Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Fuck the Knicks

All Around American Hero Brandon Jennings, or a righteous impostor, told Joe Budden, of all people, "Fuck the Knicks!" for passing him up in the dridaft.

I won't venture to guess if 'Giuseppe' Jennings is the Truth or just a bowl of pasta primavera, but I'll join him in a hearty "Fuck the Knicks."

Donnie Walsh's naked plan from day one has been to move money to make room for LeBrawndo (it's what chumps crave). Plan B is Dwayne Wade. Plan C is Chris Bosh. Plan D is a carton of Kools, a beachfront condo in Boca and Peace! C Ya Later cuz Plan D sure aint building an actual basketball team.

Sure, Isiah Thomas made his fair share of mistakes, but let's not forget he stepped into the poo-poo-platter that Scott Layden whipped up for him. Layden's last draft, in 2003, produced Michael "Hittin Up Sizzler Sure Would Be" Sweetney and Maciej "I Love" Lampe. Layden's last move before being fired was signing Dikembe "Who Want To Sex" Mutombo to a 2-year contract.

"Game Recognize Game."
Isiah proved this true, for he sure could spot talent in the draft. Sadly, he missed his true post-baller calling as a scout.

Perhaps the moves that best sum up his reign are drafting Trevor Ariza "From Your Grave" (forced, I know) and subsequently trading him for Stevie "I Single-Handedly Caused the Demise of the Vancouver Grizzlies By Exposing the Inability of a Smaller-Market Canadian Team to Compete because of the Currency Exchange Rate, Tax Issues and General Ignorance Regarding Vancouver's Winter Weather and thus Indirectly Fueling the Second Lakers Dynasty of the Decade Via Ariza and the Pau Gasol Trade" Francis.

So we got Donnie Walsh to replace Isiah. He's done a good job of getting rid of some of the shitty contracts on the roster, but he's been plain about his disinterest in actually rebuilding the franchise in favor of a naked grab for Lebron in 2010. Unless Al "Wrinkled Dome" Harrington, Larry "Ill Street" Hughes, and Tim "Oh? A Lazy Three? I'll Pop That" Thomas are the future. If they are, sign me up for SkyNet.

Now, the load of crap the fans of New York are told time and time again, in every sport, is that this town just don't have the patience for rebuilding. But the alternative, ten years of middling mediocrity, is so much worse. For to make the NBA Finals is divine, to make the playoffs is iiiite, to nab a top lottery pick is genuinely hopeful, but to finish around 30 wins year after year and pick between 7 and 11 is just, well, middling mediocrity.

Sure, LeG.O.D.D. could end up in N.Y., but there are plenty of good reasons why he won't, as astutely pointed out by Frownie, and if indeed he says "Wait, I'm not gonna leave $30 mil on the table plus leave Skyway Burgers and Bath, Ohio behind," then what?

You get the bad feeling we'll be seeing D-Wade, rotten knees and all, rocking the orange-and-blue-and-black, sending shudders to those of us with longer memories of the sad codas of once-sensational slashers; Mitch "Richie" Richmond on the Wiz, Dominique "I Preferred Gerald" Wilkins on the Celts, Glen "Allah-Be-Praised, You Seen His Wife??" Rice on the Knicks, Latrell after the 99 Finals run, etc.

So yeah, no offense to Jordan Hill, who could turn out to be the next John Wallace or a decent forward (positions they sorta already have filled with Wilson Chandler and David Lee if he stays), but "Fuck the Knicks," which is basically what Pete Vecsey said this past weekend with a typically brilliant column.

Gawd-Damn! Single-handedly giving meaning to Roger Daltrey's refrain "hope I die before I get old," Could this even be the same man? What happened to the granite chin? The steel gaze? I mean, that pic from UNC is borderline JFK, Jr. while the recent pic is a melting Paulie Walnuts. Fuck and fucked.


The Mza said...

great post, couldnt agree more.

Anonymous said...

Well said, Goomz. Thing is: rebuilding is fun. NYC does have the patience for delayed gratification. Mets fans remember '86. Yanks fans remember '96. Time is a weird thing. In hindsight all is forgiven. Rebuilding is foreplay, and according to the books I've been reading on how to pleeaze the lay-deeze, foreplay is fun!!

Cleveland Frowns said...

is that a youcantfademeagle that i hear?

larry "ill street" hughes


Cleveland Frowns said...

Jeez, that Vescey piece is fantastic.

coachie said...

yeah, when vescey feels his oats, which is rarer and rarer these days, he really comes throo. Does any other newspaper in the country have as many excellent haters as the NY Post? Vescey, Mushnick, Sherman. An excellent three I'd stack up against any other haters out thrrrr.

the weirder thing is that his brother, George Vecsey, is almost the complete opposite, as befits his employment at the NY Times he is an esoteric, polite writer into soccer and cricket.