Full Respect to Uncle TNUC

There are a lot of blogs/tumblrs that sort through pop culture's detritus. This is one of the iller ones. Worth going through a few pages to peep all the sweet gems.
http://uncletnuc.blogspot.com/

It's not a clock but you'll always know what time it is. 

Encourage words for men like me. And could that bear/wolf be any more down?

"Sounds like my house, heyyyyyyyyyyy!"
-Ray Romano/Kevin James/Jim Belushi/Tim Allen/Tony Danza

Imagine being so in tune with nature that everytime you got that familiar itch in  your throat  a hawk or some ill bird would come swooping down to quench your unholy thirst. 

Attacking TJ Simers of the LA Times for Attacking Major League Soccer and David Beckham

as posted on majorleaguesoccertalk.com

In the waning days of print media, an old, enfeebled sports columnist for a major metropolitan daily shakes his fist limply at soccer to remind readers exactly why they left newspapers behind in the first place.

The Los Angeles Times is the fifth highest-circulating daily in the country and fading fast. Take a look at their roster of sports columnists. You’ll see that there are not many of them. Their average age makes Sir Alex Ferguson look cherubic. And they are just as bland as their dot-matrix portraits.

The paper once had a dedicated and great soccer writer, Grahame L. Jones, but he retired. The hole left by his departure has been filled with days-and-weeks old game recaps. At latimes.com, under the sports heading, readers can choose from the following sub-topics, “Dodgers, Angels, NFL, Ducks/Kings, USC, UCLA, College Football, Preps, Scores/Stats.” Good luck finding their soccer coverage.

Into this void stepped T.J. Simers, 61, who penned an asinine assault on David Beckham and soccer at large. Titled, “You name it, the Galaxy's $250-million man hasn't been worth it: It's five years later, and soccer still is nothing but an afterthought in Los Angeles,” it ran on Tuesday.

In his lede he harps on the dollar value of Beckham’s contract, as if Beckham were paid with taxpayer money. Why aren’t other hobbies cursed with the small-minded and pathetic obsession over how much stars earn? Do people care how much Drake makes, or Nic Cage’s per-movie gross, or what NBC pays for Saturday Night Live’s Kenan Thompson? Of course not, they just want to tip their cups to “I’m On One,” mock-plead “Not the bees!” and get rid of SNL’s dead weight. Sensible adults know that celebrities, athletes included, make their huge sums because of us, the fans and not from pilfering from the public purse or from putting a gun to anyone’s head. If we didn’t go to the concerts, if we didn’t watch the movies, if we didn’t go to the games, and if we didn’t spend $80 for uncomfortable ad-laden stretchy-fabric replica shirts then the stars of stage, screen and stadia would be clipping coupons.  

So Simers thinks Beckham’s salary is a sin. And Victoria Beckham is “…the well-known wife who looks like she has to live in a posh palace to be happy.” Nevermind this point’s lack of relevance for any self-respecting sports fan, Simers’ deep insight is that the rich enjoy being rich.  Maybe Victoria Beckham should drag the stone of shame up and down Rodeo Drive to please Simers.

Like most lonely people, Simers equates his personal experience with universal experience. Beckham did not speak with Simers, thus Beckham spoke to no one. And because Simers doesn’t watch soccer, well, then no one watches soccer.

It’s hard to analyze the rest of his column, because it descends into the incoherency common to megalomaniacs, as when he revealingly writes, “I replied [to Tim Leiweke, of the L.A. Galaxy ownership group] that I would take an interest as soon as Becks became available for a sit-down interview.”

Why should anyone having anything to do with the beautiful game, or any game for that matter, talk to a supposed professional who writes such unprofessional and ignorant drivel like, “Best record [the Galaxy’s regular season performance over the past few years] in L.A. for what? Being the team that no one cares about? If so, that would tie them with the Kings,” and cribbed Jay Leno gags like, “Did you know there's going to be an arrival celebration for the MLS Trophy Cup, with the Cup getting a police escort? You can just imagine how proud a cop will be to tell his wife: ‘Honey, I put my life on the line today for a paperweight.’"

Is it worth listing the leaps and bounds that soccer has made in this country in just 16 MLS seasons? Is it worth pointing out that the L.A. Galaxy averaged more than 23,000 a game this season, almost 2/3rds that of the Dodgers (at a much higher base ticket price to boot)? Is it worth telling Simers that NBC will broadcast MLS games next season? Is it worth having a pint with Simers on an early weekend morning standing cheek-by-jowl in the Ye Olde King’s Head in Santa Monica for a slate of games? Is it worth inviting Simers for a drive on a sunny southern California Saturday afternoon to point out all the barren baseball diamonds next to the soccer pitches teeming with players young and old?  

No, it’s not worth it. T.J. Simers is a cheap instigator. He accomplished his goal. He got more than 100 comments for his nonsense and thousands more hits. But any attention he received for his paper only served to remind readers why they stopped reading it in the first place. As recently as 2000, the L.A. Times had a circulation of one million, now it tenuously sits at a little more than half that.

The internet is the commonly blamed culprit for the death of newspapers. But newspapers have mainly themselves to blame. Just because no one is buying the physical paper every day doesn’t mean they aren’t reading the news, judging by the popularity of news aggregator sites like yahoo. Unfortunately, newspapers were slow to establish decent web presences. And even today, many papers have poorly designed sites that merely replicate the limited Associated Press content of their physical editions.

Content was king and will always be king. People who want interesting sports coverage visit sites and blogs like deadspin, theoffsiderules, every day should be saturday, soccer by ives, baseball prospectus, sports by brooks, and the epl talk family of sites just to name a few. People who want celebrity gossip or pop culture news visit sites like film drunk, the superficial or tmz. Many of the most popular sites are coarser than what existed before this century and there is no doubt that hard news coverage has suffered immensely because of lesser resources. But sports and entertainment newspaper content never kept pace.

Open the L.A. Times sports section today and you’ll find a meager five-page section filled with stale game recaps, staler box scores and one or two opinion columns from their roster of has-been reactionaries. Of those meager five pages, one or two will be devoted to high school sports, this, in the country’s second biggest city and in a city filled with transplants. The main page may have a color picture, the rest will be black and white and have the same milquetoast graphic design as twenty years ago. And the paper remains a broadsheet, making it a chore to read outside in a city where it is 70 and balmy in January.

And with all that, they wonder where all the readers went while wasting what little sports content they offer spitting in your face for daring to enjoy soccer.

"I'm Calling it Shea" Corporate Stadium Naming Rights Trend Invades the Premier League

My latest for epltalk. Newcastle's St. James' Park is being renamed Sports Direct Arena. But the companies don't pay us anything to call a stadium what they want. We're under no obligation to keep track of mergers and acquisitions to find out what the new name of a stadium is every year. How many names has the S.F. Giants' ballpark had? Anyone know which cities the American Airlines Arena and the American Airlines Arena are in? Isn't easier if we just refer to new stadiums as "(team name's) stadium" and old stadiums by their old names?

"I'm calling it Shea" t-shirts available at the excellent nomas.com

My David Silva Photoshop in the Guardian

As featured in this Guardian gallery.
David Silva is killing it for Man City, who recently eviscerated Man United 6-1. In response, Sir Alex has pulled Wayne Rooney back into the midfield. And Rooney's not above advanced hair surgery techniques.

"Bitch, you without me is like Harold Melvin without the Blue Notes, you'll never go platinum" Snoop Dogg, Doggy Dogg World Intro

Rick Ross (baws) can boast all he wants, clearly, Harold Melvin and the Blue Notes are the Boss of all Bosses, er, Bosses of all Bossessess. Also, the hardest looking law firm of all time. Also, Teddy Pendergrass is still clearly glaring at the Mza. Also, the babyfaced dude with the bow tie is the odd man out. Also, Harold Melvin aka Eddie Murray.

Transsexual Member of European Parliament

he/she needs to sue his/her doctor

ill crispy vintage pictures of Jim Jones and Tupac hanging with Shock G.

Jones channeling R. Kelly's plaintive cry "braid my hair...."

pre-tattoos 

Uncle Luke Campbell of 2 Live Crew Threatens to Revoke Lil Wayne's M.I.A.M.I. card; also Steve Serby on Pats-Giants

Luke Campbell, still pulling the strings in the M.I.A. Don't forget, in the video for "I'm On One," Lil Wayne, Drake, Rick Ross (Baws) and DJ Khaled are chilling in an empty loft in downtown Miami., drinking out of red dixie cups overlooking Biscayne Bay on an overcast day. Was Weez making a statement on the state of the greater-Miami area economy? Pick up the latest issue of Hip-Hop magazine to find out.
Also, is a Tupac sex tape scandalous if he's dead?
------
Steve 'SerbyBot 3000" Serby on yesterday's Giants win over the Pats.
SuperMann in Glendale, Ariz.,, SuperMann in Foxborough, Mass.

The advanced software of SerbyBot is set to cut and paste the above sentence next week should the Jets beat the Pats as well. "Last week, SuperMann in Foxborough, today, Mark can be SuperSan in East Rutherford."

Mo Classic Album Covers from Ye Olde Record Shop. Yo.

If shit like this hung in the MoMA I would go. Well, not for $25 but I'd at least ponder the notion.

Simpson looks less like she's in love and more like she's been captured. But hard to not be enraptured by Ashford's Lion eyes. 

No jokes, that's just good looking art

Pssst, I think he's looking at you. And by you, I mean the MZA.

Fucking asshole. Even Mad Magazine wouldn't run that pun.

Kenny Rogers....or Bob Seger? Jeezo-Peezo, they're all laughing because they banged that chick before the show. Except the guitar player. He's looking at Kenny like, "What's so funny?"

Kenny Loggins' much cooler, much more mellow brother. Rocking the canadian tuxedo AND a ribbed turtleneck AND a  middle-part perm AND he's still like, "Whatever you wanna do, man, it's cool."

that is a lineup. 

No more Daylight Savings Time in England Could Make Soccer Watching Much Worse in America

New post up at EPL Talk. Stupid daylight savings time.

Vintage Handball and Ping Pong Books

Further proof of the Mza's all-time axiom, things weren't better back in the day, except for back in our day. Peep these champs. Remember the brouhaha over Tom Brady's supposed effeminate hair? These men brushed their hair, conditioned their hair, oiled their hair, teased their hair, permed their hair, fucking luxuriated in their hair, then went out, played some handball, slapped each other's butts, slammed 12-14 Budweisers then dipped their balls in gruyere fondue before driving home. Drunk.

I feel like I was the G in blue in a past life. Such form. You know he just hit a killer.

Dr. Who pinging that pong. Such supreme concentration.

Good Gawd! Did anybody ever do these drills?

Quick World Series Beard-Off, Now!

I was just going to post closeups of all the ill beards in this World Series but then I got a lil brazy. And if players are gonna keep it au currant with fashionable beards that would blend right in on Bedford Ave, why aren't they going back to 80's skinny baseball pants?

old man gray beard

dirty sexy crazy love 'stache

coming up small gettin overpaid by the yanks beard

ill chin strap beard

ace beard

Shook Santa Claus Beard

Boring Beard

Manager: [ stepping forward] Governor, I'm Kevin O'Brien, the manager, and I just want to thank you for dropping by - again. Bill Clinton: Well, thank you, Kevin. You've got a real American family place here. Is it too late for an Egg McMuffin? Manager: Well, we stop serving breakfast at eleven.. but for you.. Bill Clinton: Thanks so much. Manager: And should I check to see if I can scare up some of those sausage patties. Bill Clinton: You read my mind!

Clinton at McDonald's

Bill Clinton.....Phil Hartman
Secret Service Agent #1.....Kevin Nealon
Cashier.....Melanie Hutsell
Female Customer.....Ellen Cleghorne
Les Holmgren.....Chris Farley
Manager.....Tom Arnold
College Student.....Julia Sweeney
Male Customer.....Rob Schneider

[ President-Elect Bill Clinton and two Secret Service agents jog into a D.C. McDonald's ]

Bill Clinton: Alright, boys, let's stop here for a second. I'm a little parched from the fog.

Secret Service Agent #1: Sir, we've only been jogging for three blocks. Besides, Mrs. Clinton asked us not to let you in any more fast food places.

Bill Clinton: I just want to mingle with the American people, talk with some real folks.. and maybe get a Diet Coke, or something..

Secret Service Agent #1: Fine. But please don't tell Mrs. Clinton.

Bill Clinton: Jim, let me tell you something - there's gonna be a lot of things we don't tell Mrs. Clinton about. Fast food is the least of our worries.

Cashier: Oh, my God! It's Bill Clinton!

Bill Clinton: Hey, nice to meet you! How are you? [ walks up to a young mother ] That's an adorable baby. What's your name, sweetheart?

Female Customer: [ holding baby ] Her name is Shakira.

Bill Clinton: Now, that means "African Princess", doesn't it?

Female Customer: Why, yes!

Bill Clinton: Well, she certainly is beautiful enough to be a princess. Are you gonna finish those fries?

Female Customer: Uh.. no. Would you like some?

Bill Clinton: Well, if you're not gonna eat 'em.. [ grabs the fries and eats ] ..Mmm, these are good. Shakira, you take good care of your mom now.. [ moves on ] Hi, how are you? Good to meet ya! How we doing over here?

Les Holmgren: Les Holmgren. Holmgren Hardware. Voted for you, sir.

Bill Clinton: Thank you, Les. So you own your own hardware store?

Les Holmgren: Yes indeed, sir. Since 1972.

Bill Clinton: Well, good for you. You know, we want to create a network of community development banks that lend to small businesses like yourself. I see your boy doesn't like pickles.

Les Holmgren: Nah, he hates them!

Bill Clinton: You mind? [ grabs the pickles ] Attaboy! So, good luck to you. We're gonna wake up everyday thinking about you. Oops! Missed one. [ grabs remaining pickle ]

Manager: [ stepping forward] Governor, I'm Kevin O'Brien, the manager, and I just want to thank you for dropping by - again.

Bill Clinton: Well, thank you, Kevin. You've got a real American family place here. Is it too late for an Egg McMuffin?

Manager: Well, we stop serving breakfast at eleven.. but for you..

Bill Clinton: Thanks so much.

Manager: And should I check to see if I can scare up some of those sausage patties.

Bill Clinton: You read my mind!

Secret Service Agent #1: [ whispering ] Uh, sir.. maybe you'd prefer a McLean burger.. or the garden salad is very nice.

College Student: Governor Clinton? I'm a sophomore in college, and I may have to drop out because my parents can't afford tuition.

Bill Clinton: [ glancing at her tray ] Speak of the devil, that's one of those McLean sandwiches. Are those any good?

College Student: Would you like to try it?

Bill Clinton: Well, just a bite.. [ takes a huge chomp ] Mmm.. that's not bad! You know, my National Service Trust Fund would allow every student to.. [ grabs her soda ] ..mind if I wash it down? [ takes a sip ] Ahh! That hit the spot!

Manager: [ returning ] Your Egg McMuffin, Mr. President.

Bill Clinton: Thank you, Kevin. You have any of that sweet and sour sauce. You know, the kind that you dip McNuggets in?

Manager: For your McMuffin?

Bill Clinton: Or the barbecue sauce. Whichever.

Male Customer: You can use mine.

Bill Clinton: Great. Just pour in right on.

Male Customer: [ pours the sauce on ] I have a question.

Bill Clinton: That's it. Just pour it all on!

Male Customer: Do you support the decision to send troops to Somalia?

Bill Clinton: [ chews his McMuffin ] Mmm.. that's a good question. Yes, I do.. and let me tell you why. See, right now, we're sending in.. [ holds us McMuffin ] ..food.. [ puts McMuffin in front of Male Customer ] ..to Somalia.. but it's not getting to the people who need it because.. [ brings McMuffin back to himself ] ..it's being intercepted by the warlords.. [ chews McMuffin some more ] And it's not just us. It's other countries, too.. [ grabs a McNugget from another customer ] Your McNugget is aid from Great Britain.. [ takes it to other customer, then gibbles it down ] ..intercepted by warlords! [ grabs someone's Filet-o-Fish ] This man's Filet-o-Fish over here is relief from Italy.. [ pops it in his mouth ] ..warlords! And you can send all the food you want.. [ grabs different items ] ..a McDLT, hot apple pie.. it's just gonna end up with.. [ puts it all in his mouth ] ..the warlords! Now, with a broad-based international military force, we can make sure that the McRib sandwich.. [ grabs one and places it on someone's tray ] ..gets to the people who need it. [ picks it up and gobbles it anyway ] Can I get a Coke?

Secret Service Agent #1: Uh, sir.. I think we should probably continue your jog. We've only gone about an eighth of a mile.

Bill Clinton: Alright. You guys up for a real run?

Secret Service Agent #1: Yes, sir.

Bill Clinton: Race you to Pizza Hut!

[ Clinton runs out of the McDonald's, as the Secret Service agents follow right behind him ]

Adrian Beltre Game 5 Homer aka Somewhere in those Three and a Half Hours is a Great Two Hour Baseball Game

Suck for Luck Bowl

The Dolphins and Colts could each easily reach 0-16, leading to the inevitable conclusion of Roger Goodell, sitting somewhere in the Hamptons flipping a coin with Jim Irsay's mug on both sides. Just like how the Spurs landed Tim "Big Fundamentals" Duncan in the one year The Admiral sat out.

More fun idea, the Dolphs and Colts play a 17th game of the season for the first draft pick, maybe in Palo Alto with Andrew Luck nervously stroking his beard from a luxury box filled with concord grapes and ipads. Dolphs part-owner Marc Antony can do the halftime show on mute. If the Colts win, Peyton Manning can go to the Raiders to replace Carson Palmer, who in turn can return to what he does best; namely drinking lite beers and trolling the L.A. Coliseum parking lot for USC froshes (born in 1993 b-t-dubbs).

It would do quintuple the ratings of the World Series.

Why Watch the World Series?

Is a sport still major if no one watches it?

Why Ratings are Relevant:

Ratings for the just-concluded ALCS (4.4) and NLCS (2.9) were abysmal. Sunday's dreary Vikings-Bears match-up on Sunday Night Football drew a 6.6. The pre-game drew a 5.3. Forget football, the NBA Eastern Conference Final this past Spring between the Heat and the Bulls averaged a 6.2  The ALCS and NLCS numbers are even behind the Stanley Cup Finals. The numbers are trending down toward MLS Cup levels.  

It's not about small-market versus big-market. After all, last year's World Series between the fifth-largest market, Dallas, and the sixth-largest market, San Francisco, tied for the lowest rated Series ever. 

Now, in our modern sports culture, plenty of people absorb and follow sports without ever watching a minute of actual game action, which speaks to just how sick a hobby following sports is. (Imagine meeting a metalhead who says "Me? Oh no, I don't pump Maiden, I just read Metal Circus." or a cinephile who says, "Oh, I never go to the movies but I play box office fantasy and read Entertainment Weekly and Sight and Sound.")  But tv ratings are important because it means the vast majority of people do not want to see baseball actually being played. And while I don't suggest that baseball will disappear, it can continue to become more irrelevant in this country.

How much less fun would baseball be to follow without being able to share it with our fellow fans? How many of us are planning to get together to watch the World Series together? Compare that amount with the throngs filling the bars on Saturdays and Sundays (including those arising very early on those mornings to watch soccer). And if fewer people watch will fewer people in this country play? Where would the game be today without the 30% of players that come from abroad? 

High Attendance is a False Sign of Life:

Major League Baseball argues, through attendance figures, that the sport's never been healthier. 

Attendance is a terrible way to track baseball's health. People will always want to sit outside on a sunny day to inhale hot dogs and guzzle beers. The very existence of the minor leagues is a testament to the appeal of getting drunk under the sun. No one filling the Brooklyn Cyclones' ballpark is there for the baseball, well, except for the solo Bellevue escapees with yellow AM/FM walkmen, enormous 1980s eyeglasses, and greasy WFAN giveaway sweatshirts. All the new ballparks, for all their talk of optimum viewing angles are really designed to maximize our consumption while limiting our viewing of the game. "Listen, I'm gonna go grab some garlic fries, a donutburger, I'll be back in five innings."  Fuck you, Feed Me. 

Think of the way bars have evolved. When I was coming up in the booze game there were many old-man bars. Dark places where you could while away the daylight in boozy silence. Now, every bar has to have amusements, shuffleboard, fusball, trivia, beer pong for chrissakes. Even the old-man bars now have to have flatscreen tvs wallpapering the joint. You can't look deeply into the bottom of your pint without being distracted by the roast highlights on the eigth showing of SportsCenter. Shea was beautiful because there was little to do but watch the game. That era has passed, and it's largely for the sport's betterment because teams would be bankrupt if, like football, it had to rely on tv money. 

TV money is king, and without decent tv numbers we can genuinely be concerned about the long term health of the big leagues. Look at college sports, where perfectly healthy basketball leagues like the ACC and the Big East are being dominated by their football teams because despite the crappiness of the football in those two conferences, the football money dwarfs the basketball bucks. 

The Playoffs Insult Common Sense and Two Solutions:

So why watch this year's World Series on TV? There are two compelling reasons not to, one is the game's length the other is the format. A lot of attention in recent years has been on the late start time, so baseball moved first pitch up to 8:05. It doesn't matter when it starts, it matters when it ends. A friend of mine has a great quote, "basketball is about tempo while baseball is about tension." But there needs to be a baseline rhythm to the game, a rhythm that is sorely lacking in today's game. The biggest difference between watching a game today and one from 20 or 30 years ago is the stepping-out-of-the-box after every pitch.

This is easily solved by limiting the pitcher to one time off the rubber during an at-bat and limiting the batter to one time-out during an at-bat. Or leaving the matter entirely up to the umpire who would only be allowed to grant the batter a time-out after a brushback or near-beaning. This one rule change could shave 30-40 minutes from the game without changing how the game is played. This rule change will never happen, however, because it is to the owners' advantage to have long games because it means more time for the home fans to eat hot dogs. Short cheese, it's always the short cheese over long. 

The second problem is the postseason format. Baseball, for decades, had the most meritorious postseason format. Win your league, and advance directly to the World Series. Then in 1969 we got a League Championship Series and divisional play in 1995. 

The small divisions mean most fans don't follow teams in other divisions which means come playoff-time few teams have national followings. Moreover, the structure is fundamentally unfair in that an AL West team must only beat out three teams for a playoff spot while an AL Central team must beat out five. Worst of all, in many seasons, a non-playoff team finishes with a better record than a playoff team which happens to win a weak division. 

2008 is one example of many, the Mets, Marlins, Astros and Cardinals all finished with records as good or better than the N.L. West Champion L.A. Dodgers. Toronto would be a contender in almost any other division or in a bigger division format that awarded playoff berths on wins. Baseball once rewarded teams based on wins, now it rewards them based on geography. 

So if the postseason is not a meritocracy baseball may as well make arbitrary changes to force excitement. Changing every series to 5-on-5 would reward flukier teams (so what? The wild-card Cards, who finished six games behind the Rangers were rewarded with home-field) but it would make each game super-tense and would greatly increase the chance of a do-or-die Game 5. 

The two most popular postseason tournaments in American sports are the NFL playoffs and March Madness, which are both single-elimination. The last World Series Game 7 was in 2002. Baseball can't afford to have long gaps between Game 7s. Look at how Horse Racing has suffered in its Triple Crown drought. Plus, making each round best-of-5 could help competitive imbalance by making it easier for cheaper teams to compete. Teams like the Yankees and Red Sox have extraordinary depth. But in a best-of-5 system, teams could get by with less. 

Would it mean that the best team would not advance? Without a doubt, but that's the system we have now anyway. 

Are these ideas extreme? I don't think so. But in an era of ratings that approach hockey levels, the status quo is simply not good enough. 

Morning Cup of O.J.

Manchester United's David de Gea-----Donut Thief!

Weird story, up at EPL Talk.

That Certain Henchman Look: Tony Hawk and the ill German (Russian) Henchman from Die Hard Alexander Godunov

 Tony Hawk (brah), with that Robocop-esque forehead, the glazed blonde hair fluffing out in the back. Looks like that type-ill Henchman from "Die Hard."
Alexander Godunov who had that "look." Stole the show in Die Hard, and was in "The Money Pit," which is Peter Griffin's famous and righteous response to his family's harping on him for hating on "The Godfather." Godunov passed before his time in 1995. A blonde-beefy  showdown with Dolph Lundgren will sadly never happen. His epitaph reportedly reads, "His future remained in the past." What does it mean?? A fan of Gatsby perhaps.

sandra bullock?

It's Not Just Football...

"How many times do I have to tell you, IT'S NOT JUST FOOTBALL!! Now would you please get outta my room. I already told you I sent my resume to Uncle Frank last week, GOSH!"

Carlos Tevez Image for EPL Talk

And yes, that is a hair in the scanner and not artistic flourish.

Finn McCool's Irish Breakfast Sandwich at the Santa Monica Farmer's Market

On Saturday night I went to go see UFO. Took the bus down Santa Monica from the Strip only to be greeted by the sad sight of my local Taco Bell/Pizza Hut, closed as Prodigy's heart.

I made up for it the next morning with this monstrosity, the 'Irish Breakfast Sandwich' slanged by local pub Finn McCool's at the Santa Monica Sunday morning farmer's market.

 

That's right. Scrambled eggs, crispy bacon, thick sausage, crispy potatoes, all slathered in HP Brown Sauce. Apologies to the Miz for not hitting this up when you were in town a few months ago.