The Superiority of the Soccer System of Promotion and Relegation over our Fixed Franchise System

Column I have up at a site devoted to England's lower leagues about how the league system of promotion and relegation found abroad is more democratic than what we have in place here where franchises can move on a whim. Long story short, if we had the system in place here that's in place in most of the world, the Brooklyn Dodgers would still be in Brooklyn.

Bromeo and Julian Redux

Bromeo et Julian. Bro.

Too Fast For Love Too Furious For Forgiveness: Vin Diesel and Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson in "Bromeo and Julian."

Why Couldn't It Have Been Hulk Hogan? The Macho Madness Ends, and a look back at the Macho Man Miss Elizabeth Wedding.

Prefer to look back at the good times. The following moment was perhaps the best and the worst, the blurst if you will.

"I'm 82 years old." "Some Might Say 82 years young!" "Up your ass"

Eventually, every clip ever makes it onto youtube. Here's one the Big Dood saw years ago and not again since, a grizzled World War II putting a peppy morning news whippersnapper in his place.

Dante's New Inferno: Colonel Sanders Abyss of Fried Chicken Preparation aka Inferno Sauce

A heretofore uncharted by Dante level of hell, where Colonel Sanders toils in a beige-and-gray colored abysss doomed to forever coat mutant chickens in a batter most foul. 

Does anyone find anything remotely realistic or enticing about that picture? Fucked. 

Marseille Sportages

Boule (similar to bocce) requires the simplest sporting area I've ever seen- a patch of flat dirt. (The Central Park Conservancy would love this, no grass to worry about, and minimal upkeep.) Phenomenally, they call these Boulodromes (perhaps this is what Krang does in his free time?)



Or, if that court (pitch?) is too lowbrow and/or near traffic for the local boule-r (because, you know, it's only in the shadow of a ONE THOUSAND YEAR OLD CHURCH), perhaps this is a more acceptable spot- a Boulodrome IN A FORT, WITH A CUTOUT OVERLOOKING THE MEDITERRANEAN (couldn't get it in the pic, but trust me, it's there).



Then, after a tiring, sweaty afternoon of bouling, cool yourself off here:

Arnold Schwarzenegger Maria Shriver Divorce Cheap Photoshop Gag

Plenty More Where That Came From

I can't get enough. Gimme more of these beats.

The Assaut Continues

This should fire you up for a Monday morning. (The title, loosely translated, means "My Man".)

Say Hello To My Parisien Friend

Who do I trust? me, that's who.



Catchin wreck in Marseille:



Catchin something else:

Francais Hey

A damning statement on the state of French rap- spotted through a runoff grate outside the Louvre:


However, still keeping it real (French):


Who knew Onyx was still at it, sailing in the south of France?

Mario Joyner is Not Bigtime Enough to Bigtime his fans

Here's a pic of comedian Mario Joyner, eating, appropriately, alone at the new M Street Kitchen in Santa Monica (happy hour $6 for burger/fries $3 for a beer ya heard?). Mario Joyner, star of 1991's "Hangin with the Homeboys." Mario Joyner, the man who bigtimed the biz at Santa Monica's wildly overrated Father's Office bar two years ago. Mario Joyner, a man who should have been grateful that the biz even recognized him. Here's his website. 

Marseille-Hey

Back from France.


I keep dancehall strong.


Would it be worth going back to Marseille next week just for this concert? Judging from this banger (c/o MZA), it may just be.

Osama Bin Laden is Dead, but Bin Laden Weed Lives On

Mane check this shit out we was up in Chicago right
With my n---a big hamp the n---a pass me a blunt
Like smoke this shit n---a this some bin laden weed
Y'all don't know nothing bout this down south
What the fuck is bin laden weed its three different
Kinds of weed all grown together that shit some straight killer
Them Chicago n---z call  it bin laden mane some straight fire

[chorus 4x's]
Who got that hydro
Who got that light green
Who got that Bobby brown
Who got that laden weed