Tuesday, October 13, 2009

LazyNDaLaz Dayz

This could be a portrait of any newsprint sports columnist in America. It is Bill Dwyre.

One of the hardest parts of leaving New York is losing access to the New York Post. Now, the LA Times is a perfectly fine newspaper, perhaps even underrated when considering the generally weak state of big city dailies today. The paper does hard news well. But a man cannot exist on trouble in Tehran and investigations into water-main breaks alone. A man needs a lively and light-hearted sports section. Internet sites/blogs cannot compete against the big newspapers in hard news, but it's easy for them to outshine a daily's sports and entertainment sections which are mostly based on opinion and conjecture. As youngster Freddy Coups points out, sports blogs have made sports sections near-irrelevant, and he has since dropped his daily newsprint habit.

Sports Guy has highlighted the reasons why the big papers can't compete, what with their union rules and ties to longstanding writers. Hence, we get the cavalcade of chumps that hog the columnist pages of our nation's dailes. A typical example is Bill Dwyre of the LA Times. This past Friday, in the wake of the Angels' 2nd win against the BoSox he wrote of how the Angels were erasing their hex against Boston's cop-looking corps. Already we have the overdone chump angle of "curses." Not content with this chump point he exhumes poor Donnie Moore to make his belabored point.

"Now, so sadly, figuratively and sordidly, every Red Sox victory since [1986] had seemed like another nail in Moore's coffin."

Figuratively? Thanks, Dwyre, I thought that after Game 1 of last year's ALDS, Yooooouuuuuuullllllk held the flashlight while Tacoby Ellsbury dug up Moore's grave while Terry Francs held the nails betwixt his teeth.

Sordidly? I guess if the above scenario were true then yes, but, well, now I'm just confused. Let's just leave it at that this column is FUCKED, and shows just how awful a sportswriter can be when he tries to get grandiose in illustrating a stupid point.

We can get lazy opinions on any sports blog. What we need is investigative writing, or writers who actually leave their seats to write a story, like Jerry Crowe's column today on Wilt Chamberlain's super-sexy house.

Our sports pages need to change quick. they need to heed the advice of 3-6 Mafia and get "CrazyNDaLazDayz."

1 comment:

Bryan said...

You are simply killing it, my friend. This is great.