Thursday, August 18, 2011

Why was I not informed about the existence of these commercials?

While we're on the subject of the NC two A today...



I found this while searching for "Goulet Red Ships of Spain." At some points during this video while not looking at the screen, I thought I was listening to Will Ferrell (the opening couldn't be any saltier). Kudos to the brilliant ad-man at ESPN for coming up with one of the most bizarre campaigns ever. I wasn't surprised to see Coach K awkwardly playing along in the crowd, but Rick (Francesa's chicken parm buddy) Majerus and John "I'll kick your (John Calipari's) ass!" Chaney make for amusing cameos.

At the very end, does he say "all the excitement of the Vegas, but without some bellhop fucking you for a tip!"?

With NBA armegeddon coming, ESPN will have the "only gig in town you sumbitches!" I'm imagining Will Ferrell in a rebuilt studio picking up where Bob left off. Make it happen.

Tha U


i fucking hate college football. only in america do we have to have these discussions about sports. and these fucking middle-aged white sports media people all outraged, like the morning host here in l.a., espn's colin cowherd. blaming the kids. for what? doing what anyone else in their shoes woulda done? oh, but that's right, in the white sports, like baseball, hockey, tennis and golf you can go pro outta high school, or before high school for tennis, and get paid, and party. Because that's what young entertainers do, party. Or do these middle-aged white sports-media figures not think that their favorite musicians partied; bruce springsteen, the stones etc. They'll pump Billy Joel at home and won't begrudge him the money or the partying or the d.u.i.'s. But black athletes? Getting paid?? Partying??? Making Reggie Bush give his Heisman back? Shove it up your ass.
And why is the NCAA penalty always on the future kids who had nothing to do with anything? Because the NCAA isn't interested in justice. It's a fucking pony show.
Simple solution without blowing up the rule book and without paying players. If a school fucks up, no bowl ban, no loss of scholarships, they keep playing, and every dime the school earns from its football games and its bowl games goes to other schools to pay for scholarships. Isn't the NCAA better off, morally and financially, if Ohio State, USC, and tha U play their games, stay in the spotlight, and earn money that goes to needy kids around the country?

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Get That Eddie Money Money.


Saw Eddie Money at an outdoor show in Burbank. Frank Stallone opened. And it was B.Y.O.B. Good times. Two pieces I made to commemorate the madness. p.s. Eddie's got more hits than a little bit.

Free Willie Nelson

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Deion Luwynn Sanders: Must be the money (Must be the money) That's turnin' them on

#1. When your middle name is "Luwynn" do you really need nicknames like "Prime Time" and "Neon?"
#2. Remember when Deion was a str8 G and not dressing like a fucking (literal) fairy to push DirectTV on us?
#3. "You're a real man, Deion." Fuck off, McCarver.
#4. The lyrics to "Must Be The Money"
Well all right
Yeah
You know ever since I turned pro in 1989
When I signed the dotted line
People's strange!
'Cause things change
For the better and for the worse
So I called my momma and she said "Baby,"
(Must be the money)
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
(Must be the money)
It's got to be good
(Must be the money)
I got people wantin' to be my friends
(Must be the money)
People I never knew
People I never thought about associatin with
I don't what it is
Talk to me
Check it out

Diamond Rolex, with 'gators on my feet
I got two pair for every day of the week
My hair is done, my fingernails too
Six buttons down and I don't know what to do

Must be the money (Must be the money)
That's turnin' them on
Must be the money (Must be the money)
You know I can't go wrong
Must be the money (Must be the money)
That keeps me lookin' calm
Must be the money (Must be the money)
That's got me rollin' on the strong

Limousines, in first class I fly
I'm livin' large and you know I can't deny (and my ride's)
A drop-top Benz when I'm with my lady friends
My truck's a six-four with my homie's makin' ends

Must be the money (Must be the money)
That's got me so tough
Must be the money (Must be the money)
I can't get enough
Of all the money (Must be the money)
These women fall in love
Must be the money (Must be the money)
When I'm kickin' it at the club

Flashing lights on the dance floor
The DJ says my name as I make my intro (and you know)
The place is packed, nowhere to find a seat
But Prime don't worry 'cause I'm sensin' VIP

Must be the money (Must be the money)
I got so much jewels
Must be the money (Must be the money)
Twenty-six with all this loot
Must be the money (Must be the money)
To afford the way I live
Must be the money (Must be the money)
When player's ball is at my crib

And if I make a better mansion on my land
Pools, jacuzzis, and my neighbor's can't stand
The way I live is oh so phat
I got two ladies and Prime Time is all that

Must be the money (Must be the money)
That's got me so strong
Must be the money (Must be the money)
That's turnin' them on
Must be the money (Must be the money)
You know I can't go wrong
Must be the money (Must be the money)
Come on ladies sing my song

The first thing people say is
Prime, don't let money change you
Don't let money change you
I say hey, don't let money change you
Because personally, It's gonna change my wardrobe,
My phone number, my address
Hey, my snakeskin shoes gonna change into gators
Hey, my library cards gonna change into credit cards
You know what I'm sayin'?
So don't let money change you

pic via uniwatch

Monday, August 08, 2011

Rock Aid Armenia 1989: Black Sabbath, Deep Purple, Pink Floyd Iron Maiden


Friend of mine got me this gem this weekend. 'Eavy.



Wimbley Stadium!

Monday, August 01, 2011

Mike "Big Fucking Pelf" Pelfrey Has Been Pitching, Poorly, for the New York Mets Since 2006


Career49504.354591.44

I realize Pelf had little to do with the outcome of this one, but still.

Friday, July 29, 2011

News Flash: New Jersey Governor Chris Christie is Fat

Methinks a moomoo would look more dignified. 
And Jerz' First Lady, could you please cover up those ham hocks?

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Massssssssiiiiiiive DJ Rony Seikaly from Beirut to Ibiza


gel

ungh!

greassssy
Rony Seikaly, international massive house DJ.  Luis Figo called, he wants his whole schtee back.

oh tell me why, do we build castles in the sky.............

Monday, July 25, 2011

Kool and the Gang's "Summer Madness" (the Extended Version) Will Chill You The Fuck Out No Matter How Fucking Hot it is Outside. Also, Holy Warbles Brings the Psychedelique Funkenfuzz of Stone Coal White.


you may recognize this jamm as the source for Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince's "Summertime."

BUT WAIT. This jam should be paired with their "Winter Sadness" to properly reflect on the circle of (trife) life. 
---------

While on that 70's ill jammy-jam tip, check this awesome 70's rarities music blog holy warbles. They just dropped some ill knowledge about a band called "Stone Coal White," that they accurately describe as "Psychedelique Funkenfuzz."



If you diiiiiig, the download link is in the first comment. not shady.

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Look into My Eyes

Deep in the subterreanean level below bleeker street lies a bin of magic and wonderment




doing what he does best



"lionel, we need you to look more haunted"


"same look LR, but let's get you in profile his time babe, i want to feel the hurt"


Girl, take off your pants

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

An Important Met Memorandum from the Desk of Fred Coupon: Jason "Baynilla" Bay Easily Trumps Bobby "I'll Show You the Bronx" Bonilla as the Worst Mets Free-Agent Signing of All Time


It's not even close really. Bobby Bo, for all his off-the-field crap, wasn't that terrible. Of course, if the Mets hadn't signed Bonilla, they coulda maybe been in the market for Barry Bonds, but whatevs. Keep a keen eye on tonight's Met broadcast to see Freddy Coups waving the awesome sign above in the stands.

Monday, July 18, 2011

I Survived Carmageddon and All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt


Surprise! A whole lotta hype for nothing. And all the distraction over the traffic tie-ups that never came hid the real problem, a $1 billion project to add a carpool lane that will be worthless because this is the one city with no one downtown workplace destination.


"Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day
To the last syllable of recorded time,
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
And then is heard no more: it is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing."

Friday, July 15, 2011

STOP THE PRESSES! SCRAMBLE CHOPPERS! SHOCKING NEWS! Broker Believes Real Estate Market is Strong!

Also in today's paper:

Butcher: Whaddaya Gonna Eat, Tofu?!?
Baker: Guess What Fat Kids Like!
Candlestick Maker: Candlebras Are the New Black
Penis Pill Seller: Hey, Limpdick,Your Dick's Small!
Guiseppe Franco: Bald Men Want Hair.
Bed-Stuy Bodega Owner: Hey, You Want Some Clamato? I Got Plenty.
Coffee Cart Guy: Bear Claws Need Hot Liquid to be Dunked In.
Neptune Diner Owner: Souvlaki and Rice Pudding is the New Burger and Apple Pie
Mike D'Antoni: This is the Year!
Hollywood Agent: I Smell Oscar!

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Who Was The Shittiest Mets Closer of Them All?

I was always a little partial cuz of our shared name.
What if we implanted the desire to blow a close game....in his dreams???
I didn't make this one, but I found and decided I couldn't do better for a Braden Looper image. He's Peter Criss by the way. And by the way, time may have forgotten that double blown save against Pittsburgh, but I haven't.
quick quiz, a picture of a random Met fan from the upper deck or Met closer and son of Sanitation Worker John Franco?
misunderstood, but not by Paul O'Neill.