Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Big Fucking Pelf or Fuck Big Pelf?


It was, ohhh, about 15 years ago when The Biz, The Miz and I had our infamous debate over 'za and 15 cups of soda in the back of that free refill pizza place by Stuy. The Miz argued that a young stud named Andy Pettitte would turn out better than Jason Isringhausen. -pshaw-Biz and I scoffed. We're still waiting for a good homegrown pitcher, and for that soda to finish working its way through our system.
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Here's a site named The 7 line that will amuse you with Mets-themed shirts.
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Here's the first image from Moneyball;

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Insane 80's Japanese Heavy Metal (Is there any other kind?); Steer Clear of the Homicide BBQ; Baseball to the Groin


This is Loudness, a Japanese heavy metal band whose heyday was in the 80s. They feature the fine guitar work of Akira Takasaki, and fuck, it's pure madness.
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The July frost has finally given way to some semblance of summer here in L.A. (breezy and in the 60s!), and with it BBQ season. But you should prolly stay clear of something called the "Homicide BBQ"
(from the L.A. County Sheriff's newsletter):
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Whatever your thoughts on steroids in baseball, I think we're all agreed the game was better off when players looked like this.

Monday, August 09, 2010

Deja Boo for Knicks as Isiah Returns



 Amar'e sprained his wrist after holding up his jersey in this photo. 
 Is the move all that terrible? I'm an Isiah apologist, I know. But Isiah's talents have always been in scouting and finding talent, so if his consultancy role is limited to that, then so what?
Still, the move is indicative of a franchise going nowhere as long as Jimmy "Double Shot" Dolan's still in charge. It's like Frownie sez, it all starts at the top. The rot seeps down to the rest of the franchise. Dolan says Isiah was instrumental in recruiting Amar'e Stoudemire. Over whom? Is there any documentation that Amar'e had any other serious offers? Yet another example of a New York franchise bidding against itself for a past his prime player. But wait! Isiah is one of Chris Paul's idols!

Pleez, if it don't make dollars it don't make sense, and romance without finance is a damn nuisance. Big Daddy Kane would do better in charge.

Any news on the 'Gers?

Friday, August 06, 2010

The Fall and Fall of the Arby's Empire: Or, How Roast Was My Valley; Or Bury My Heart at Big Montana; or A Tale Of Two Loaded Potato Bites; or War and Beef and Cheddar

A peculiar quirk of living out here in the lonesome, crowded west is the daily barrage of shit flyer mail I get, mostly coupons for fast food. Like Juvenile said in Baller Blockin, I'm out the game. And I aint no Corleone, they can't pull me back in. Especially when they offer shit like this from Arby's. Someone took these pictures and thought they looked good? Look at all these sandwiches, none of them look appetizing. Those mozz stixxx look like Wilfred Brimley's bowel movements. Eating the Roast Beef Choice will make the Grail Knight from Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade appear to let you know you've chosen...poorly. There's an Arby's here in Santa Monica, I pass by it sometimes and I always see middle-aged men eating in there alone, no one's ever eating with other people. Like the bus station of the damned.
It's a sad end for chain that's been runnin on empty for more than decade.


 

Thursday, August 05, 2010

Castigate the Casting Director?

The Moneyball movie is finally being filmed, so it seems like a good moment to take a look at the cast.

Hard to argue with the choice of Brad Pitt.


The Parks and Rec guy as Scott Hatteberg? Score.


Interesting contrast - Art Howe had the look of a great manager, but was terrible at the job. Philip Seymour Hoffman looks like a schlub, but is a great actor.


I still think this is a practical joke:

Tastes Great, Less Filling. Who the Fuck Cares! Rodney Dangerfield, John Madden, Red Aurebach, Billy Martin, Bubba Smith and a Cavalcade of Stars in 1980s Miller Lite Ads.



Wednesday, August 04, 2010

Harold Melvin and the Blue Notes; To Be Free To Be Who We Are

Props to Al K. Mza for inspiring this romp through Google Images:
Oh, I'm sorry, what the fuck were you looking at?

Tuesday, August 03, 2010

Mellow Man Ace will Reward you With Real Hip Hop Blasting Out of Your Speakers Or He May Kill You as his Ad is Vague as To His True Intentions.

"Mellow Man Ace" is a great name. It's got three great words combined together in logical fashion. But his real name is equally awesome, as he's know to the government as Ulpiano Sergio Reyes. Like Y.G. of "Toot it and Boot It" fame, Mellow also calls L.A. Los Skandalous, which is awful. But veering back to props, my man Mellow rides the L.A. subway. From the side he looks like Guru, R.I.P.
Sadly, Mellow Man Ace was an o.g. member of Cypress Hill but left before they hit it big, so, like Harold Melvin sans the Blue Notes, he never went platinum. I spotted this poster all over Venice, and now it is for you to enjoy.

Monday, August 02, 2010

Hot Photo Monday

Mondays are not for deep thought, they are for absorbing the first shocks of the week with as little thought as possible. What better distraction then, than hot photos? Peep and Persevere, Dunnies.

First up, Broadway Joe and O.J., with nary a Suzy K. to disrupt the convo. Best caption wins a Shea Hey no-prize:

 On the more serious tip, I implore you to peep this link from the Denver Post featuring pristine quality color photos from the early 1940s. I've never seen photos this old of this high quality, it's definitely a trip to see such lifelike images of such a bygone age. via the always amazing uniwatch as usual. Here's a sample.

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Stickball Stickball Field; More Radio Bangers "Toot It and Boot It" and "Teach Me How to Dougie" Hey LeBron Knows What's Up

 Stallone is fucking ready to DEVOUR a ground ball. 
These shots are from this past July 4th at a very decent Manhattan yard by the United Nations that Al K. Mza's cleverly christened "Stickball Stickball Field" in honor of former UN head Boutros Boutros Ghali. My runner-up name is "The Polio Grounds," as it is FDR Drive adjacent. Mza was the deserving winner. In the game I was the deserving loser to Biz, but only cuz of walks. Walks are outdated, L.A. way all the way.
We also kept score via the IPad, it was genuinely cool and convenient. These pics should feature in an ad in some manner.
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Very silly controversy over at Espn as they yanked a story about LeG.O.D.D.'s Vegas partying shortly after posting it. Can LeBron live? Can he live??? So he partied, did it up, did it up. The highlight of the story was the dance-off betwixt Bron-Bron and Lamar "I Picked the Wrong Sister" Odom. Video footage would be priceless. The story in full is here.

"Teach Me How to Dougie," by the pooooorly-named California Swag District, is currently Coachette's #1 jam, followed closely by YG's (Young G?) "Toot it and Boot it." The drum loop in "Dougie" is other-wordly hypnotic, a livened-up 3-6 style. Both jammies are 80's throwbacks, and follow the leader, last year's super-banger "You're a Jerk (I know)" by the New Boyz.



By the way, YG is not from L.A., he's from Kompton/Los Skandless.

The beauty of the 80s coming back in fashion is that, with the hindsight of 20 years, today's youth can pick-and-choose only the good bits. Sort of like how in the 70's, the 50's came back in fashion, with movies like "American Graffiti," shows like "Happy Days" and punk rockers wearing cuffed jeans, white t's and leather jackets.

In the 90's we had to endure girls wearing their hair up, rocking Timbos, baggy jeans, and hoodies. In many ways, the 90's were a pop culture wasteland. Peep the outfits YG rocks in the vid, today's youth have it better. Which flies in the face of one of Dr. Miz' most famous theories.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Booby Bowl I; An Awfully Adorable Invincible Iron Man Hat; The Far East Movement's ode to the Pontiac G6

With the skies overcast and a brisk breeze blowing through Los Angeles (it's fucking cold!) this past Sunday was oddly perfect weather to play the long-overdue Booby aka International Football aka Fly Football championship, things were going swimmingly until an errant pass from yours truly severely sprained the finger of my teammate, Rex Volcanoe. He had to pop the sucker back into place. And that was that, handing the default victory to B-Town and Coachette and the official D, 7-5 winners in the first game and up 3-2 in the second.
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A most adorably rad hat. Unbearably cute even.
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Were you aware that the Pontiac G6 was an ill car? I wasn't. A bunch of wannabe Black-Eyed Peas called The Far East Movement are blowing up the airwaves with "Like a G6." I'm mildly offended that they name-check Three-Six, but that beat tho...sheeeet.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

A New Challenger for World's Greatest Penalty Kick; and A Perfect Summary of Why Citi Field is a bumout.


Not so much the greatest penalty kick but the natural evolution of where the shot should go. Are you going left or right? An effective fake-out combined with the ability to shoot with either foot is deadly, as evidenced here.

Of course, penalties would be a lot more entertaining if this completely ballsy move by legend Johan Cruyff could be pulled off more often.
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A lot has been said on the overall -meh-that is Citi Field. Suffice it to say, for all its problems, it's biggest problem, for me, is that the building of a new stadium was the Mets one big chance to have a permanent one-up on the Yankees, after all we could never have a one-up on the actual field of play but why not have a better stadium? They blew it. Cue Robert De Niro.  

Anyway, here's Greg Prince of the mexcellent Faith and Fear expressing that missed opportunity very well.
 Hey, I can't see home plate! And why the fuck is there a bridge in the outfield? Is this Houston?
What's tackier, neon ballplayers on your facade or giant ads?

Monday, July 26, 2010

Rob Van Dam 4:20 Forever

 Yesterday, moments after losing the Chinese Handball Heavyweight Championship Belt, 9-3, to my boy B-town in Venice, I ran into Rob Van Dam right by the outdoor workout area, which is the mythical home of "Muscle Beach." I recognized him right away, and got Coachette to snap this exclusive photo. RVD is EXXtremely friendly. He asked if I watched TNA, which I said I did when I could. I asked him if it's as good as the old days and he said it's as good as ever.
Back in the day, I enjoyed wrestling almost as much as everyone else did. It's purely thanks to Cannatar that I got to enjoy ECW (Elks Lodge 4-eva) which provided a far more entertaining product than WWF or WCW and RVD was the main reason why. He represented the quantum leap from Hogan style slapping of chests to high-flying off-the-top-rope style actually-athletic wrestling style.
And considering how most post-prime wrestling lives usually are it felt good to see RVD looking completely normal and healthy.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Monday, July 19, 2010

I Got A Story to Tell; "The Truth"-A New Animated Series

 For those that haven't had the chance to peep, Flannery McKenna and Simon Ampel have put together a site to showcase their masterpiece "The Truth" which features the beautifully animated stories of their neighbors in Bed-Stuy, Brooklyn.

Friday, July 16, 2010

All Praise Due To the Quote Machine that Is Al K. Mza; also Carblows Blowtran

 New York City Stickball stopped handing out awards a few years ago, which is a shame, because the MZA's response to this horrific picture of Sly Stallone would have easily copped the quote of the year award:

"If biceps are guns would those be silencers?"
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In other, somewhat related news, Juan Uribe looks really, really old. The new Otis Nixon mayhaps.


 Taking a stab at Fred Coupon-Like Creativity (see Baynilla etc.); what about Carblows Blowtran?
 

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Replacing the All-Star Game with the World Baseball Classic.

 Shortstop is ready. And get that pitcher some raisins.

The World Baseball Classic is a great idea and a lot of fun. The All-Star game was a good idea but is not anymore and is not fun.

Before television sports relied almost entirely on gate receipts. Fans in American League towns almost never got to see the stars of the National League and vice-versa. Today, obvi, we see the highlights of every game on-demand. More importantly, fans in America have largely fallen out of love with the game of baseball itself. Oh sure, we love going to the new ballparks and scarfing all the ill new food available. We love to root on our own teams towards glory. But there are very few fans who like watching baseball.

Meaning that a Cub fan would watch a Sunday Night game between the Braves and Mets, whereas a Bear fan is likely to peep a Sunday Night game betwixt the Falcons and the Giants. Football fans, college and pro, will watch almost any matchup of teams not their own. Most basket fans are the same. Part of it is tastes changing, after all, it wasn't too long ago that baseball, boxing and horse racing were by far the dominant sports. Part of it is the perception, true or not, that in football and basketball we are watching raw athleticism, that we are getting fast-paced play packed with action highlights whereas baseball is the gentle game concentrated on statistical accumulation.

All of which goes toward saying that the baseball All-Star game, as an exhibition, doesn't offer the viewing public much. Whereas the World Baseball Classic has juice.

There is a misconception that the American sports are not international. In Soccernomics, an otherwise-brilliant book by Stefan Szymanski and Simon Kuper, the authors argue that American insuralism meant that its sports did not spread beyond its borders while British ambition made soccer the global game.

"The American empire's favorite games have been no good at cultural imperialism...few American[s] ever taught baseball or football to [foreigners]."

Bullshit. Putting aside how soccer remains extremely unpopular in all of Britain's former colonies (Canada, South Africa, India, Bangladesh, Sri Lanka, Pakistan, Australia and New Zealand) , baseball is an established international game. Japan, South Korea, Taiwan, Mexico, Venezuela, Panama, Cuba, the Dominican Republic, Puerto Rico. I'm comfortable putting that list up against other international sports like cricket or rugby.

All of which goes toward saying that the World Baseball Classic is a legit tournament offering the viewing public serious juice both in terms of the strong teams in it and the appeal of nationalist rooting.

But it doesn't get taken seriously when played in March. So how about this:

Cancel the All-Star Break. Hold a yearly World Baseball Classic. Make the midsummer break 4 or 5 days. Play a final four during that break. Two reps from Asia and two reps from the Americas.

Play the preliminaries in early spring for each of the two regions. So in early spring, South Korea, Japan, Taiwan, China, Australia and South Africa, (the latter two not in Asia I know, but closer to there than to the Americas), plays for two spots in the midsummer final four. Meanwhile, the U.S., Mexico, Cuba, P.R., D.R., Panama and Venezuela play for two spots in the midsummer final four. What if the U.S. doesn't make it to the final four? So what? 24 million people in the U.S. just watched the World Cup final between Espana and Los Paises Bajos.

To allay the fears of the Major League clubs, games could be limited to 7 innings and pitchers could go no longer than 4 innings or 70 pitches.

What if the U.S. played Japan for the world baseball championship on t.v. last night instead of a meaningless exhibition? Money over bullshit.