Who Was The Shittiest Mets Closer of Them All?

I was always a little partial cuz of our shared name.

What if we implanted the desire to blow a close game....in his dreams???

I didn't make this one, but I found and decided I couldn't do better for a Braden Looper image. He's Peter Criss by the way. And by the way, time may have forgotten that double blown save against Pittsburgh, but I haven't.

quick quiz, a picture of a random Met fan from the upper deck or Met closer and son of Sanitation Worker John Franco?

misunderstood, but not by Paul O'Neill.

Mario Joyner is Not Bigtime Enough to Bigtime his fans

Here's a pic of comedian Mario Joyner, eating, appropriately, alone at the new M Street Kitchen in Santa Monica (happy hour $6 for burger/fries $3 for a beer ya heard?). Mario Joyner, star of 1991's "Hangin with the Homeboys." Mario Joyner, the man who bigtimed the biz at Santa Monica's wildly overrated Father's Office bar two years ago. Mario Joyner, a man who should have been grateful that the biz even recognized him. Here's his website. 

"You, Us, We Now?"

new knicks ad

More like "You Know, We Blow"

or "First round chum for the Celtics or Heat at best"

Welcome to the Future and Have an Ice-Cold Pepsi at New Giants Stadium

The main story this morning on the New York Post's website was a breathless write-up of the "futuristic" and "far-out" features of New Giants Stadium, otherwise known as a giant air-conditioner with a giant ad for Pepsi-max on the side. (again, people thought the neon ballplayers on shea were tacky??)
Before diving into these features, keep in mind that the old Giants Stadium was only 34 years old, and was perfectly serviceable....for the average fan. This stadium was clearly not built with the average fan in mind, and from the inside, it looks almost exactly the same as the old place.

Anyhoo, back to the press relea---article:
"The new, high-tech features includes the creation of a mobile app, powered by Verizon Wireless, that will offer fans updated scores, team news, player information and highlights from around the NFL on their phones as they watch the game from their seats."
Live scores??? ON MY PHONE?!?!!??! "Ronald Reagan? The actor? Then who's vice-president? Jerry Lewis??"

"During games, the stadium's four large JumboTrons, powered by Cisco StadiumVision, will show live game footage and weather information."
Also, the stadium conveniently lacks a roof, allowing fans to peer at the sky for weather information. "Hey! Lookee at that giant tv, it says it's fucking cold and snowing outside!" 

"In another Jetsons-like twist, fans in the stadium's 200 luxury suites will be able to order food and merchandize through touch-screen TVs mounted in their suites."

The hallowed name of the "Jetsons" dare not be invoked lest we are talking about cars that transform into briefcases and self-dog washing machines. What's more decadent? Ordering your food off a computer as if you were at your desk ordering seamless web after another 14-hour day at the office killing it? Or having someone called a "waiter" answer to your beck and call and dutifully bring what food you tell him to bring you?

"When fans enter New Meadowlands, they are going to feel like they're stepping into the future," John Mara added.

 

Can us fans just go to a game and sit in a seat and watch a game? Or does everything have to be a hard sell?

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Even noted Middle Eastern scholar Donald Al-Trump is against the downtown mosque! EVEN DONALD TRUMP! What else will it take to convince you falafel-eating, Ted-Kennedy-worshipping, Wind-Turbine-Spinning, bike-riding learjet liberals?!!?! 

 

Is there such a thing as Jets pride?

The hunch - the beers - the jersey -- it says it all.

At least next year, our camo-hat-and-under-hoodie-wearing-walrus-stache-rocking-walking-man has this to look forward to...
that's right, our new stadium is an air conditioner.

Stay Classy

True story. Coachie, the wife, the sis-in-law and the nephew went down to dazzling Disneyland in Anaheim this past Saturday. Outside the gates was a furious man futilely being calmed by his girl. Furious because he had been denied admission into the land of endless wonder. Why was he not allowed in? Well, this chump was wearing a USC t-shirt that read on the front "BUCK THE FUCKEYES!" Chumpy got up that morning, gathered up his girl, envisioning exchanging pounds with Mickey, chowing down on churros, riding the tea cups, rocking the mouse ears, and generally indulging in the sound of childen of all ages laughing all while showing his deep disdain for Ohio State. What a clown. He'll probably file a lawsuit and win but ah well.

Unfortunately, yours truly couldn't grab a picture. Instead I offer this pic taken by the almighty Bizman at Dodger Stadium a few weeks back. Either Dodgers security flunked reading comprehension or do little to maintain a family environment. Oh, guess what? He was alone. I know. Stunning.