Thursday, July 08, 2010

The 40/40 Club is Soulless and Hollow Just Like Jay-Z; Why LeBron Should Not Come to New York

 The above ad was from Monday's Daily News (not to be confused with L.A.'s own sominex-on-wax which somehow snatched the web handle away from Morty Zucks).

I didn't realize International Hov took his interior design inspiration from Bounce Deuce. The ESPNZone is dead, long live the ESPNZone!

Does this picture evoke the glamour that LeG.O.D.D. is supposed to experience by coming to the Knicks or Nets? Do they not have a B.J.'s Pizza in Bath?

Frownie's already been all over Stupid Time and made the more-than-convincing case for Cleveland while eviscerating all the media junk out there. Frownie's most convincing argument is that a LeBron title won right for E.199 and Eternal would be monumentally more meaningful than one won for Madison Avenue.

Not all titles are created equal. Wade's won one in Miami which will be remembered for shady foul calls and not much else. Those short-suffering Miami fans celebrated and quickly reverted their attention back to Techno Music, cuban coffee and Tha U (can you blame them, tho?)

Years ago, driving back to Manhattan after some sticks, I stopped at the Mobil station that's on the Grand Central Parkway. Ron Artest was filling up his giant Escalade at the pump two over from me. I yelled out, "You gotta come to the Knicks!" He replied with a wry, knowing smile, "I know man, I know."

Ron-Ron yearned to go home and play for his team. Most players never get that chance to do that AND make the most money. Then again, imagine how fucking cool it would be to hang at the 40/40??


cannatar said...

From my removed perch of basketball ignorance, both New York and Cleveland seem like reasonable choices.
The Miami dream team, on the other hand, seems like a terrible decision.

Bryan said...

This post is amazing.

coachie said...

Remember when the biggest, brightest young star in baseball chose the Texas Rangers??

is the removed perch of basketball ignorance a leather-bound room in the Metropolitan Museum of Art where George Will and Will Lietch sit exchanging factoids from Bill James' Baseball Abstract? And the only snacks available are those intriguing peanut-butter filled pretzels?