Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Scenes from Opening Day.

Bobby V Defies Bud Selig, Sneaks into Shea Opener

Clemens Struggles With Decision, Hot Dog, Nachos or Burrito. Decides on All Three, Adds Sausage.

Pedro Breaks Wrist Waving to Fans

Shea Stadium Groundskeeper and Usher Storm Field...oh, wait..

Barbara Bush Tosses Out First Pitch for Astros
"She's Really Let Herself Go." sez Roy Oswalt
"Barbara Means To Eat, and Bush means ennnnnh!" sez Borat

Morganna "the kissing bandit" Makes Triumphant Return to Bigs
Wade Boggs, reached for comment, sobs "I'm Bald."

Minnesota Twins arrive from Distant Future
"Mediocre Baseball" is their gift from far-off time

Thanks, Beautiful

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