Iman Mohamed Abdulmajid and Iman Shumpert: Is it bad when your team's draft pick shares the first name with one of the world's most beautiful supermodels?

I don't have an answer, but at least Iman Shumpert is a fun name to say.

Well, thanks for all the memories, "Teflon" Donnie Walsh. What a legacy, what a rebuilding job. By this time next year, with no draft pick in 2012 thanks to the brilliant Tracy McGrady trade, Carmelo's gonna be looking around at Amare limping around on gimpy needs, Iman Shumpert, Landry "Furds" Fields and start begging for a trade to Brooklyn.

I made this two years ago, everyone pictured is still involved with their respective team, and each team is still mediocre. Co-inky-dink?

The Big Man: Awesome Photos of Clarence Clemens

I'm not pro-Boss. I'm not anti-Boss. I'm ambivalent Boss. He's got some good tunes, and Clarence Clemens was on most of 'em. Wonder how Mad Dog's taking the news.

Diggin in tha Crates: Shitty Album Covers - Paul McCartney II

Kinda Sorta Lookalikes: Danny Noonan from Caddyshack and U.S. Open Golf Winner Rory McIlroy

N-n-n-n-noonan.

P.S. It's always U.S.Open of Golf. Emphasis on the "of golf." There's only one U.S. Open. 

So The Boston Bruins Beat the Vancouver Canucks for the Stanley Cup last night

Either these two canuckleheads are really torn up about Vancouver's loss last night, or some hoser just snatched the last crueller from Tim Horton's.

Lou Gehrig Teaches Us How To Take A Fucking Load Off After a Ballgame

via Uniwatch and the Life Magazine archives

Haters Want to Hate, Lovers Want to Love: Misinterpreting LeBron James, He's Just Saying What Tupac and Cam'ron Already Told You

Peoples are mad at LeBron because they think he made fun of poor people or was condescending or some shit when he said this after yesterday's loss:

“All the people that were rooting me on to fail, at the end of the day they have to wake up tomorrow and have the same life they had before...They have the same personal problems they had to today. I’m going to continue to live the way I want to live and continue to do the things that I want with me and my family and be happy with that...They can get a few days or a few months or whatever the case may be on being happy that not only myself, but the Miami Heat not accomplishing their goal,” James said. “But they’ll have to get back to the real world at some point.” 


But instead of being mad, peoples should be propping LeBron for speaking some stone cold truth. "The Decision" as a tv show was a shitty tv show, but to get mad at LeBron for choosing Miami or to get mad at LeBron for not being as big of a competitive asshole as Jordan or Kobe is the ultimate hypocrisy; to ask or expect something of someone else that you wouldn't ask or expect of yourself.

Why hate LeBron? For our selfish need to have a "story" when watching games that don't involve our team? That's our problem. LeBron is saying that all that hate, all that negativity directed towards him and the Heat is worthless. Live your life and let LeBron live his. If you watch basketball, watch basketball, but don't invest your emotional well-being in the acts of strangers.

No less than two Goddz are with LeBron here.
Tupac, "Don't You Trust Me?"
Question me about my whereabouts that's so trivial 
Let me live my life and you can live yours
Cam'ron, "Live My Life"
Leave me alone, let me just live my live, ah
Just leave me alone, leave me alone
Let me just live my life ah

How Do You Want It? How Does It Feel?

A Heartwarming Scene of Staggering Adorableness: Mister T Gets a Kiss from Nancy Reagan

via this gallery at the Guardian

Amazeballs Mix: Blood Bros First Blood and Blood Bros Mix 2 Heaven 2 Hell. Train! Fight! Die?!

The second's even better than the first. Ultimate props and p-p-pounds on the artwork.
Blood Bros First Blood available here.

Blood Bros II Heaven 2 Hell available here.

I Used to Get It In Ohio: Jim Tressel Photoshop Up at Cleveland Frowns

Good pieces by Frowns here and at Cleveland Scene on how wack the Jim Tressel sitch is. Up above is the photoshop that ran, below is an attempt I made at making an "invisible" like on filmwise, which is really, really, really hard. Cap's off to the dudes who make those things.

The Superiority of the Soccer System of Promotion and Relegation over our Fixed Franchise System

Column I have up at a site devoted to England's lower leagues about how the league system of promotion and relegation found abroad is more democratic than what we have in place here where franchises can move on a whim. Long story short, if we had the system in place here that's in place in most of the world, the Brooklyn Dodgers would still be in Brooklyn.

Bromeo and Julian Redux

Bromeo et Julian. Bro.

Too Fast For Love Too Furious For Forgiveness: Vin Diesel and Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson in "Bromeo and Julian."

Why Couldn't It Have Been Hulk Hogan? The Macho Madness Ends, and a look back at the Macho Man Miss Elizabeth Wedding.

Prefer to look back at the good times. The following moment was perhaps the best and the worst, the blurst if you will.

"I'm 82 years old." "Some Might Say 82 years young!" "Up your ass"

Eventually, every clip ever makes it onto youtube. Here's one the Big Dood saw years ago and not again since, a grizzled World War II putting a peppy morning news whippersnapper in his place.

Dante's New Inferno: Colonel Sanders Abyss of Fried Chicken Preparation aka Inferno Sauce

A heretofore uncharted by Dante level of hell, where Colonel Sanders toils in a beige-and-gray colored abysss doomed to forever coat mutant chickens in a batter most foul. 

Does anyone find anything remotely realistic or enticing about that picture? Fucked. 

Marseille Sportages

Boule (similar to bocce) requires the simplest sporting area I've ever seen- a patch of flat dirt. (The Central Park Conservancy would love this, no grass to worry about, and minimal upkeep.) Phenomenally, they call these Boulodromes (perhaps this is what Krang does in his free time?)



Or, if that court (pitch?) is too lowbrow and/or near traffic for the local boule-r (because, you know, it's only in the shadow of a ONE THOUSAND YEAR OLD CHURCH), perhaps this is a more acceptable spot- a Boulodrome IN A FORT, WITH A CUTOUT OVERLOOKING THE MEDITERRANEAN (couldn't get it in the pic, but trust me, it's there).



Then, after a tiring, sweaty afternoon of bouling, cool yourself off here:

Arnold Schwarzenegger Maria Shriver Divorce Cheap Photoshop Gag

Plenty More Where That Came From

I can't get enough. Gimme more of these beats.

The Assaut Continues

This should fire you up for a Monday morning. (The title, loosely translated, means "My Man".)

Say Hello To My Parisien Friend

Who do I trust? me, that's who.



Catchin wreck in Marseille:



Catchin something else:

Francais Hey

A damning statement on the state of French rap- spotted through a runoff grate outside the Louvre:


However, still keeping it real (French):


Who knew Onyx was still at it, sailing in the south of France?

Mario Joyner is Not Bigtime Enough to Bigtime his fans

Here's a pic of comedian Mario Joyner, eating, appropriately, alone at the new M Street Kitchen in Santa Monica (happy hour $6 for burger/fries $3 for a beer ya heard?). Mario Joyner, star of 1991's "Hangin with the Homeboys." Mario Joyner, the man who bigtimed the biz at Santa Monica's wildly overrated Father's Office bar two years ago. Mario Joyner, a man who should have been grateful that the biz even recognized him. Here's his website. 

Marseille-Hey

Back from France.


I keep dancehall strong.


Would it be worth going back to Marseille next week just for this concert? Judging from this banger (c/o MZA), it may just be.

Osama Bin Laden is Dead, but Bin Laden Weed Lives On

Mane check this shit out we was up in Chicago right
With my n---a big hamp the n---a pass me a blunt
Like smoke this shit n---a this some bin laden weed
Y'all don't know nothing bout this down south
What the fuck is bin laden weed its three different
Kinds of weed all grown together that shit some straight killer
Them Chicago n---z call  it bin laden mane some straight fire

[chorus 4x's]
Who got that hydro
Who got that light green
Who got that Bobby brown
Who got that laden weed

Mario Balotelli Super Euro Nike Ill Kicks Commercial

In honour of Bizman's Euro adventures comes a super Euro advert. Don't click on the related youtube links unless you want to delve into the world of Italian hip hop and techno. Ziti.

Over the Fucking Top

Hagar. Stallone. "The Winner Takes it All." We're all winners. via biz a few months ago.

The Best Part of Waking Up

from this Flickr page

Guardian Photoshop Contest for American Takeover of Arsenal Produces Gems

Your pal Coachie had nothing in the latest Guardian photoshop contest about Stan Kroenke's takeover of Arsenal, the brilliant image above rightly won this round. The rest of the entries are also amusing.

An Amazing Portrait of Mob Boss Joseph "Big Joey" Massimo by the Courthouse Artist Duo of Andrea and Shirley Shepard

His face, a soupy ragu of resignation and contempt. His froggy neck, a sad reminder of our petty rejection of Bill Bradley. His track suit emblematic of the mafia's, and our, loss of sartorial style. The increase in society's pop culture interest in the mafia over the past 10 years is converse to the mob's ability to entertain. Would John Gotti ever be painted looking this bad?
And just who painted this masterpiece? The secret superstar mother-daughter team of Andrea and Shirley Shepard, profiled in this New York Times piece.This portrait should hang in the Museum of Modern Art, because that's exactly what it is.

Y'all Ready For This?

Tha Shiznit.

Beastie Boys Celebrate Release of New Album Hot Sauce Committee Part Two With Video Starring Everyone Ever

Stuy High represent.

via The Offside Rules

After A Millennia of Terror, Stretching Across the Cosmos from Cybertron to the Planet Earth the Mighty Megatron has Been Killed

Megatron kinda looks like Chris Tucker. From the Post.

Where's My Burrito?

What a waste.

Your Predictions for the 2011 New York Mets

For all of 2010's crap, the Mets actually finished with 79 wins, so I figured they can't be as bad as last year, but then you take another look at that rotation, and realize that Reyes will be gone and that Santana won't be back, and, well, I say 75-87.

What say you?

Kinda Sorta Lookalikes, It's All About the Cheekbones

Should the Yankees Trade for Johan Santana?

photoshop credit: Tirico Suave

By Al K. Mza, unable to post directly:

Should the Yankees trade for Johan?

Think about it, Wilpons are broke, he’s due to make 20 mill plus over next three seasons, and Yankees need pitching depth. How about one of the Yankees catcher prospects, plus a minor league/draft pick poopoo platter for getting Santana’s obligation off the Amazins? Brian Cashman has swayed away from these mega signings in the last few years, but what if Johan comes back healthy and CC opts out at the end of this season? At the very least it would make Suzyn Waldman go insane. This isn’t a crazy idea is it?