Friday, September 17, 2010

The 1970's: The Golden Age of Every Pop Culture Genre

It's Friday, you've reached the end of the internet. You're out of pieces to read, your go-to rotation of sites is as exhausted as Big Pelf. Panic sets in. It's only mid-morning, and the balance of the day yawns before you.
 We've all been there. Here's a fantastic piece by Todd Van Der Weff of the A.V. Club that will occupy minutes-upon-minutes of fun, a tour of the great sitcoms of the 1970s. All in the Family, Taxi, Barney Miller, Good Times, and Sanford & Son just some of the jewels that emerged from funky times. For me, Barney Miller stands out as a lost and underrated classic. Abe Vigoda slays, and the opening theme song features and impossibly funky bass-line. The video excerpts chosen for the piece are killer, I highly recommend the WKRP in Cincinnati scene where Loni Anderson (Burt always had good taste) and Herman Hesseman almost get down.

The twin beauties of growing up in pre-internet age were syndication and a handful of channels on the teevee. Thus, a young coachie had no choice but to peep all these classics on channels 5, 9 and 11. Today, in the internet age, we have access to everything yet nothing unites us, pop-culturally. These great shows already lived on far beyond their time, but the time when they are remembered is already drawing to a close. Inevitable.

The piece also covers a couple of lost gems, like Bridget Loves Bernie, about an Irish Catholic who falls for a Jewish cab driver. Freddie Coups should keep an eye out for his alma mater P.S. 6 in the intro where the Bridget character works. In this clip, wait for the 1:44 mark for the "Zoinks! Sitcom Premise" moment.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Rafael Nadal Completes Career Grand Slam; Es El Rey de Reinas; El Maestro del Melbourne, El Centro del Corte de Centro, y Popa del Paris

 Rafael Nadal, at only 24 years young, completed a career Grand Slam by winning the 2010 U.S. Open over a game but frail Novak Djokavic last night. Fred Perry, Don Budge, Rod Lever, Roy Emerson, Andre Agassi, and Roger Federer are the only other men to have won all four Grand Slam Tournaments in their career.

A major asterisk, though, for my main man Jimmy Connors. In 1974, Jimbo won the Aussie, Wimbledon and the U.S. Open, but was barred from entering the French Open because he had signed up with the fledgling World Team Tennis League. Moreover, Connors is the only man to win the U.S. Open on all three surfaces that it has used; grass and later clay in Forest Hills and then hardcourt in Flushing Meadows.

Does Nadal's achievement cheapen R-Fedz' same Career Slam, achieved last summer at Roland Garros?To quote John Starks, "No question." But for my lucci, I'd take Federer at his height and in his pomp. To paraphrase my man S-Boomz' thought on R-Fedz from Saturday night, his game is too beautiful to live. It's remarkable that Fedz reign was as long as it was, what with his one-handed backhands and exquisite netplay. Modern tennis, with its increased speed, power and insane world travel eats its stars. In doing so it robs us of marquee match-ups. Without longevity, tennis must constantly produce new stars as the current ones flame out by 25, and because that is impossible its popularity suffers.

 I watched last night's match online through the U.S. Open web site. They used a different camera angle than the tradish 3/4 angle on CBS. The stream was much lower to the ground, almost putting us at eye level with the players and made for much more exciting viewing. For all the changes to teevee technology there have been almost none with the camera angles with which sports are televised.
 That's Rafa Nadal's sister. Que Bonita.
I went to the Open on Friday with Pop Dukes and Coups, got to see Rafa, Fedz and Bryman's gurrl Venus practice up close as they all practiced side-by-side outside Arthur Ashe. They're all metronomes.
My main man Jimmy Connors, I still own his replica metal-framed racket. In 2005 I attempted a Connors-esque haircut, which is pretty much the same haircut John Ritter rocked on Three's Company, but for me, it was bad company.
 On the Billie Jean King United States Tennis Association National Tennis Center grounds (that's a mouthful!), there's a bizarre statute of a tenny-playing dad with his kids. The dad looks a lot like George H.W. Bush, no?
 When they reminisce over you. Or, Killa Hills, 11375.

Finally a note on  Arthur Ashe Stadium. I heard gasbag Dick Enberg repeatedly refer to this dump as a "grand arena." It is a high-school football stadium expanded to 23,000 seats. From the outside it's horrific, what with the grotesquely exposed seats of the upper tier and the watered-down Camden-Yards motif on the halfway built facade except it's not even brick but tile. What is it with the modern trend of exposing the backs of the seats rather than have the facade reach the top? And, of course, there is no roof. Tradition-bound Wimbledon has a roof at Centre Court. Rod Laver Arena in Melbourne has a roof. The French are installing a roof at Roland Garros. What's the holdup? The Open is a cash cow. This is the third year in a row that the Men's Final was postponed to a Monday. On the broadcast we heard that, once again, the Open was not prepared for a postponed final and so most services were lacking. Big Dood was there all day and reported that nary a drop of beer was to be found. That's no way to enjoy the tennis.

If Arthur Ashe had a roof from day one the Nets could have been balling it up all these years in front of full houses. The Isles could be skating there, avoiding bankruptcy or worse at the Coliseum. Billy Joel would have someplace to warble in the winter. Helen Marshall could give a series of speeches where she'd explain what exactly her job is and why she is paid hundreds of thousands of dollars for it.

Monday, September 13, 2010

Meet the 2011 Mets, The Same as the 2010 Mets aka B.O.H.I.C.A.

Let's take a guess at the 2011 Mets and see if we can get pumped.
C: Josh Thole
1B: Ike Davis
2B: Luis Castillo (perhaps sprinkled with .200 hitter Ruben Tejada)
SS: Jose Reyes
3B: David Wright
LF: Jason Bay (considering the Met history with concussions, Ryan Church, David Wright, Bay, etc, shouldn't the team be trailblazers and mandate that they all use the new Gazoo-type helmet that will protect players significantly better? Bay suffered his in the field, but still)
CF: Carlos Beltran aka Carblows Blowtran
RF: Angel Pagan
Rotation:
1. Johan Santana aka Blowhan Can'tana whenever he returns next spring, certainly not in April.
2. Jon Niese
3. Mike Pelfrey aka Big Fucking Pelf aka Fucking Big Pelf
4. R.A. Dickey; who has, at the very least, earned a shot at starting again next year but really, how can he keep this up?
5. P.P. Scrapheapo (the P.P.  is for poo-poo)
Closer: Bobby Parnell?
Manager: Someone cheap yet able to energize the chump fan base aka Lee Mazzilli
Sprinkle a couple of retread reclamation bench players and there you go. Not much to get pumped for, eh?

Tuesday, September 07, 2010

The Price of Apathy

I don't know about you, but yes, I save my ticket stubs-to everything. Baseball, basketball, movies, even museums -for the prices they charge, I figure I should have some keepsake. During a recent trip back home, I discovered my piles of stubs, loosely organized by year. They're a nice reminder of happier times, better teams and one's travels. I've been to two Expos games over two separate seasons, and they lost to the Marlins each time -and the one Habs game I attended was an unconscionable loss to the Panthers. Also included was a memorable Red Sox-Phillies tilt at the Vet, my first experience with Philadelphia and its portly, surly denizens. There were fun croo trips to Fenway, the Jake and PNC as well. But all those stubs only account for a small portion of the total collection.

Then there are the Mets tickets. Some good times (99-01), some bad times (02-04), with a slow chronological buildup in volume. The optimism of 2005 led to a build-up, as I attended close to ten games. I rode the wave in 2006 to the tune of around fifteen games, as well as my first two postseason tilts -the memory of Sean Green botching a routine fly ball by the fence still haunts me to this day. Unfazed by a terrible end to the postseason, the Mets had me, as I went to over 20 games, including one of the first Phillie statement games in which Carlos Beltran let a ball sail over his head for a Jimmy Rollins triple. Mercifully, I was not at that fateful final game, but my buddy Mike was, and this poor guy had to endure not only Beltran's hypno-job at the plate in Game 7 in 2006 but also Tom Glavine's bid for the all-time poop the bed moments in sports history in 2007. By 2008, I was already a little more cautious, but still attended around ten games. I was there for the last pitiful out at Shea, a Ryan Church ball that appeared to tie the game for a nanosecond but landed harmlessly in the glove of the center fielder. Suffice to say, I wasn't particularly thrilled at the onset of the postgame tribute to the ballpark -why it wasn't held before the game still baffles me- but I eventually warmed to the sight of the greats, including my late 90s heroes. Mike and I went down the ramps for the last time, slowly taking in the ballpark and wondering how many times we'd see the team in the new ballpark 20 feet away.

The rest is history. I don't need to chronicle the 2009 Mets or the plethora of deficiencies at CitiField. I went to around five games last year and four so far this season. The impromptu "hey wanna go to the ballgame tonight?" is dead. Maybe its because I'm older (24, going on 25, that rounds to 30!). Maybe it's the end of the $8-15 ticket. I do know the team's thoroughly mediocre play has to contribute, especially when it starts to compound on itself. This year's team will finish with around 75 wins. Next year might top at 81. Maybe they'll win 85 in 2012. I'll still be watching the games, but I am certainly not forking over the cash to sit in obstructed seats in an a shopping mall trying to pass itself off as a ballpark. And I'm certainly not the only one. Mike -two years my junior- hardly goes to games anymore, and the cameras on SNY don't lie. It's too bad the practice of gate counting went the way of the separate league offices, because I'd love to have the real attendance numbers, not the ticket-dump inflated numbers we see today.

So what are the ramifications of this? Ballpark revenue isn't the bottom line for an owner, but it offers a glimpse into the marketability of a team, as people who go to games probably buy caps and shirts to wear while attending them. And if fewer families are attending, what happens to future generations of children during their formative years? How do you build generational bonds with your fans to keep the juices -and money- flowing? You've got your work cut out for you, Jeffrey Coup.

Saturday, September 04, 2010

Give Us Something, Anything.

 Another lost season for the Mets, but does it have to to be completely lost? Can't we get a glimmer of hope for next season? First start this past Saturday for Jenrry Mejia, and surprise, it sucked. What's on tap for 2011? More mediocrity, more meaningless games by the break.

Still waiting for a homegrown Met pitcher to be halfway decent (fuck you Big Pelf).

Thursday, September 02, 2010

Of Minnows and Men: Euro 2012 Qualifying Preview

Got a preview of some of the opening matches of Euro 2012 qualification up at EPLTalk.com, including the battle between ancient non-rivals Ireland and Armenia.

Darryl Strawberry Left His Heart in Los Angeles

But now he's living in Chelsea, for only $5,300 a month! Also, he's 48 years old. Why'd he move to New York? To open Strawberry's Sports Grill, in Douglaston, one of those rare places where you can get a burger and watch the big game on a big flatscreen.

Wednesday, September 01, 2010

My name is Drago. I'm a fighter from the Soviet Union. I fight all my life and I never lose. soon I fight Rocky Balboa, and the world will see his defeat. Soon, the whole world will know my name; Also Scenes From Venice Handball.

Drago Restaurant in Santa Monica.
FINally saw The Expendables........I guess I built it up too much in my head, it could never live up to my expectations. Arnold ruled, Dolph ruled, Stone Cold ruled, Stallone ruled. But Eric Roberts sucked and, ahhh, it just wasn't fun enough. 
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Saturday played 2 hours of intense American Handball against the Mexican Mister Miyagi pictured below. My man B-Town and myself lost a close first game, then beat him the next two. There's no big mystery to American Handball, especially the California 3-wall version. A savvy veteran like Mexican Mister Miyagi barely has to move if he's mastered hitting the ball in the right spot to glance off one of the side walls.  It's still fun but doesn't compare to Chinese. American Handball is like a bean-n-cheese burreetz, satisfying as mere sustenance, but Chinese Handball is like a chile relleno burrito--art.
 Dignity. This dog's owner has robbed him of it.
 This truck's grill is why They hate our freedom.
Aint nothing wrong with this tho;
Finally, Sunday was a big day, won the Chinese Handball Championship Belt back, convincingly, 9-4.

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Take This Take This, Hold This Hold This, How Do You Pitch?; Also, Chicks Dig The Long Ball


The Daily Snooze takes a momentary break from inducing slumber to droppp this ill slideshow of ill baseball grips. Worth a peep except they include R.A. Dickey and Tommy "I'm Not Devastated" Glavine for some reason.
Would love to see a similar photo essay for our stickball grips. The Miz and I could fill a book by ourselves, I imagine that Cannatar, the Biz and Bryman have boring tradish grips.
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Thursday, August 26, 2010

You Wanna Front, What? Jump Up and Get Bucked.........Your Nine Spray, My Mind Spray

I saw Jeru in, like, 1999, at the GameStop on Broadway and Astor peeping the new NHL game, weird until you consider that his origin is unknown like the Jubas.
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While searching for the perfect 9mm Glock pic of 9mm, I came across what appears to be Russell Brand laying deep in the cut waiting for Katy Perry to come home. 
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Also came across Gucci Mane's cuzz who gives us Evil Pimp, who's all up on his renaissance religious imagery.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Manchize's Only True Love is Football reports Jamie Lynn Sigler; Also, David Beckham's Goldenballs Shine Brighter in Person

 
The Manchize only has eyes for football and is a total dork, as reported in the New York Post.  

Have to wonder tho, how comfortable Sanchez was enjoying Turtle's sloppy leftovers, especially considering that he was breaking off Hillary Rhoda at this time last year:
 

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I've designed a new image to go with Jesse Chula's weekly "Footballer of the Week" column over at EPL Talk. Here is the final along with two also-rans I created.
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Finally, and most importantly, I saw David Beckham on the street last night here in Santa Monica. He's even more ravishing and dreamy in person. He truly is Goldenballs. We were on an empty street and he str8 ice-grilled me harshie-style, maybe he thought I was paparazzi.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Welcome to the Future and Have an Ice-Cold Pepsi at New Giants Stadium


The main story this morning on the New York Post's website was a breathless write-up of the "futuristic" and "far-out" features of New Giants Stadium, otherwise known as a giant air-conditioner with a giant ad for Pepsi-max on the side. (again, people thought the neon ballplayers on shea were tacky??)
Before diving into these features, keep in mind that the old Giants Stadium was only 34 years old, and was perfectly serviceable....for the average fan. This stadium was clearly not built with the average fan in mind, and from the inside, it looks almost exactly the same as the old place.

Anyhoo, back to the press relea---article:
"The new, high-tech features includes the creation of a mobile app, powered by Verizon Wireless, that will offer fans updated scores, team news, player information and highlights from around the NFL on their phones as they watch the game from their seats."
Live scores??? ON MY PHONE?!?!!??! "Ronald Reagan? The actor? Then who's vice-president? Jerry Lewis??"

"During games, the stadium's four large JumboTrons, powered by Cisco StadiumVision, will show live game footage and weather information."
Also, the stadium conveniently lacks a roof, allowing fans to peer at the sky for weather information. "Hey! Lookee at that giant tv, it says it's fucking cold and snowing outside!" 

"In another Jetsons-like twist, fans in the stadium's 200 luxury suites will be able to order food and merchandize through touch-screen TVs mounted in their suites."
The hallowed name of the "Jetsons" dare not be invoked lest we are talking about cars that transform into briefcases and self-dog washing machines. What's more decadent? Ordering your food off a computer as if you were at your desk ordering seamless web after another 14-hour day at the office killing it? Or having someone called a "waiter" answer to your beck and call and dutifully bring what food you tell him to bring you?

"When fans enter New Meadowlands, they are going to feel like they're stepping into the future," John Mara added.
 
Can us fans just go to a game and sit in a seat and watch a game? Or does everything have to be a hard sell?
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Even noted Middle Eastern scholar Donald Al-Trump is against the downtown mosque! EVEN DONALD TRUMP! What else will it take to convince you falafel-eating, Ted-Kennedy-worshipping, Wind-Turbine-Spinning, bike-riding learjet liberals?!!?! 
 




Monday, August 23, 2010

Stay Classy, Don Sterling, Also The Clippers Just Took Some Ecstasy (Aint no tellin what the side effects will be); Morever, Michael Cage is a Handsome Man; Finally Darius Miles proves Motorhead right in that the Chase is Better Than the Catch.


Not the same ecstasy that Dr. Dre took. Ecstasy is defined as fighting for the 9 place in the crowded west. The Lake Show, the Spurs, the Dunn-der, the Utah Mountain People, The Nuggs, the Blazzze, the Mav-Nots, the Dunns, plus the Hornets, the Rockets and the Grizzz, where exactly to the Clips fit into this picture?
Better view of the new Clippers unis, why is the wordmark so low on the jersey??
 Just let your soul. glow.
The NBA should have created a three-on-three halfcourt league for players like Darius Miles who clearly had skillz that needed to be seen and showcased, just not skillz that worked in the NBA