Footie Fever

 So I'm in the process of preparing a World Cup guide. Here is a preview .pdf, it is a massive file, Freddie Coups helped out, take a look if you have time. (Scroll down to the middle of the page).
Also wanted to put my predictions on paper (virtual paper), please add yours in the comments.

group a: mexico, s. africa
group b: argentina, south korea
group c: england, algeria
group d: germany, serbia
group e: netherlands
group f: italy, slovakia
group g: brazil, ivory coast
group h: spain, chile

round of 16
1st bracket:
mexico v. south korea: mexico
england v. serbia: england
holland v. slovakia: holland
brazil v. chile: brazil
--
mexico v. england: england
holland v. brazil: brazil
--
england v. brazil: brazil

2nd bracket:
germany v. algeria: germany
argentina v. south africa: argentina
italy v. cameroon: italy
spain v. ivory coast: spain
--
germany v. argentina: germany
italy v. spain: spain
--
germany v. spain: spain

brazil v. spain: spain

not very bold choices I know, but the last stages of the World Cup have never really produced surprises. Competitive imbalance.

Is Lady Gaga a Met Fan?

 We already know most of the famous Met fans. Glenn Close (so classy), Jerry Seinfeld, Kevin James (stop yelling at me), Viggo Mortensen (would a Viggo/Figo movie pairing literally burn the screen?), Matthew Broderick (poor guy has to root for the Mets AND sleep with a horse), Julia Stiles (met her outside a Knick game, very nice, shawter than the Mets reign on top), Marc Anthony (the only human being skinnier than BK Wallstreet), Julian Casablancas ("ohhh, we're the Strrrrrrrooooookes") and Kelly Ripa (perhaps the only human being hotter than my proposed Viggo/Figo pairing).

Can we now add Lady Gaga to this list? Only the biggest hitmaker in the world right now? The inheritor to Madonna's throne? Can the fucking paparazzi let her watch the Mets and Padres in peace?

 It's Gaga's world, we just pay rent in it. She may have feelings for the Mets, but she can't be tied down, after all, she's a "free bitch, baby."

Rando Gems; also, Please Don't Ice Me Bro

Struggling to finish a massive, top-secret project done. So here's some rando magic.

 And the story of the day is "icing." Grown folks say stop the violence. Brosicingbros.com
Anybody remember full extensions?

Photo Gems from Life Magazine

B.F.D.; Big Fuckin Deal

First you wanna step to me
Now your ass screamin for the deputy
They send you to Charlie-Baker-Denver row
Now they runnin up in ya slow
You're gone, used to be the Don Juan (Check that shit out!)
Now your name is just Twan

Worst Call Ever?

As you've surely heard, Armando Galarraga was one out away from a perfect game when umpire Jim Joyce made a shockingly bad call on what was clearly an out at first base.

I was curious about how long Joyce has been umpiring in the majors, so I did a Google search (you may need to click to see the full image):

Lakers Celtics A Photographic Journey Through Forgotten Awesomeness

Fatburger in the 1970s; other treats from the LA Times photo vaults.

I copped a bunch of photo books from the lie-brary and scanned in a bunch of dumb-dumb ill schtee that I'll be posting throughout the week. Hope youse enjoy.
Also, I want to express my thanks that my Memorial Day plans to head down to San Deegz to peep the Mets fell through.

Ron Artest Makes Craig Saeger Rep for Q Boro Mad Thoro

 From a bricked three to the game-winning put-back after an athletic sunning of Jason "My Jersey Number is As Uninspired as My Nickname" Richardson, Ron "The Hardest" Artest is E-Z to love.

After the game Craig Saeger tried getting all serious downer talk about RonRon's failed three with a full 24 to dribble out.

Artest: "Say Queensbridge."
Saeger (sheepishly): "Queensbridge."

Artest out.

Up there with Manny receiving his 2004 World Series MVP.
“I love you, I love you."

Also, "Thunder" Dan Majerle is a Dunns assistant coach.

The No Garlic No Onion Revolution

No Garlic. No Onion. Is it too much to ask? I don't think so. Somewhere, Chez Boomz is aghast.

The New A-Team Movie Looks Terrible

 Derek Jeter's playing Murdock?

Also, Liam Neeson looks impossibly bored, almost...almost as if he's waiting for the check to clear.

C.T.C.

Super Bowl in New Jersey with Steve Serby-Bot T2000

Frankly, it's hard to get too worked up about the Super Bowl being awarded to New Jersey. It's one of those events that have absolutely nothing to do with us. It's like when the All-Star Game was in the Bronx two years ago, the Biz and I got a couple of those drawstring backpacks out of it from a booth outside Grand Central, that was the extent of our engagement.

Of course, the media went into apocalyptic fits about it, because they are always ravenous for something, anything, to talk about. But for all the radio hours, all the reams of newsprint and all the squinting at screens, there is only one column to read on the issue.

It comes from an ED-209-esque out-of-control Steve-SerbyBot T2000. From today's Post: (Note, two lines are not from today's column)
----
Babe Ruth happened here.

Twenty-seven Yankee championships happened here.

Sinatra happened here.

Chesley Sullenberger happened here.

The ball drop on New Year's Eve happens here.

Trump happens here.

Letterman happens here.

Me dipping my balls in a Chinatown whore's unwanting mouth happens here.

Everything big happens here.

Finally, the Super Bowl happens here, Super Bowl XLVIII in 2014, and you can't spell justice without the i the c and the e....

We never really cared weather or not the wimpy killjoys and fear-monger naysayers favored the idea of a Supe BRRR Bowl. They have officially been frozen out of the conversation...

Showtime. Or Snowtime. Our time.

Brett Favre. Jet Favre. Broadway Brett. Super Brett?

Vintage New York City Stickball Photos

Vintage both in age and in the Bizman's gussying up of them in photoshop. The Schoolhouse one is amazing.

I shaved

Once I realized I would never reach this level (Beach Boys bumout) my beard came right off:

One day.

Welcome to the Terrordo----errr, Shea Dome

 From the always-excellent Uniwatchblog.com, the mid-1960s proposal to turn Shea Stadium into a dome. Would have been super-strange. And considering how poorly domes across the country aged, could have hastened Shea's replacement. Thankfully, many powerful people rose up in opposition to the plan, including William A. Shea himself, based mainly on the argument that the baseball fan deserves to watch a game in the fresh air.
-----
What's the over/under on Johan Santana's win total this year? 13?
I can picture the scene last night in Santana's hotel room.
3AM. Tossing and turning. Can't get the thought of staying in Minnesota out of his head. Competing for a title every year. Wasting the tail end of his prime and beyond on an embarrassment of a team. He turns to his left he sees Virgil. He turns to his right, Ted DiBiase. He bolts out of bed, runs to the bathroom to splash water on his face, he looks up into the mirror and sees Bone Thugs N Harmony singing ominously, "Foe da love of money."
He calls Beltran, first thing they exclaim in unison, "You had the same dream?!?!?"

This Time We're Gonna Win

(Would have embedded this, but it cut off the right side, and it deserves better.)

Killin's as easy as breathin'.

Awesome Wedding DJ Gets Super-Down with Phil Collins

When you're feeling it, you're feeling it.

Don Fabio Capello and the Return of Jose Mourinho in Puppet Form

Got this image posted at eplTalk.com today in a piece by Jesse Chula about England's World Cup squad selection.

Also, absolutely fantastic news reported by eplTalk that "Special 1 TV" featuring Jose Mourinho, Wayne Rooney and Sven Goran-Eriksson in puppet form hosting an absurd talk show, is returning with new episodes this summer. Puppets make me laugh, going back to the days of "Spitting Image."

Basement Jaxx "Where's Yoru Head At?" Sample of Gary Newman "M.E."

Color me naive, but I'm always shocked when to hear the source sample of ill beats. Always figured more work went into it than just speeding it up and fucking with the EQ (whatever that is, but apparently Dre broke new ground with EQ on "Aint Nuthing but A G Thang")
Here's Gary Numan's "M.E." the source for the massive Basement Jaxx banger "Where's Your Head At?" The breakbeat is the essence of hip-hop while the bass is stone cold.

Beautiful But Mandatory New New York State License Plate

It's been a general downhill slide for New York State license plates, from the simple orange-with-blue lettering of the late 70's/80's to the white-with-Statue-of-Liberty-in-the-middle of the 90's to the bland hard-to-see montage/mish-mash of images that's in current use.

New York State is now forcibly fazing in these beauties over the next two years. The color scheme is a tad-off, looking more like West Virginia or Michigan, but the use of color is heartily applauded, nothing is more anonymous or bland on the road than white.

Of course, this being New York State, the plate's introduction is being used as an excuse for revenue generation. In a time of great economic duress, rising taxes and fees, all drivers will be required to purchase the new plates when their registration comes up, with an extra fee to keep your current number. Stay Classy, Governor Shelly Sil---er, Patterson.

Download Free World Cup eBook featuring Simon Kuper, Tommy Smyth, Rebecca Lowe and others

 Including cover artwork by yours truly. Free downloadable e-book available at eplTalk.com
Remember,