doesn't it?
Female Customer: Why, yes!
Bill Clinton: Well, she certainly is beautiful enough to be a princess. Are you gonna finish those fries?
Female Customer: Uh.. no. Would you like some?
Bill Clinton: Well, if you're not gonna eat 'em.. [ grabs the fries and eats ] ..Mmm, these are good. Shakira, you take good care of your mom now.. [ moves on ] Hi, how are you? Good to meet ya! How we doing over here?
Les Holmgren: Les Holmgren. Holmgren Hardware. Voted for you, sir.
Bill Clinton: Thank you, Les. So you own your own hardware store?
Les Holmgren: Yes indeed, sir. Since 1972.
Bill Clinton: Well, good for you. You know, we want to create a network of community development banks that lend to small businesses like yourself. I see your boy doesn't like pickles.
Les Holmgren: Nah, he hates them!
Bill Clinton: You mind? [ grabs the pickles ] Attaboy! So, good luck to you. We're gonna wake up everyday thinking about you. Oops! Missed one. [ grabs remaining pickle ]
Manager: [ stepping forward] Governor, I'm Kevin O'Brien, the manager, and I just want to thank you for dropping by - again.
Bill Clinton: Well, thank you, Kevin. You've got a real American family place here. Is it too late for an Egg McMuffin?
Manager: Well, we stop serving breakfast at eleven.. but for you..
Bill Clinton: Thanks so much.
Manager: And should I check to see if I can scare up some of those sausage patties.
Bill Clinton: You read my mind!
Secret Service Agent #1: [ whispering ] Uh, sir.. maybe you'd prefer a McLean burger.. or the garden salad is very nice.
College Student: Governor Clinton? I'm a sophomore in college, and I may have to drop out because my parents can't afford tuition.
Bill Clinton: [ glancing at her tray ] Speak of the devil, that's one of those McLean sandwiches. Are those any good?
College Student: Would you like to try it?
Bill Clinton: Well, just a bite.. [ takes a huge chomp ] Mmm.. that's not bad! You know, my National Service Trust Fund would allow every student to.. [ grabs her soda ] ..mind if I wash it down? [ takes a sip ] Ahh! That hit the spot!
Manager: [ returning ] Your Egg McMuffin, Mr. President.
Bill Clinton: Thank you, Kevin. You have any of that sweet and sour sauce. You know, the kind that you dip McNuggets in?
Manager: For your McMuffin?
Bill Clinton: Or the barbecue sauce. Whichever.
Male Customer: You can use mine.
Bill Clinton: Great. Just pour in right on.
Male Customer: [ pours the sauce on ] I have a question.
Bill Clinton: That's it. Just pour it all on!
Male Customer: Do you support the decision to send troops to Somalia?
Bill Clinton: [ chews his McMuffin ] Mmm.. that's a good question. Yes, I do.. and let me tell you why. See, right now, we're sending in.. [ holds us McMuffin ] ..food.. [ puts McMuffin in front of Male Customer ] ..to Somalia.. but it's not getting to the people who need it because.. [ brings McMuffin back to himself ] ..it's being intercepted by the warlords.. [ chews McMuffin some more ] And it's not just us. It's other countries, too.. [ grabs a McNugget from another customer ] Your McNugget is aid from Great Britain.. [ takes it to other customer, then gibbles it down ] ..intercepted by warlords! [ grabs someone's Filet-o-Fish ] This man's Filet-o-Fish over here is relief from Italy.. [ pops it in his mouth ] ..warlords! And you can send all the food you want.. [ grabs different items ] ..a McDLT, hot apple pie.. it's just gonna end up with.. [ puts it all in his mouth ] ..the warlords! Now, with a broad-based international military force, we can make sure that the McRib sandwich.. [ grabs one and places it on someone's tray ] ..gets to the people who need it. [ picks it up and gobbles it anyway ] Can I get a Coke?
Secret Service Agent #1: Uh, sir.. I think we should probably continue your jog. We've only gone about an eighth of a mile.
Bill Clinton: Alright. You guys up for a real run?
Secret Service Agent #1: Yes, sir.
Bill Clinton: Race you to Pizza Hut!
[ Clinton runs out of the McDonald's, as the Secret Service agents follow right behind him ]
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