Monday, June 27, 2011

Lookalikes: Mexico coach Jose Manuel de la Torre is the Evil Mario Lemieux

as recognized by the King of Finding Lookalikes, Al K. Mza.

For what it's worth, there were 93,000 fans at the Rose Bowl Saturday for the U.S.-Mexico final and only 40,000 at Dodger Stadium that same day for Angels-Dodgers. Which one is the niche sport?

Friday, June 24, 2011

Iman Mohamed Abdulmajid and Iman Shumpert: Is it bad when your team's draft pick shares the first name with one of the world's most beautiful supermodels?

I don't have an answer, but at least Iman Shumpert is a fun name to say.

Well, thanks for all the memories, "Teflon" Donnie Walsh. What a legacy, what a rebuilding job. By this time next year, with no draft pick in 2012 thanks to the brilliant Tracy McGrady trade, Carmelo's gonna be looking around at Amare limping around on gimpy needs, Iman Shumpert, Landry "Furds" Fields and start begging for a trade to Brooklyn.
I made this two years ago, everyone pictured is still involved with their respective team, and each team is still mediocre. Co-inky-dink?

Thursday, June 23, 2011

The Big Man: Awesome Photos of Clarence Clemens




I'm not pro-Boss. I'm not anti-Boss. I'm ambivalent Boss. He's got some good tunes, and Clarence Clemens was on most of 'em. Wonder how Mad Dog's taking the news.

Monday, June 20, 2011

Kinda Sorta Lookalikes: Danny Noonan from Caddyshack and U.S. Open Golf Winner Rory McIlroy

N-n-n-n-noonan.

P.S. It's always U.S.Open of Golf. Emphasis on the "of golf." There's only one U.S. Open. 

Thursday, June 16, 2011

So The Boston Bruins Beat the Vancouver Canucks for the Stanley Cup last night

Either these two canuckleheads are really torn up about Vancouver's loss last night, or some hoser just snatched the last crueller from Tim Horton's.

Monday, June 13, 2011

Haters Want to Hate, Lovers Want to Love: Misinterpreting LeBron James, He's Just Saying What Tupac and Cam'ron Already Told You

Peoples are mad at LeBron because they think he made fun of poor people or was condescending or some shit when he said this after yesterday's loss:

“All the people that were rooting me on to fail, at the end of the day they have to wake up tomorrow and have the same life they had before...They have the same personal problems they had to today. I’m going to continue to live the way I want to live and continue to do the things that I want with me and my family and be happy with that...They can get a few days or a few months or whatever the case may be on being happy that not only myself, but the Miami Heat not accomplishing their goal,” James said. “But they’ll have to get back to the real world at some point.” 


But instead of being mad, peoples should be propping LeBron for speaking some stone cold truth. "The Decision" as a tv show was a shitty tv show, but to get mad at LeBron for choosing Miami or to get mad at LeBron for not being as big of a competitive asshole as Jordan or Kobe is the ultimate hypocrisy; to ask or expect something of someone else that you wouldn't ask or expect of yourself.

Why hate LeBron? For our selfish need to have a "story" when watching games that don't involve our team? That's our problem. LeBron is saying that all that hate, all that negativity directed towards him and the Heat is worthless. Live your life and let LeBron live his. If you watch basketball, watch basketball, but don't invest your emotional well-being in the acts of strangers.

No less than two Goddz are with LeBron here.
Tupac, "Don't You Trust Me?"
Question me about my whereabouts that's so trivial 
Let me live my life and you can live yours
Cam'ron, "Live My Life"
Leave me alone, let me just live my live, ah
Just leave me alone, leave me alone
Let me just live my life ah


Thursday, June 02, 2011

I Used to Get It In Ohio: Jim Tressel Photoshop Up at Cleveland Frowns

Good pieces by Frowns here and at Cleveland Scene on how wack the Jim Tressel sitch is. Up above is the photoshop that ran, below is an attempt I made at making an "invisible" like on filmwise, which is really, really, really hard. Cap's off to the dudes who make those things.

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

The Superiority of the Soccer System of Promotion and Relegation over our Fixed Franchise System

Column I have up at a site devoted to England's lower leagues about how the league system of promotion and relegation found abroad is more democratic than what we have in place here where franchises can move on a whim. Long story short, if we had the system in place here that's in place in most of the world, the Brooklyn Dodgers would still be in Brooklyn.

Friday, May 27, 2011

Friday, May 20, 2011

Why Couldn't It Have Been Hulk Hogan? The Macho Madness Ends, and a look back at the Macho Man Miss Elizabeth Wedding.

Prefer to look back at the good times. The following moment was perhaps the best and the worst, the blurst if you will.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

"I'm 82 years old." "Some Might Say 82 years young!" "Up your ass"


Eventually, every clip ever makes it onto youtube. Here's one the Big Dood saw years ago and not again since, a grizzled World War II putting a peppy morning news whippersnapper in his place.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Dante's New Inferno: Colonel Sanders Abyss of Fried Chicken Preparation aka Inferno Sauce


A heretofore uncharted by Dante level of hell, where Colonel Sanders toils in a beige-and-gray colored abysss doomed to forever coat mutant chickens in a batter most foul. 

Does anyone find anything remotely realistic or enticing about that picture? Fucked. 

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Marseille Sportages

Boule (similar to bocce) requires the simplest sporting area I've ever seen- a patch of flat dirt. (The Central Park Conservancy would love this, no grass to worry about, and minimal upkeep.) Phenomenally, they call these Boulodromes (perhaps this is what Krang does in his free time?)



Or, if that court (pitch?) is too lowbrow and/or near traffic for the local boule-r (because, you know, it's only in the shadow of a ONE THOUSAND YEAR OLD CHURCH), perhaps this is a more acceptable spot- a Boulodrome IN A FORT, WITH A CUTOUT OVERLOOKING THE MEDITERRANEAN (couldn't get it in the pic, but trust me, it's there).



Then, after a tiring, sweaty afternoon of bouling, cool yourself off here: