Nets Defeat Spurs to Avoid Tying All-Time NBA Loss Record Set by the Sixers

13,000 (announced) maniacs sat in the IZOD Center and watched the Nets down the Spurs for their 10th win of the year with which the team avoided becoming the losingest team in NBA history. What a proper year it's been for the Nets, no better way to say goodbye to the Brendan Byrne/Continental Airlines/Izod Arena/Center.

Long will Coups, Biz, Boomz, and myself remember traffic-clogged treks through the Lincoln Tunnel, frigid sprints through the parking lot, tyrannical ushers enforcing rules of decorum in a half-filled arena, Sir-Slam-A-Lot, One Horse Open Tamar Slay, the very-well designed (sincerely) concourse and seating bowl (one stair case goes up and one stair case goes down versus the MSG 12 escalator Mt. Everest climb and claustrophobic hallways that seem to narrow and shorten in height, reminiscent of the ones Springfield builds for Ned Flanders).

And of course, the retired banners for Bruce Springsteen and Beppo the Clown.

Paul Lukas ESPN Column on Vintage Ticket Stubs

"Mommy, why is Mr. Met Crying?" From Paul Lukas' latest ESPN column.

Insanity Masters and Sexy People, Two Dope Pop Culture Photo Blogs

This is what the internet is best at, delivering ill photos of ill people doing ill things. Nothing like this was available before the internet, save occasional forays into the daunting stacks of the leather-bound collections of old magazines (including Playboy--but with the photos snipped) of the Mid-Manhattan Library.
Two great photo blogs for your amusement, Insanity Masters and Sexy People. (Earth People, I was Born On Jupiter). Keep on doing G.O.D.D.'s work.

Waitaminnit, This One Might Be Better

Vinsanity Jr.

Weekend Update

Tuff weekend for your boy Coachie. Got called out as "Luis Scola" on the b-ball courts on Thursday. Got whipped in handball on Saturday morning in Venice 7-3. Got whipped in stickball on Saturday afternoon in Santa Monica 5-1, then got whipped in tennis 6-0, 6-4 on Sunday morning in Marina Del Rey. Capped off by a 4-1 whipping in foosball in Simi Valley Sunday night.

   

Spotted in Downtown L.A. Friday Afternoon. E-Z solution to California's budget crisis, quintuple the vanity plate fees, these assholes will still pay.

Afro-Mullet? Check.
Jose Canseco-style shades circa 1988? Check.
Tight black t-shirt? Check.
Sucked-in beer gut? Check.
Shapeless K-Mart Jeans? Check.
Crisp white sneakers? Check.
Authoritative strut across the park? Check.
Yup, Dad's ready for another Little League Season.

(Spotted in Los Amig-Bro Park in Santa Monica, CA on Saturday afternoon)

Jozin z Bazin; Jesus is a Friend of Mine; Sonseed; Urvasi Urvasi, getting Rick Roll'd.

Traveling the globe for entertaining clips:
First up, from South India (possibly Sri Lankan); featuring some of the illest dancing this side of prime Michael Jackson, prime Usher and parkour:

Next up, some Czech (but possibly Slovakian) schtee reminiscent of Andy Kaufman, musty suits and mustier beards.

and finally, America's Funniest Home Video-style ska combined with some serious love for the Man Above:

St. John's Season, and Anthony Mason Jr.'s career, ends in NIT loss to Memphis (Hopefully Norm Roberts gets fied too)

At least Mase, Jr. went out a-blazin; looking good with the mini-eraser head that's making a strong comeback this year with Baron Davis and Brandon Jennings leading the way.  On the free throw line needing two to tie with 30 seconds left, Anthony Mason, Jr. bricked the first. But he came right back on their next possession, banging a three from Beale Street to tie the game in Memphis. But then Wesley Witherspoon made an impossible layup, he drove the lane, went too far, threw it up as he fell out of bounds, it bounced high off the glass then off the rim then in as time expired; ending another disappointing year for St. John's and ending Anthony Mason, Jr.'s collegiate career.

The chapter should soon be closing on Head Coach Norm Roberts, who has enjoyed but two winning seasons out of six and only this year did the team reach the NIT. Many say Roberts has brought credibility back to the program. But for a Big East school with a powerful recruiting base in the area's parochial schools, making it as far as the NIT should be a given year-in-year-out. 6 years and one NIT appearance speaks for itself. Peace.

As for the NIT itself, I cannot fathom any argument to abolish it in favor of an expanded field. Frownie was there with me as we stormed the court for St. John's' 2004 NIT title. I'd rather peep my team win an NIT over bow out in the first round any day.

And now the payoff, pics of Anthony Mason, Jr. and his pops.

Damn, before young Mase shaved the dreads he looked like Weezy.

Live.........from Daryl Hall's House (but what about John Oates?)

 If you're stressed the f out, then chill the f out with Daryl Hall. The magic of his poppy voice is matched only by the magic of Internet technology that allows us to jam with him in his own him! Truth in advertising, it's called Live From Daryl's House. Mellow vibes, mellow melodies, mellow guests, mellow beaches, mellow tuneskis, everything's mellow except Daryl's hair. Aint nothing mellow about those silky strands of pure sex. Enjoy your stay, just don't go in the basement.

Meanwhile, where the fuck is Oates? Out of touch, out of time.

When Knicks-Nets Meant Something

Coach Scotty Brooks and Sam I Am watch in amazement as Coach Herbie Williams valiantly attempts to convert a finger roll. Judging by the talent on the floor, this must have been some game.

Film Footage of a Man Drinking a Beer in 1897; and Lazertits!

Now that's Old Man Beers.

Also, a great tumblr site called Lazertits. Truth in advertising. Showing the power of a clever concept, access to vintage 70's photographs, and photoshop.

New Futures Exchange Allows Investors to Invest in Movie Futures, short v long

Think "A-Team" is going to bomb? Think "Hot Tub Time Machine" will be a down-low hit? Knew all along that "Alice in Wonderland" would have the biggest opening ever? Now you can put your mozzarellll where your mouth is. Two new futures exchanges, one from Cantor Fitzgerald in NY and the other from a startup called Veriana Networks will soon debut that will allow studios to spread the risk that their movie will tank while allowing alternative forms of finance to flow into independent studios struggling to make their pictures. As reported in full by the LA Times.

Of course, what can go wrong when product producers become attenuated from the risks inherent to their business? Never get high when you got no supply.

That's Just Not Fair.

Coachie has reminded us of the glory of Vinsanity ballin' Freddy Weiss, but here's a mystery gem- this unfortunate dude is getting kneed/mooned while Carter is in an absolutely amazing position for a dunk. How are his legs like that? How high is he (maan)?


And, um, this one just looks silly. What I wouldn't give...

Rare video footage of Babe Ruth playing baseball, also, Efforts to Map London, also subway maps

 Two amazing links in the Uniwatchblog ticker today. The first is super-rare footage of Babe Ruth getting hit by a pitch. Not sure exactly how much film exists of the Babe in action, so this is super-cool to see. Here is the link.

Also, an interesting/nerdy series in Slate magazine exploring signage and navigation in big cities. Kind of a poor start with a Penn Station piece, and then a better one on attempts to make useful maps of London for pedestrians. New York has a subway map that is also useful as a general map of NYC (despite its skewed orientation (and the flip side showing the regional train map is fantastic). Chicago's El map is somewhat useful for getting around town, but their system is relatively uncomplicated. (also, the trains are super slow). London, famously, has a post-modern tube map that is generally useless for navigating the city above. The planners are hoping that better signage will encourage more walking and thus remove stress on the tube system.

Then there is Los Angeles. Feast your eyes on the area's utterly insane bus+train map. The buses out here are actually pretty good, provided you only travel in a straight line. L.A.'s actually an easy city to navigate, what with the major boulevards running from the ocean eastward to downtown, major avenues running from the hills southward to the ports,  and the odd-numbered north-south freeways and the even-numbered east-west freeways. Of course, it's always depressing to see old train/trolley maps of L.A., with lines going everywhere, serving the whole region before being torn up in the 1950s. Then again, if L.A. actually had a functional and useful subway system it would instantly become the greatest city in the world and become more crowded than it already is so...

Swish.

Ainge and Thunder Dan in the same backcourt in Live 95? To quote Denzel in Virtuosity, "Game ovah."

Notre Dame AD Admits NCAA Athletics is a Business

Notre Dame AD Jack Swarbrick let slip this telling quote in discussing potential conference realignments, ""I've been around this business for 29 years and this is as unstable as I've ever seen it." A business with unpaid employees, what a concept!

The Pac-10 is exploring the addition of two teams, while the Big Ten is looking for its 12th member. Once at 12 teams, the Pac-10 and Big Ten could have conference championship games in football. Remember kids, we can't have a playoff in college football because adding games would rob student-athletes of school time (never mind that the playoffs would take place over Christmas/New Year's). How can they justify adding a conference championship in early December, when most schools are in finals? The mind spins.

Let's hope Ed O'Bannon is successful in his lawsuit against the NCAA for the uncompensated use of his likeness in video games.

Gael Monfils Amazing Tennis Rally and a World Record Kick to the Balls

Tennis in March? France's Gael Monfils demands and commands your attention with this absurd vertical rally.
Also, as Hans Moleman taught us in "Man Getting Hit By Football," a man getting hit in the balls is always entertaining.

These Dunks Hactually Happened

Why Would Anyone Want To Read 340 Pages About The Mets?

A free 340-page Mets annual from Amazin' Avenue.

Of course, this is way too much information about the Mets, but it appears (based on a very quick skim) to be very well done.

Amusingly, the authors wrote a brief little rhyme about each player as part of their player profiles. Sample:

Josh Fogg
Fans wanted a pitcher, but looked on, agog
As all the Mets gave them was signing Josh Fogg.

Anderson Hernandez
The Mets turned to Hernandez late in the season.
For hitting? For fielding? For no evident reason.

Gary Matthews Jr.
The Mets earned the privilege, for two million bucks
To learn what the Angels know; this player sucks!

Keep On Yammin

Coachie surely had this classic video in mind- from the poster boy of being posterized (to the tune of nearly 70 mil (scroll to bottom of the page)):

Donnie Walsh Admits Knicks Have No Rebuilding Plan and Are a Complete and Utter Failure

 The killing joke.

Surprise Knicks fans! If the Knicks don't sign LeBron this summer, there is no Plan B! A pathetic "Teflon" Donnie Walsh has admitted that he is to blame for the Knicks being one of the worst teams in the league with no bright future ahead.

Try this on for double-speak:

"I didn't say (in) one summer we're going to turn around and become a championship team," Walsh said. "And I'm not asking for time. I won't have that much time. I know one thing. Now at least we have a flexible position, whether it's next summer or the summer after to start adding players to this team that can head you in that direction."

So he's not asking for time, but he is asking until at least the summer of 2011, so maybe, maybe, FOUR years into his plan we'll be a playoff team. This, in an Eastern Conference where it is possible to make the playoffs while being well under .500. This, from a man, who has traded away our 2012 first-rounder while insuring that our 2011 first-rounder is very low by swapping picks with the always-competitive Rockets. 

Other teams build through the draft. The Celtics won by swapping for KG (using a savvy draft choice in Al Jefferson) but had a strong stable of draft choices including Rajon Rondo and Paul Pierce. The Spurs core of Big Funda, Ginoblez and Eva Longoria were all draft picks. The Lakers were savvy enough to swap draft picks with the Charlotte Hornets to nab Kobe. You can go up and down the league past and present and see how every champion was built through the draft.

Meanwhile, even though the entire decade of the 2000s was a complete waste of time for the Knicks, they never once had a high lottery pick because they've never been bad enough! It's the worst kind of hell. Terrible, but not terrible enough. In the NBA, if you are not going to make the playoffs then you must tank, and tank until you are one of the worst teams in the league to ensure that even if the ping-pong balls don't go your way that you'll still pick in the top 5. The Knicks haven't picked in the Top 5 since they drafted Kenny "Sky" Walker, before Kevin Durant was even born! 

Walsh's plan from Day 1 should have been to actively seek trades for the entire roster that brought back draft picks. Instead, we flushed two years down the toilet, and possibly two more, to sign second-tier free agents that just maybe will get us back in the lower half of the playoff pool while robbing us of the chance to draft legitimate superstars that will grow with the franchise.

Read Donnie Walsh's pathetic apology in full here.

How to Save the NBA Dunk Contest; Nate Robinson Dunking over Bill Wennington

I was listening to a Sports Herb's podcast recently, he had on frequent guest Kevin Wildes on to discuss  half-baked ideas. One of them was a fantastic idea to spice up the dunk contest, where each dunker would have to try and dunk on a defender. There's no doubt that after 20 years of solo dunks something needs to change. It's like watching the high jump after a certain point, there are only so many pirouettes one can do on the way to a solo yam.

Years back Biz, Coups and I discussed how much doper it would be if dunkers yammed over doofy white centers, inspired by the illest facial of all time.

The other night, LeG.O.D.D. had a dunk against the Knicks that he personally felt was one of his most satisfying ever, even though it didn't count cuz it came after a foul. Here it is on youtube. It's quite lovely. But what do we really want to see? We want to see Carter stuffing his balls down Weis' throat. We want to see Shawn Kemp dunking violently on fools and then pointing at them.

It's sort of how shoot-outs in Soccer are a complete bore. Tense, but a bore nonetheless. It's a player standing there against a Goalkeeper who doesn't stand a chance (success rate is in the low 80s). He kicks it, more often than not, it goes in. With dunks, we wouldn't need as much acrobatics, so long as they got a decently ill dunk off a doof. Bring back Mureson, Weis, Bill Wennington, Jeff Eaton, Kurt Rambis, Luc Longley, Eric Montross, Bryant Reeves, bring them all back, and let them get dunked on.

The Champion. The Challenger.

Inevitably, there were only two possible outcomes from this titanic slice in time (one of Coachie's finest snapshots, and my desktop wallpaper to boot):

1) A swing and a miss, or

2) A booming double into Tree.

Representin Roosevelt Isle

Democracy in New York

News and notes from a failed State:
1. A loser's lunch featuring Carl McCall, Charles Rangel and Malcolm Smith.

2. The most powerful politician in the State, whose mandate to rule comes from the margin of a few thousand voters from the more un-residential portions of Lower Manhattan has called for the sitting Governor to stop governing.

3. Partly because the sitting Governor used government resources and employees to help cover up a growing sex scandal.

The next time the United Nations sends an observer mission to oversee some election in some far-off land to make sure democracy is spreading they should visit Albany. The next time we talk about foreign affairs or national politics let's turn the talk to matters in our own backyards, to elections where our vote actually matters.

As Fiorello LaGuardia said; "There is no Democratic or Republican way to pick up garbage." The two most ungovernable states in the union, New York and California, are two of the most politically aware and educated states in the union, but not enough people in those states care enough about their own local politicians.

Or as R. Kelly said, "they don't sleep with us, they don't eat with us, besides, what they eat don't make us shit." Real talk.

South African Slang; Pasop, bra!

From the Guardian:
Ag (a-ch). Exclamation similar to the English urgh. Pronounce the Afrikaans "g" as you would "ch" in loch. "Ag, no man! He's missed a sitter!"
Amasi (a-mar-si). Or simply maas. Traditional drink made from soured milk. It can be drunk on its own or served with phutu – plain cooked maize meal – and sugar for breakfast.
Babbelas (bub-a-lars). Hangover - usually rather a bad one. From the isiZulu word for hangover isibhabhalazi. "Hello, hello. Great party last night. How's your head? Are you a bit babbelas?"
Bra (brah) or bru. Nothing to do with underwear at all, but an informal term for "my friend" or "mate", deriving from "brother". 'He's my bra but that team he supports is rubbish." Bru stems from the Afrikaans for brother, broer.
Chips! Chips!. Nothing you'll find in the kebab shop around the corner but an expression of alarm or warning. "Chips! Chips! He's off-side"
Doing a Bafana (bah-fah-nah). To demand more money for average service. Derives from the reputation of the weak South Africa side, the Bafana-Bafana, which has yet to make it beyond the first round of a World Cup. "A tip? You're doing a Bafana!"
Diski (dis-ky). Football in township slang. "I love diski. I watch as many games as I can."
Dwaal (dwahrl). To not be paying attention, or for one's mind to wander. Derives from the Afrikaans meaning "to wander". "I got lost in Moses Mabhida Stadium; I was in such a dwaal I didn't look at the signs."
Eish (ay-sh). An isiZulu and isiXhosa expression good for everything from resignation, to exasperation, to pleasant surprise. "Eish! I can't believe they're playing so badly," or, "Eish! That goal was incredible. Think this could be our year."
Eina (ay-nah). Ouch or sore. Afrikaans, but possibly from Khoikhoi before that. "Eina! Did you see where that ball hit him?" or "Is your head eina?"
Fundi (foon-dy). An expert or knowledgeable person, from the isiZulu and isiXhosa word for teacher, umfundisi. "Eh? You're bit of a fundi on the stats then, aren't you?"
Gatvol (gut-foll). Fed up and irritated. Literally meaning in Afrikaans "hole full". Pronounce the "g" as the Scottish "ch" in loch. "We've been here for hours and this queue isn't going anywhere. I'm gatvol."
Gogga (gog-ga). Any insect or creepy crawly. Pronounce the "g" as the Scottish "ch" in loch. "Did you see that gogga in the hotel room the morning? It was walking away with my shoes."
Howzit?. Common informal greeting that is a contraction of "how is it?'" More of a greeting than a specific enquiry. "Hey! Howzit man? I haven't seen you since the Confederations Cup."
  Hayibo (hi-ie-boh). Expression of disbelief or irritation. "Hayibo! Ferdinand? Captain?"
Isit (iz-it). An exclamation of surprise, similar in meaning to "is that so?". "Isit? Really? I didn't know Beckham's first match for England was against Moldova."
Jawelnofine (yar-well-no-fine). Means anything from "yes" to "ok, yes, but I think you're being an idiot". "Jawelnofine. Stay out until 4am tonight but remember we're flying to Port Elizabeth at 8am tomorrow."
Jol (jorl). From the Afrikaans meaning "to party" or "to have a good time". "C'mon bru, we're going jolling tonight."
Laduma! (la-do-muh). He scores! Shouted at every goal and originates from the isiZulu for "it thunders". "It's in! It's in! Laduma!"
Kif. Geat, good. "That was such a kif game. I'm so glad we came."
Koeksister (cook-sister). Confectionary similar to Indian gulab jamun made of plaited, risen dough deep-fried and dipped into ice-cold sugar syrup. Brought to South Africa by Malay workers, the name derives from the Afrikaans koek (cake) and sissen (to sizzle), after the sound the hot dough makes upon meeting the cold syrup.
Lekker (lack-er). From the Afrikaans meaning great or good - an expression of approval. "Lekker man. You have a jersey signed by Steven Pienaar? Very cool."
Makarapa (mak-ah-rah-pah). Highly decorated headgear worn by football fans - fashioned out of hard hats and customised to match team colours. Makarapas have their roots among migrant labourers working on Johannesburg's gold mines.
Mampara (mum-pa-ruh). Fool or idiot, suspected to be Sotho in origin. "Hey, Rooney! Stop behaving like such a mampara."
Muti (moo-ti). Medicine, from the isiZulu muthi. "I need to get some headache muti; I'm seriously babbelas."
Now-now. Reference to something that will happen soon, usually within a few minutes but also within in a couple of hours. "We need a goal and it's coming now-now. "
Oke (oak) and ou (oh). Bloke or guy, from Afrikaans. "I couldn't see that penalty; that oke in front of us was standing up."
Pasop (pus-orp). Watch out. "Pasop! Carry on and you'll get a red card."
Quagga (kwa-gh-uh). An extinct species of zebra (Equus quagga) that once habituated the Cape but was hunted out in the 1800s. Pronounce the Afrikaans "g" as you would "ch" in loch. "Bafana-Bafana? Win the World Cup? You're seeing quaggas, mate."
Robot. Traffic light. "There are hawkers selling great caps near the robot."
Shibobo (she-bor-bor). To nutmeg an opponent and make a fool out of them. "Heh! Look at that shibobo."
Skollie (skor-ly), skelm (skeh-lim) and skabenga (ska-beng-ga) Criminals or people up to no good. "Did that skollie pinch your wallet?' or "What a skabenga – he's headbutted him." "Bunch of skelms!"
Tekkies (tack-ies). Trainers. "Hold on, I'll just grab my tekkies."
Taxi Sometimes a car, but usually refers to mini-bus taxis, which are used throughout South Africa. Taxis are not always roadworthy and can be driven dangerously.
Ubuntu (oo-boon-to). Southern African philosophy with the central tenet that a person is a person because of other people – no man is an island. Ubuntu was central to the post-Apartheid Truth and Reconciliation Commission. From the isiZulu word for goodness. "I gave away my tickets in the spirit of ubuntu."
Vuvuzela (voo-voo-zeh-la). A long, plastic horn blown loudly at every football match in South Africa and thought to have been modelled on an antelope horn. No self-respecting football fan should be without one.
Wena (where-nuh). You, from isiZulu. "Hey wena. Would like a beer?"
Wors (vors). Traditional Afrikaans sausage now eaten by everyone. Flavoured with spices such as coriander and chilli, the full name is boerewors, which translates directly as farmers' sausage. A wors roll is a length of wors in a white bread roll, topped with onions, mustard and tomato sauce. You may also have pap (cooked maize meal) and wors with a tomato and onion sauce.
Xhosa (korsa). South African tribe dominant in the Eastern Cape province. The letter "x" is pronounced with a click emanating from the sides of the mouth, as if you were clicking at a horse. "My friend Lusanda is Xhosa; she speaks isiXhosa."
Yebo (yeah-boh). Yes, yeah. "Yebo – I've got the match tickets in my pocket, don't worry."
Zakumi - the official World Cup mascot. Designed by Andries Odendaal, Zakumi is an anthropomorphised leopard with green dreadlocks. His name comes from "ZA", the code for South Africa, and "kumi", which means 10 in various African languages.

LeBron James, Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh on the New York Knicks; ESPN's Silly Fantasy

 

so hot right now

 ESPN's Gene Wojciechowski checks in with a silly throwaway column today, fantasizing, nay, drooling over the prospect of LeG.O.D.D., Dwyane "Remember how shitty Dominique was in the latter part of his career" Wade, and Chris "Despite having decent talent around me I've never lead the Raptors out of the First Round in the shitty Eastern Conference but pay me like I'm a franchise" Bosh all suiting up at MSG next season. Left unsaid is the promise of wild nights spent sipping with Harvey Weinstein and Ron Howard.

 Here are some choice lowlights from the piece:

"LeBron could leave $30 million on the table if he ditches the Cavs.
I'd ditch them. If you're really serious about creating a brand and a basketball legacy, do something that's never been done before"

Probably hasn't been done before because it's not a good idea. Like when Kobe wised up by re-upping with the Lakers instead of jumping ship to the Clippers. LeBron's been on a championship caliber-team for three years now, why risk is to jump to one of the worst organizations in the league, the one with no playoff wins since 2000, and the one which will surround him with absolute garbage? And all that for way less money! But drinks at the 40/40 with Harvey Weinstein!

"But if James, Wade and Bosh truly want to make history, they could do the unthinkable and split the Knicks' $33 million three ways. It would cost them salary money, but can you imagine how much they'd make on the back end if they started reeling in NBA titles? In New York?"

They could cut a jam with Alicia Keys! Get lucrative endoresements like starring alongside Clyde and Mex in a Just for Men commercial! Be chastised by Mayor Bloomberg (watch that salt Boshie!)! Be caught leaving Kate Hudson's apartment and have your sorry mug splashed on the front page of the Post! They can eat a bagel.......with a schmear!!!!!

I'm not all hate tho, he did have one good line:
"So it's not as if Bosh is ordering the 89-cent, five-layer burrito from Denise."
I love that commercial, the eagerness of the deryl ordering the burritois a magical feeling of anticipation and excitement that I know all too well.

Man United 3, West Ham, Valencia+Rooney=Beautiful Goals

 

My recap of Tuesday's Man United-West Ham game up at EPL Talk. Whether footie fan or not, I strongly encourage you to peep this absolutely amazing goal, Man United's Dimitar Berbatov sends a pass in the air from the left side of the pitch to the right, whereupon Antonio Valencia kicks it back across without ever letting the ball hit the ground. Wayne Rooney then heads it in. Again, has to be seen to be appreciated.

Unhappy Hipsters; Postmodern Architecture meets Vice Magazine Style Dos and Donts

A great photo blog website, Unhappy Hipsters, featuring actual homes and interiors from magazines such as Dwell. The blog title is inappropriate, these aren't really the fogerty wearing bearded klostermans that we're used to in "east" williamsburg. And true, creating smug and sarcastic captions isn't the most difficult task, but as Vice Magazine has shown us, it can be the height of easy entertainment. Not that this blog is up to Vice's standards, the pictures they post really do speak for themselves. Minutes of clicking pleasure.

The Chicago Bulls' Failure with the NBA Free Agents of 2000 and a Lesson For the Knicks

 While the basketball media-at-large, save Peter Vescey continue to shower love on Teflon Donnie Walsh, it's hard to find an actual fan endorsing the direction of the Knicks. Lost in the hullaballoo of the $-shedding move for the whisper of T-Mac. (His legs are fine! Where have we heard this before?) was the forfeiture of more draft picks. As the imperious and ever-on-his game Vescey points out in Sunday's Post, the team the Knicks lost to on Saturday, the Oklahoma City Thunder, were built, in less time than the Knick "rebuilding" plan has taken, through the draft. Durant was a no-brainer, but Russell Westbrook, James Harden and Jeff Green weren't.

Of course, everyone rationalizes, all will be forgiven if the Knicks end up with LeG.O.D.D. and Chris Bosh this summer (but what if it's Amare and T-Mac?). Well, let the past play prologue. In the summer of 2000, Tim "Big Funda" Duncan, Tracy "The fact that I was sought after in the year 2000 should be most ominious" McGrady, Grant "Oh Shit, Fila?" Hill, and Eddie "Butter" Jones were all free agents. The Chicago Bulls had cleared enough payroll to sign two of those ballers to 'instantly' rebuild in the wake of the Jordan/Pippen era.


They ended up with Ron Mercer.

George Peppard: An icon to boys and girls alike

Now that's a hunky chest

 I recently saw Breakfast at Tiffany's at a revival theater; having never seen it before. As I sipped on my bottle of smuggled-in wine (out of a coke cup-classy!), I got the feeling that I recognized the lead actor from somewhere. At first I thought it was Fred Gwynn, from The Munsters and My Cousin Vinny, but this guy romancing Audrey Hepburn seemed too handsome to be the same dude. Well, color me shocked to later learn it was George Peppard aka M.F.n Hannibal from The A-Team.

 

 

 Which got me thinking further, knowing that Coachette, like many other ladies, ranks Tiffany's as one her favorite flicks, and knowing how iconic Hannibal was for deryls my age and older, has any other actor played an iconic role for each sex? It'd be like Hugh Grant starring in Knight Rider or something. Or Molly Ringwald starring in Terminator.

 Of course, being a Natural Born Hater, I'm not down with this summer's big-screen A-Team relaunch. The appeal of the A-Team was in its jackpot casting, not in its premise. Liam Neeson is a fine actor and all, but it's all too gimmicky and stunty. To me, there are Shakesperean franchises, stories capable of being adapted with different actors and different contexts. Think West Side Story, Twilight or James Bond. Then there are stories which work well in only a certain time and place. And that's the A-Team, a story that worked only because of the actors in it and the context of the time it came out. Moreover, I question it's value as a brand, as it no meaning to anyone younger than ourselves save for that Mr. T was in it. 

To coincide with the new movie, a new line of A-Team comics is being released. From the looks of this cover it's waaaay to serious. Backstory and exposition not needed, Hannibal smoking a stog while B.A. blows some shit up is. George Peppard, R.I.P.

Improving Defensive Statistics in Baseball by Recording Each Play.

 A company named SportVision will install video cameras at every Major League ballpark to record each play. "Sportvision’s FieldFX camera system records the action while object-recognition software identifies each fielder and runner, as well as the ball. After a play, the system spits out data for every movement: the trajectory of the ball, how far the fielder ran, and so on. “After an amazing catch by an outfielder, we can compare his speed and route to the ball with our database and show the TV audience that this player performed so well that 80 percent of the league couldn’t have made that catch,” says Ryan Zander, Sportvision’s manager of baseball products."

SportVision could make some serious side-money by selling DVD compilation of certain players and their gaffes. No doubt Fred Coupon would have gotten me a DVD of David Murphy's lowlights in the outfield for Christmas had such a DVD existed. And I would have loved it. Would have put it on my shelf next to my VHS copy of "Rey-O," the tape where Cookie Rojas and Rey Ordonez give a master class in defense. Of course, Keith Hernandez is training Murph at first base this year so that's all behind us. 

Manchester United 3, AC Milan 2, First Leg, Champions League Knockout Stage

 

Got a post up at EPL Talk sharing my thoughts on Tuesday's thoroughly entertaining Man United-Milan tilt. I let the Jay Leno one-liners rip in this one.