Thursday, July 02, 2009

Who Let the Doggs Out?; or They Shoot Horses, Don't They?

Michael "Please Don't Forget the Dopeness of My Brother Marcus" Vick has served his time. He spent 19 months in prison, most of it in the infamous Leavenworth pen. He has repaid his debt to society as ordered by law.

Yet NFL Commish Roger "Make Sure Shit Sell" Goodell is currently contemplating an additional penalty as steep as a one-year suspension for the first opposing QB to tread the frozen tundra of Lambeau Field for a playoff game and trudge off a winner. As an aside, I believe Frownie correctly called that game for the Falcs.

Many believe Goodell should impose just such a harsh suspension. In January, Peta's president, Ingrid Newkirk, sniffed, "Saying sorry and getting his ball back after being caught enjoying killing dogs in hideously cruel ways for many years doesn't cut it." She went so far as to suggest to Goodell that Vick undergo brain scanning for irredeemable psychopathic tendencies!

Ms. Newkirk shrilly opines that, "With behavior as aberrant as Michael's, we worry (Such a Warren Worrier! Such a Nervous Nancy!), despite our wish that it were otherwise, there is scant reason for optimism." A real terminal case, doc.

"Despite our wish," Ohhhh, please spare us your fake concern; you can't publish a publicity-seeking, shit-slanging letter repeatedly labelling Vick an incurable maniac and at the same time express hope for the alternative.

If Vick is so irredeemable, perhaps the loss of his fortune and19 months in Leavenworth were not enough. Perhaps a lobotomy is in order. Maybe, just maybe, Ms. Newkirk, he should have been put down behind a curtain on the track, just like a race horse. Just like....Eight Belles.

Now, it's partially true, playing NFL football is a privilege, not a right (although Maurice Clarett was right), but again, Michael Vick has served the time he was given.

And while it's true that if Goodell imposes a suspension, Vick would be free to pursue a career in Canada, Austria, or face the ominous glare of Jim Fassel in the United Football League, but if Goodell truly believes in Law and Order, he would believe in redemption. He would believe in the redemptive message that being allowed to play NFL football would send.

For we either lock up our criminals for life, kill them, or believe that they can be redeemed.

What kind of message to our nation's felons does Goodell send if he suspends Vick for a year?
Fuck off, good luck finding a job, in short, you're not wanted.

Chuckles Gooodell should know a thing or two about redemption. His father was New York Senator Charles Goodell. Chuck's political career was built entirely on death. He first joined the House of Representatives via a special election to fill the seat of a deceased Congressman. Therein he served until RFK caught the Gat, whereupon he was selected to serve out the remainder of RFK's senatorial term. Democracy in America, eh? Anyhoo, Goodell's final Governmental service was to vice-chair President Ford's committee to draft amnesty rules for draft evaders. Aka redemption.

Roger Goodell's own wife, Jane Skinner, knows a thing or two about redemption, after all, she dared affront our nation's airwaves by saying the word "cock," but her career keeps humming along.

In all seriousness, cut the bullshit, Goodell, and let Vick play. 'Twould send a far more positive and enlightening message than suspending him would.

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